Not Always Black and White
by RunsWithScizors
Summary: In honor of Black 2 and White 2, my sister and I present our retelling of the original Black and White games. A parody of the Black version, with Disney parodies, Doctor Who, sarcastic grass snakes and stupid Oshawotts. A little FerrisWheelshipping, but mostly for comedy. And it is not meant to be taken seriously, at least for a while.
1. The Journey Begins

**Our take on all the Black/White rewrites across the site, none of which we've actually read. That said, there will be shipping, but we try not to make it the focus. I came up with the idea to write up the game as a story, some of the weirder plots, and most dialogue for Hilbert, Hilda, Ghetsis, Alder, the Elite Four, and the Shadow Triad. After the first chapter, my sister does almost everything else, including typing, so expect a lot of her writing style.**

**WARNING: This story is written by a boy living in his own little world and a girl with way too much free time on her hands. It is in no way meant to be taken seriously before the Ferris wheel scene, and if you do, I pity you.**

**Pokemon does not belong to us, nor does Yugioh (Abridged or otherwise), Tangled, Doctor Who, Dennis the Menace, or anything else we may reference, so please don't sue us.**

Once upon a time, in Nuvema Town, twins were born to parents that probably weren't ready to raise two kids at once. Though Hilda was intelligent and well-behaved, bringing home the grades from school, Hilbert was more of a hands-on learner who sometimes seemed dumber than a sack of potatoes.

Different as they were, however, the twins shared a set of best friends: Cheren, who was more Hilda's friend and just hung out with Hilbert because he was always there, and Bianca, who more than likely only started a friendship with Hilbert because she was pleased there was someone more incompetent than she was.

It was around their fifteenth year of existence that Professor Juniper called Hilda, Bianca and Cheren to give them a special mission. The three gathered in Hilda's bedroom, debating who would open the big box sitting on her desk.

"It's her house," Cheren was saying. "Let's let Hilda pick first."

"Fine with me," Bianca agreed.

Hilda got off her bed to get the box, when something caught her attention. Something that shouldn't have been there. Or, rather, someone...

"Hi, big sister!"

Hilbert.

"What in the name of Reshiram are you doing?" Hilda demanded, stepping in front of the box to keep it out of her brother's sight. Too late - Hilbert had already spotted it, and dashed past her to grab a hold of it. He ripped the lid off the box, and stared at the three small balls inside.

"These are Pokeballs!" he cheered, hugging the box. "Oh, you shouldn't have!"

"We didn't," Cheren said, yanking the box from the other boy's hands. "These are from Professor Juniper...and they are for me, Hilda, and Bianca."

Hilbert blinked.

Cheren stared.

Hilbert's eyes started to water.

Cheren's eyes rolled back into his head.

Hilbert let out a long, ear-splitting wail that sent the girls running downstairs to explain to his mother that he wasn't hurt, he'd just found Professor Juniper's presents.

Cheren facepalmed but didn't let go of the box.

"Mommy!" Hilbert cried, nearly knocking Hilda and Bianca back down the stairs as he ran to complain to his mother. "How come Hilda gets a Pokemon and I don't? I want a friend! I want a Pokemon! I want one just like _meeeee!_"

Cheren sighed and placed the slightly dented box back on Hilda's desk, where the three Pokemon were left unhurt. "All right. Now that _that's_ over with..."

"Wait," Hilda said, and dragged the giant Snorlax doll her father had sent her from Kanto over the door, blocking it from any unsuspecting mothers and brothers. Satisfied, she plunked down on her bed. "OK. You can continue now."

"Right," Cheren agreed. "Anyway, it's Hilda's house, so Hilda gets first pick."

Hilda looked down at the three balls, not sure which to choose. Professor Juniper had mentioned a Tepig, an Oshawott, and a Snivy, but she wasn't sure which one she liked best.

"I'll take this one," she said, picking one at random. There was a small, leaf-shaped sticker on the ball. Snivy.

Bianca grinned and reached into the box. "And I'll take this one," she said happily, grabbing both of them. She handed one over to Cheren. "You can have that one."

"And what makes you think you can make my decisions for me?" But Cheren was nearly laughing, something Hilda realized that had been nearly impossible to catch him doing lately. "It's all right, I wanted Tepig anyway."

Bianca brightened at the statement. "That's great. Now, why don't we have a battle?"

Hilda and Cheren exchanged a look. It couldn't really hurt...

* * *

Hilbert sipped at the glass of milk his mother had given him, seemingly over it. Even the crashes and battle cries coming from upstairs didn't bother him as he tried to ignore it.

The arrival of three nervous teenagers into the living room, however, set him off again, and he only calmed down once his mother had whispered something.

"I'm sorry about the trouble," Cheren said after they explained that Hilda's room had been completely annihilated in the battle. "We could clean up..."

"I'll take care of that," Hilda's mom promised. "After all, I need something to do when my kids are gone."

After a quick mumbled thank-you, Cheren took off to Professor Juniper's lab and Bianca ran off to home. Unfortunately, Hilda caught the plural her mother had used. "Hilbert gets a Pokemon?"

"He gets to come along with you on your journey," her mom corrected. "I think you two should go and get Bianca before your journey starts, don't you agree?"

"But..."

"But nothing!" Hilbert huffed. "Mom said you have to take me!"

Hilda's left eye twitched, and her mother sensed a protest coming. But, with a sigh, Hilda grabbed her brother by the back of the shirt and forcibly dragged him from the house, hoping to get Bianca's parents to temporarily trade him for their daughter. She knew how protective her friend's father could get. Maybe if he had someone else to supervise...

* * *

''Professor Juniper, do you have a fourth Pokemon?" Hilda asked, following Cheren and Bianca into the lab. "Lie to me, if you do."

Professor Juniper was about to answer when she saw Hilbert. "Fourth pokemon!?" Professor Juniper asked. "I only had the 3."

That's when an Oshawott popped out of its pokeball, burping loudly. "Ok, I understand why you lied to me," Hilda said. "Hilbert, do you want this or not?"

"I don't know," Hilbert said. He stared.

The Oshawott stared back.

Hilbert stared.

The Oshawott picked its nose.

Hilbert _stared_.

The Oshawott scratched its ear with its foot.

Hilbert _**stared.**_

The Oshawott made a platypus face.

"This is my Pokemon!" Hilbert yelled, causing multiple sweat drops among the others. "I will call him Tommy, and he shall be mine. And he shall be my Tommy."

Professor Juniper closed her eyes to avoid watching the idiocy going around. "That Oshawott is...special," she told the teenagers. "A lot like you, Hilbert. He likes to eat things."

"That just makes it more perfect!"

"No, he eats things he's not supposed to eat, not edible things in large amounts. He always throws them up later, but obviously, I wouldn't want him to go and munch on anyone's badges."

"I won't let him munch on my badges," Hilbert promised.

"Who says you'll be earning badges at all?" Hilda snapped, smacking her brother upside the head. It didn't hurt him, and he was too thrilled about his Tommy to pretend it did, so it went ignored.

Cheren ignored them for everyone's sanity, signaling to Bianca to do the same. "So, what about that Pokedex thing you were telling us about?"

Professor Juniper jumped on the chance to change the subject. "That's right, the Pokedex. I have chosen the three of you to assist with my research. I want you to study Pokemon for me when I'm busy, and perhaps you will become strong Trainers."

"But what about Bianca?" Hilbert asked. "I thought Cheren and Hilda and I were chosen."

"No, _I_ was chosen, not you," Bianca told him, flicking a strand of blond hair out of her face. "You're just here to be funny."

"Ok."

Cheren, however, didn't seem too convinced. "Professor, I'm not sure sending a bunch of inexperienced teenagers out into the wilderness to survive on their instincts and whatever help small creatures can give them is the best idea."

"Professor Oak did it with children younger than you," Juniper replied calmly. "And your Pokemon are stronger than you think. Still, it would be better if you have more than one. Meet me at Route 1, and I'll demonstrate how to catch Pokemon for you."

And she left the four new trainers alone in her lab. Which, looking back later, probably wasn't the greatest idea she'd ever had.

* * *

"Wait, before you go!"

Hilda turned to see her mother, who carried three items. She handed one to her daughter, and one each to the other chosen ones. "Town Maps," she explained. "You'll always know which route leads where."

"Thank you," Bianca cheered, putting the map away in her bag.

"Yes, thank you," Cheren repeated, his Tepig repeating the statement at his feet.

Hilda opened her mouth to say the same, but it was cut off before it could begin when Tommy, the mentally-disabled Oshawott, gobbled down the Town Map before she could use it. To say that Hilda was ticked off would have been the understatement of the year. She chased the little critter in circles around the lab, and when she finally caught him, he managed to get away by giving her a present: a Water Gun to the face.

"Mom!" the girl whined, falling over into the dirt. "Do I have to travel with that thing?"

The Snivy gave her what seemed to be a hug, with a statement that Hilda took to be Snivy-speak for "I have a type advantage. I can kill him, if you want."

"You know, you're kind of cute," Hilda said with a smile. "You need a name, too. What should I call you?" Snivy shrugged. "Maybe...are you a boy or girl?" the grass snake pointed toward Hilda. "So you're a girl? Well, then. I guess I'll call you Erika."

Hilda's mom smiled as the girl and her Snivy shared a moment of friendship, but then seemed to remember something. "Oh! You better head off and meet Professor Juniper. She's waiting for you."

And so, the Town Map forgotten, they left to head onto Route 1 together. Taking the first step simultaneously, the three Chosen Ones headed out to start their new adventure, Erika, Tepig and Oshawott following behind their trainers into the land of the unknown.

Hilbert hugged Tommy happily, and smiled as he watched his sister and only friends head off into the horizon. Then, he seemed to realize something:

"Wait for me, guys!"


	2. Enter Team Plasma

**WARNING: Other than the fact that we both like N, we have to warn you guys that from this point on, expect spoilers for the end of the game. If you haven't played all the way through and don't want to know how it ends yet, stop reading NOW and finish playing. If you've already played it through or don't care, go right ahead and read.**

**Assuming you're still here, we also have a few other explanations to give for this chapter. My sister's a big romance freak, so I told her we could hint at her favorite couples if we got to write song parodies in the story. She accepted the conditions, and we wrote this song in about 20 minutes. It's to "Mother Knows Best" from Tangled.**

**Neither of us can write battle scenes, so you're going to have to deal with it, and we are aware Team Plasma is not exactly PETA. That's all.**

Professor Juniper met them at the start of Route 1, a Pokeball in her hand and a bright smile on her face. "I see you all made it. Now, we're here to try to catch a Pokemon. Those of you who already know this may tune me out, while I reccommend that those who don't, listen. Now, we start here by finding a wild Pokemon."

"Like that thing?" Hilbert asked, pointing. A Patrat ran out from behind a tree, glanced at the humans, and proceeded to sit there and scratch itself.

"Yes, Hilbert. Like that." Juniper knew the boy well enough to refrain from pointing out that any idiot could identify a Pokemon when they met one. "So, with the target in sight, you choose a Pokemon of your own and -" the professor paused as she reached for a Pokeball, digging around in the pockets of her lab coat. "That's odd. I could have sworn I had a Pokemon..."

Tommy, the mentally-disabled Oshawott, suddenly threw up, disturbing all humans present. But instead of Pokemon vomit, there was a little red-and-white ball, out of which burst a shivering, traumatized Minccino. From the look on Juniper's face, this was her Minccino.

"Are you ok?"

The Minccino whimpered and fell into the professor's arms, crying in fear and relief. Professor Juniper picked up the ball with a rubber glove on her hand, turned to the children, and sighed. "All right, here's the simple instructions: Find a Pokemon, battle it, and throw a ball at it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to take Minccino to the Accumula Town Pokemon Center. I'll wait for you there."

And she was off, running as fast as she could toward the next town, leaving the young ones behind. The three with obvious intelligence were each clutching the five little balls that the professor had given them, putting them in their bags for safekeeping. They were about to follow the professor to Accumula Town, but Bianca had an idea: "Why don't we have a little contest?"

"What kind of contest?" Cheren asked, mildly interested in this new development.

"A Pokemon-catching contest, of course. Whoever has the most Pokemon by the time we reach Accumula Town is the winner. Hilbert excluded, of course."

"I wanna catch Pokemon, too!" Hilbert whined, only to be silenced by his sister.

"You don't have any Pokeballs," Hilda reminded him, proud of herself. If she had to take the idiot along, it was best he -

Tommy suddenly upchucked again, spitting out five tiny Pokeballs that he must have snacked on back at the lab. Hilbert didn't seem to care as he pulled a bunch of napkins from his bag, scrubbed the balls of any gunk and scooped them all up in his arms, much to the disgust of his friends. "I do now."

Cheren, being the sane man of the group, decided it was best to ignore him. "All right. Let's start catching Pokemon."

* * *

Well, Erika had taken down three Patrats in practice battles, as well as help her trainer capture a small female Lillipup that refused a nickname. Tommy had been sent out to battle, once, too, but he spent the whole time eating grass. Nevertheless, Hilbert had caught a female Patrat of his own, who seemed to be pretty antisocial, or at least upset that she'd have to deal with Tommy. Erika could sympathize.

"I think you and Lillipup deserve a rest, don't you think?" Hilda asked happily, picking Erika off the ground. The green Pokemon made a happy little Snivy noise as Lillipup led the way off Route 1, headed for Accumula Town. The girl didn't care about the contest, as long as she got a Pokemon out of it.

"You've got two?" Bianca asked her when she'd arrived. "So do I! And so does Cheren!"

"I do, too!" Hilbert cheered, holding out a sleeping Tommy and a struggling Patrat. "Does that mean I win?"

Bianca blinked. "Uh, no. It's all a tie."

"Oh." Hilbert sniffled, but got over it quickly. "So, where did Professor Juniper want to meet us?"

Cheren grabbed Bianca by the wrist so she wouldn't get lost, and spoke to Hilda rather than her brother. "Accumula Town is right up here. She's waiting at the Pokemon Center, remember?"

* * *

The Minccino immediately returned to its ball as soon as it caught sight of Tommy, making a terrified noise along the way. After Juniper introduced the group to the town's nurse, the twins stepped outside as Lillipup and Erika were being healed up. Something strange was going on in the main square, and Cheren quickly dragged his friends up to watch.

"What's going on?" Hilbert asked, stunned at the amount of people in the area.

"And what's with the guy dressed like a castle?" Hilda continued, raising an eyebrow at the green-haired man in the ridiculous robe.

Cheren shrugged. "I don't know. But he looks important."

Hilda was itching to get back to her little buddies, but the castle-man spoke up at that moment, distracting her from her Snivy and Lillipup. Hilbert, on the other hand, was struggling to hold onto a wide-eyed Tommy, Patrat safely inside her ball as she figured it would be best to ignore people in general.

"My name is Ghetsis, and I am here representing Team Plasma," he said, staring down the crowd. "Today, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to speak to you about Pokemon liberation. Now, I'm sure you all have ideas about how Pokemon and humans are happy together and forever working in harmony. But, do you ever think that perhaps we humans are wrong in that belief?" At the silence of his audience, Ghetsis smirked. "Pokemon are subjected to the cruelty of their trainers, forced to engage in contests where they are beaten to an inch of their lives to amuse humans. This abuse, these Pokemon battles, are squashing the potential of your so-called friends. This is what we of Team Plasma are trying to put a stop to."

Hilda stuffed her fist in her mouth to stop her giggles. "So, basically, Team Plasma is PETA."

Tommy stared at Ghetsis, his huge eyes lit up like fireworks, drooling like the moron he was. "Osha Oshawott..." he muttered to himself, before he broke free of his trainer's arms and ran up to Ghetsis, latching onto his leg.

"See?" the man asked the crowd, seemingly oblivious to the Oshawott gnawing on his castle cosplay outfit. "This Oshawott believes I'm a hero. I'm sure your Pokemon will believe the same once you release them and let them do their thing."

Tommy responded by climbing to Ghetsis's head and biting down on it.

* * *

"That was weird," Hilbert said once Tommy had been sure that Ghetsis wasn't a lollipop and returned to his arms.

"You're telling me," Cheren said, pushing his glasses up. "Liberate Pokemon? They're our friends. My Tepig already seems to like me."

Hilda was suddenly ambushed by a streak of green and a small white blur, and she laughed as her Pokemon tackled her to the ground. "I see Nurse Joy did a great job on you," she giggled as Lillipup licked her face. She stood up and returned them both to their balls, the containers shrinking and allowing her to put them in her pockets.

"Excuse me, miss?"

Hilda looked up as the boys turned simultaneously. The speaker was a very good-looking young man, with shining gray eyes and long green hair. Hilda didn't know why, but she had a sudden, inappropriate desire to braid it. "Yes?" she said, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her shorts to keep them from reaching out and touching this stranger.

"Your Pokemon. Just now, it was saying..."

Cheren blinked. "Slow down. You talk to fast. And...what was that about Pokemon saying something?"

The boy looked at the others, seeming to notice that Hilda wasn't alone. "Oh. So you guys can't hear it, either. How sad." He adjusted his baseball cap and smiled, a bit less than before. "My name is N. It's nice to meet you."

Cheren was right, he did talk fast. It was all she could do to concentrate on understanding his speech and not touch his hair. Luckily, she had a friend who was both intelligent and resistant to pretty-boy charm.

"I'm Cheren, and these two are Hilbert and Hilda. We're on a trainer journey."

N's smile disappeared completely, and he seemed to be almost intimidating. "I see. So you're going to catch a lot of Pokemon, then?"

"That was the plan."

"Hm." N looked back at Hilbert and Tommy, who had released Patrat and were trying to get her to play with them. Patrat wasn't having any of it - she leapt from their arms and darted for the trees, only to be called back by Hilbert returning her to her ball. "I'm a Trainer, too, but I can't help wondering...are Pokemon really happy that way?"

Hilda looked away from his face, and immediately found her voice. "It's kind of an optional thing, you know. We give them the choice after capture, if they want to walk with us or ride in the balls."

"Really?" N looked surprised, but he quickly snapped out of it. "All right. Then, please, let me hear your Pokemon's voice again. Hilda, I challenge you to a battle."

Hilda got strange goose bumps at the sound of her name, but shook it off. "All right, N. I accept your challenge. What are the conditions?"

"One Pokemon each, first one out loses...the usual rules," he said with another of his playful grins. "Are you ready, Purrloin?" he called to a purple Pokemon, which immediately stood up and moved in front of him.

Hilda picked a ball at random, cheering up when she saw the leaf-shaped sticker. "Erika, do your best!"

The Snivy burst free of her ball, landing on the ground in front of her master with the typical smug smile. "Snivy!" she cried, and Hilda saw N return to his pure confusion. It was as if Erika's willingness to battle had surprised him for some reason...

"I hope you don't mind, but I'll start things off," he said, watching the grass snake carefully. "Purrloin, Scratch it!"

Erika jumped out of the way, but still managed to take a claw to the tail. Still, when Hilda ordered a Vine Whip, the little critter obeyed, smacking the purple kitten twice in the face. Purrloin scratched at her again, but another Vine Whip was enough to take it out. Hilda had been victorious, though Erika looked a little scruffy again. N scooped the kitty into his arms, glancing back only once to see Hilda celebrating the victory with her friends and Erika.

"That guy was weird," Cheren was saying, before he shrugged and turned to Hilda. "I'm heading off to Striaton City to challenge the Gym there. You want to come along?"

"I think I can make my way over there safely," she replied with a bright smile. "Later, Cheren!"

"See ya."

And he was gone, Tepig trotting along beside him.

* * *

N finished bandaging the Purrloin and smiled. It would be all better in a matter of hours. "Thank you for joining me."

"**Not a problem**," the cat replied around a yawn, slumping into the boy's lap. "**It's not every day that someone can understand what we're saying."**

"Did you understand the Snivy?"

"**Erika?**" the cat asked, and N nodded. "**Yeah. She said something about wanting to win for that human girl**."

"I know. That's what bugs me." N hadn't believed that there was friendship between humans and Pokemon, other than Team Plasma and the ones they'd rescued from abusive trainers. In all the years he'd spent perfecting his Dr. Dolittle-like talents, he'd never met a Pokemon that said nice things about their trainer. Even the Oshawott and Tepig seemed to have nothing against the boys...

"Did you speak to the children, N?"

N looked up, and squeaked as he saw Ghetsis approaching. That red monocle never failed to freak the boy out, though he'd learned to control his reactions to it. "The girl with the pink hat and her friends? Yes, I did. Their Pokemon said nice things about them."

Ghetsis froze for a split second. "They did?"

"Well, the Oshawott was an idiot, and the Patrat tried to escape no less than five times, but the Snivy and Lillipup actually seemed to like that girl." He shrugged as the Purrloin jumped from his arms, waiting for the adult to leave before continuing his conversation with N. "Maybe they're nice people."

Ghetsis hid his face in his hand. "You know how most humans are. They may start as innocent as they seem, but then the power the little creatures have warps their minds and causes them to go insane."

"These kids seemed different," N insisted. "Or, the girl did. I'm not sure about the boys."

"They're young. They'll snap soon enough." Ghetsis cleared his throat, and N swore he heard music starting to play. Oh no. He closed his eyes as Ghetsis started singing:

"_You think that they're trustworthy? I don't think so.  
__She's a trainer, she's not as nice as she seems.  
__Though her little 'buddies' seemed to like her  
__They're just too young to understand things..."_

N facepalmed. He'd thought he was done with the singing when he started this mission. He opened his mouth to speak, but Ghetsis cut him off with more lyrics.

"_I suppose I always knew this day was coming.  
__Knew you'd meet a girl and leave the nest.  
__But love is stupid -"_

N blinked. "Love?" he repeated, but Ghetsis held up a hand.

"_Silence, N.  
__Team Plasma knows best."_

The Purrloin rolled its eyes. "**Oh, boy**."

N couldn't agree more.

"_Team Plasma knows best, listen to my warning  
__There's evil lurking everywhere  
__Certain as the world goes on with its turning  
__Something will go wrong, I swear!_

"_Pokemon **want** to be freed from their prisons  
__Humans treat them just like slaves -"_

"I know, but -" N started, but he should have known better than to try to speak.

"_People don't get these creatures' true potential.  
__Don't try to talk while I'm still singing," _he warned suddenly, and the boy just hit his head against a tree in the hopes of knocking himself out. No such luck.

"_Ghetsis knows best, I know what I'm doing  
__Listen, here's what I suggest...  
__Help these children, make them see reason  
__Team Plasma knows best!_

"_Go ahead, get eaten by that Oshawott."_

N turned to stare. "What?"

"_Or would you like being stabbed and left for dead?  
__I'm just your advisor, what do I know?  
__I only took you in and raised you..._

"_Go ahead and leave, N, if you will it.  
__Leave our team one member short, just be my guest.  
__When it's too late, you'll see, just wait!  
__Team Plasma knows best!_

"_Ghetsis knows best, your talents here are **useful  
**__Out there, you'll get eaten up alive  
__Strange and immature, clumsy and too cheerful  
__Kid, just open up your eyes!"_

"I'm -"

"_They won't understand  
__They'll find you disturbing  
__Talking to their pets? So strange!  
__And if you believe  
__These children are so willing  
__Why don't you just wait and see then?_

"_You don't need human friends, you're fine just the way you are  
__All I have is one request..."_

Ghetsis paused. N wondered briefly if he'd lost the ability to finish a song, especially when the next letter to fall from his lips was the boy's name, spoken and not sung. "N?"

"Uh...yes?"

"Team Plasma is on a mission. Do your part, and nothing else."

A soft growl came from the young man's throat, but he didn't voice his complaint any further. Instead, he glanced up at the intimidating form of the man in front of him, sighed, and took a seat on a fallen tree. "Ok."

Ghetsis smiled a wicked smile, and finished his song. "_If you forget it...you'll regret it...PETA knows best_."

And he spun around, disappearing into the trees.

No sooner had he gotten out of earshot than the Purrloin fell over, howling with laughter, leaving the frustrated and humiliated boy to contemplate his mission, as well as wonder exactly when his life had turned into a Disney musical.


	3. Idiocy on Route 2

**Beware the forest gods.**

The twins headed off for Route 2 shortly after Hilda's battle with N. They both tried to forget anything that happened in Accumula Town, but it wasn't woring. At least, not until Hilbert started singing.

"My Tommy lies over the ocean," Hilbert sang, horribly off-key. "My Tommy lies over the sea! Will someone go over the ocean, and bring back my Tommy to me! Tommy, Tommy, bring back my Tommy to me, to me! Tommy, Tommy, bring back my Tommy to me!"

Hilda's eye twitched. "Hilbert, that's enough. We've only got one more mile before I can get my first badge, so will you just shut up?"

Hilbert's only response was to increase his volume, sending a flock of Pidove flying away.

"I have an idea," Hilda suggested as Lillipup shut Hilbert up by burying her sharp little toothies into the leg of his pants. "Why don't we have a competition? First one out of the forest wins."

"Forest?" Hilbert squeaked, his chocolate-colored eyes growing wide with terror. He looked around at the amount of trees surrounding the area and gulped, before throwing himself in his sister's path. "We can't go in there! The forest gods will eat us! They'll grind our bones for their bread, and don't get me started on what they'll do to our spleens!"

"The forest gods won't get you. I promise. And if one of us gets lost, the other will wait in the Pokemon Center." Hilda smiled, the picture of innocence. Hilbert saw right through it. "What do you say?"

"Ok. But promise you'll keep Lillipup in her ball. I think she thinks I'm a talking strip of bacon."

The little puppy barked in protest, jumping out of Hilda's arms to sit at her feet, glaring. But she had no problems being returned, and the two set off on separate paths.

As Hilda wandered, she thought about N. He'd seemed surprised when Erika had gleefully obeyed her every command. She wondered why that was. He'd said he was a trainer, so he had to have battled before. Right? Of course right. So why had Erika of all things surprised him?

More than that, why did Hilda want to braid his hair so badly?

_Allergies, _she told herself_. __I must be allergic to the hideous light of the day-star. It's not killing me, it's just making my brain go funny. Yeah, that's it. It's the sun._

As Hilbert wandered, he thought of home. He already missed his mother, and his nice, warm bed. He missed his TV, the food, the late-night Halloween movie fests with his sister, Cheren and Bianca. Hilda _loved _horror movies, and Cheren didn't care, but because the other two couldn't handle too much terror, they couldn't get anything higher than PG as a group.

Not that traveling was a bad thing. He still had his sister. He had Tommy and Patrat. And, if his plans could be put into action, he'd get N to be one of his best friends.

As they continued on their way, Hilbert and Tommy were all but lost on the tree-lined route. "Well Tommy," Hilbert started to say. "Looks like it's just you and me."

But when he turned around, Tommy was gone.

"Oh-no! The forest gods ate Tommy!" Hilbert yelled. "Why, forest gods, why? What did he do to you!?"

"Besides being stupid beond all compare?" a familiar voice asked.

Hilbert spun around, noticing the speaker had wandered around in a circle. "Hilda! Where did you come from?"

Hilda pointed left. "Behind that tree."

"How long were you there?"

"Long enough to know that these so-called 'forest gods' supposedly ate your Oshawott."

Hilbert got up in his sister's face. "Did you see them do it?"

"Um, no."

"Why not?"

"Because the 'forest gods' don't exist. Tommy just threw up a bunch of flowers and ran away." Hilda pointed again, this time to a pile of chewed-up petals on the ground.

"The forest gods puked up Tommy?"

"No, the flowers got puked up."

"The forest gods puked up flowers?"

"No! Tommy!"

"The flowers puked up Tommy?"

"No!"

"Then who puked?"

"Tommy!"

"That's impossible," Hilbert declared, adjusting his hat. "Tommy got eaten."

Hillda twiched. "Tommy never got eaten, Hilbert!"

Something rustled in the bushes, ending the siblings' ridiculous conversation. The rustle was quickly followed by a blue otter with a bright red face popping out and screaming in pain, followed by a purple kitten walking calmly out of the grass, saying its name sweetly as it saw the humans. Hilda immediately recognized it as a Purrloin, and man, was it _cute!_

"Aww! Aren't you adorable!" she cheered, scratching the purple kitten behind the ear. It purred happily under her touch, opening one eye to glance at Hilbert's bag. Erika stood protectively in front of it, giving the Purrloin a death glare she must have picked up from her trainer. Oh, well. Purrloin returned its attention to Hilda, rubbing its face against her hand in a further demand for attention, before doing the same to Hilbert's leg.

The Purrloin's happiness was cut off by Tommy's squeaks as he tugged on his trainer's pants, pointing at the kitten and then the scratch marks decorating his face. "You're saying that Purrloin did that to you?" Tommy nodded. "Well, what did you do to Purrloin?"

Tommy's response was in jumbled Oshawott-speak, and Hilbert wished that N was with them. He could have used a translator right about now.

The purple kitten licked Hilda's finger, decided she didn't taste very good, and turned to walk away, but stopped as it caught sight of the red-and-white ball in the human boy's hand. It considered its chances of getting free food if it stayed with them, and didn't protest as Hilbert tossed the ball at it, and it disappeared inside, sealed away. The ball shook twice, then clicked shut.

"Yay! I caught a Purrloin!" Hilbert cheered.

Hilda sighed and scanned it with her Pokedex. "She's not very strong," she warned him. "You'll want to try training her a bit more, just as much as you do with Tommy and Patrat."

"So Purrloin's a girl, too," Hilbert said, thinking it over. "I could give her a name...Lily or Madison or Mary. Maybe Paulina..." He shook his head. "Nah. I like her just the way she is."

And he hugged the Pokeball.

Hilda sighed and turned to Tommy. "How does it feel being the only male Pokemon so far?"

Tommy tilted his head in confusion. "Osha?"

* * *

"Hilbert! Hilda! Wait for me!"

They saw nothing out of the ordinary when Bianca ran over to them, barely stopping herself before she knocked them aside like a pair of bowling pins, and smiled at the two. "I was hoping I'd find you here!" she cheered. "Do you think we can have a battle, Hilda? I mean, since we're training, and all."

"I've got three Pokemon now!" Hilbert cheered, to his blond friend's annoyance. "I win the contest now, Bianca."

"The contest is over, Hilbert. It doesn't count anymore." She turned back to her other friend. "So, what do you think?"

"Um...I'm not really up for battling right now," Hilda tried to tell her. "Maybe next time."

"But I thought you wanted to get stronger? I know I do! Pretty please?"

"Try asking Cheren. I really need to get Lillipup to a Pokemon Center."

Bianca pouted. "But I was hoping to battle you."

"Your Oshawott's at a disadvantage, anyway," Hilda explained, trying to cheer her up. "Why don't you go and find Cheren, then, and play type advantage? I know he'll be impressed that you know your matchups."

That did cheer Bianca up. "Ok. Let's go find Cheren!"

Hilbert gave his sister a weird look. "I thought Bianca was gonna be your rival. Why did you sic her on Cheren?"

"Well...I guess all three of us are rivals. With each other. I think." She shook her head. "Look, why don't we just get Purrloin and Lillipup to a Pokemon center, ok?"

"Ok! Hey, do you think we'll bump into that N guy while we're there?"

Bianca blinked. "Who?"

Hilda sighed. "Some guy who talks way too fast and says stuff about Pokemon voices. He's the second strangest person I've talked to all day."

"Who's the first?" Hilbert asked. "The guy in the castle costume? You never actually spoke to him."

Hilda rolled her eyes. "Sure. The guy in the castle costume was _totally _the first strangest person."

* * *

"Striaton City," Bianca said happily as the trio passed the city limits. "Isn't it beautiful?"

It really was. Everything was bright and happy, even after dark. Hilda couldn't enjoy it as much as she should have, however - she was still trying to wrap her brain around the fact that she had actually gone two whole cities away from home in twelve hours. It was so weird. "Do you think the Gym's open?"

"Probably, but I think it's getting late. I want to find Cheren, battle him, and then get some sleep." Bianca adjusted her hat and smiled. "But first things first. Let's find the Pokemon Center!"

Of course, finding the Pokemon Center was so easy Hilbert could do it. One moment he was staring blankly around the city, and the next he was leading the girls into the building, running up to Nurse Joy with his Pokeballs in hand.

Bianca, however, saw another familiar face picking up his own Pokemon. "Hey, Cheren!" she called, waving happily.

The boy turned to look, and Hilda saw him smile just a little. "I was starting to wonder when you'd show up," he admitted, putting the Pokemon's containers away as he moved to sit next to the girls. "Even Hilda's a little late today."

"Well, I had him to deal with," she pointed out, indicating the boy talking to the nurse.

"That would slow anyone down," Cheren agreed, watching as Hilbert picked up the Pokemon and returned to the table.

Hilbert plunked down beside them, grinning happily. "Nurse Joy said that there's lots of places to eat in this city!" he cheered. "Who wants to go get dinner?"

That was when the Chosen Ones all realized how hungry they really were. Hilda smiled nervously. "Well, he's right. Let's go get some food!"

* * *

When she woke the next morning, something warm covering her entire head, Hilda was almost sure that the previous day had been a dream. A really weird dream, like the kind she got after a sugar crash. There was no way that she'd watched a guy dressed like a castle rant at people about freeing Pokemon, right? And that N guy...what kind of person outside of _Death Note _had a single letter as a name?

She yanked the blanket off her head, startled at the simple black and white room. This wasn't her room, this was the hotel part of the Pokemon Center in Striaton City.

The memories of last night returned at that moment. After eating and laughing and enjoying themselves while their Pokemon chowed down back at the Center, the four young trainers had broken into pairs and left. The boys would be sharing a room, as would the girls. Erika and Lillipup were piled in a heap by Hilda's bed, and Bianca's Oshawott was using her own Lillipup as a pillow.

Bianca snored a little and burrowed deeper under the blanket, but her sleep was soon to be interrupted by a chattering Hilbert...and a frustrated Cheren.

"Please," Cheren begged Hilda, not seeming to care that she was in her pajamas. "Take him away from me."

Hilbert reached up and patted his friend on the head. "Aww, come on, Cheren!" he laughed. "It wasn't that bad!"

"You were up all night talking about how much you hate man-eating Galvantula," Cheren growled.

"Nah - I just fell asleep talking about it and woke up talking about it." Hilbert's grin was nearly splitting his face in half, but he ignored Cheren for the moment, distracted by jumping on Bianca's bed. "Wakey wakey, Bianca!"

The blonde sat up, green eyes still half-shut. "Go _away_, Hilbert."

"But there's a whole day of battles ahead of us!" he whined. "Hilda's going to the Gym, and so am I."

"I've already earned my badge," Cheren declared, approaching Bianca's bed to show them his badge case. There, in the first slot, was a weird-looking thing, diamond-shaped pieces of green, red, and blue all in a row. "I suppose Bianca and I can battle while you get yours."

Bianca smiled and hugged him, apparently oblivious to the slight tinge of red that stained his face. "And you can help me get stronger so I can earn a badge, too! Thank you, Cheren!"

"Er...no problem." Once she'd let go, he adjusted his glasses, still blushing, and grabbed Hilbert by the back of the shirt. "Come on, let the girls get dressed in peace. Maybe I can re-teach you how to tie your shoes."


	4. Hilbert and Hilda vs the Bowtie Brothers

**I have mixed feelings about this chapter. On the one hand, it is barely less stupid than the last. We like Doctor Who and the Striaton brothers, so we tried combining them. And then we got a bit carried away.**

**On the other hand, bow ties are cool. Hilda's just being a jerk when she says otherwise.**

"The Striaton City Gym," Hilda declared, pulling her hat farther down in an attempt to block out more sunlight. She hated that big, firey ball of death, especially when it was before noon and she hadn't quite woken up yet. "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious."

Hilbert, on the other hand, was definitely a morning person. "What are you talking about?" he asked her. "It's just a Gym. Nothing scummy or villainous about it."

Hilda sighed. "Leave my quotes alone."

"Ok."

So saying, she opened the door to the Gym...only to find it looked much more like a restaurant than anything else. There were tables and chairs and waiters and everything. As she stared, mouth open like a half-dead Magikarp, one of the three waiters approached her. Everything about him was green - green hair, green eyes, big green bow tie.

He approached the twins casually, and Hilda closed her mouth to keep him from commenting on it. "Welcome," he said cheerfully, if a bit nervously. "Are you here for food, or for battle?"

"Battle," Hilda clarified, wondering where the stadium was.

"And, tell me, which Pokemon did you start out with?"

Tommy suddenly burst from his ball, passing the waiter in an attempt to get the food behind him. The twins both tried to stop him, but it was the red-haired waiter who managed to grab onto the struggling otter and keep it away from the delicious-looking meals. "Does this Oshawott belong to anybody?" he demanded, getting no reply other than Tommy attempting to eat his bright red bow tie. "Anyone? Five more seconds and it goes to my brother! Five...four...three..."

"Wait!" Hilbert called, attempting to hurdle a table to get to his otter. "That's my Pokemon! I made Professor Juniper give him to me!"

The redhead paused for a brief second, before handing Tommy over almost too quickly, not noticing the bow tie the critter was still om-nom-nom-ing. "Keep him under control, then," he insisted. "Half this Gym's income is from the restaurant, and I don't want him eating our stock. Or our clothing," he added, giving the otter a death glare to rival Hilda's as he yanked the bow tie from his mouth. "This is not fish fingers and custard. Or a banana. Bananas are party food."

Tommy burped in response.

The redhead shoved Hilbert toward the green-haired one. "This one's yours, Cilan."

Hilda snorted. "This is gonna be good."

* * *

Cilan led Hilbert to the battlefield, where the third waiter, wearing a blue bow tie matching the red and green ones worn by his brothers, took the place of referee. Not that Hilda needed a referee to tell her when her Pokemon lost the ability to battle, but maybe Gyms just worked that way.

Cilan seemed to be more than a little nervous at this, but he quickly explained that it was because Hilbert had been his first challenger in a while. The battle began immediately, starting with Hilbert sending out Tommy.

Cilan shook his head sadly. "Of course," he chuckled, holding out his own Pokeball. "I suppose we'll just have to demonstrate just how the Striaton Gym works. Allons-y!" he called, throwing the ball onto the stadium, releasing the Pokemon inside.

Hilbert didn't seem to notice that the Pansage clearly had the advantage. Or perhaps he did, and figured Tommy could pull off a victory anyway. "All right, Tommy! Use Water Gun!"

The stupid otter made a very, very unusual noise, similar to many horror-movie screams, before spitting as hard as he could at Pansage. The Pansage dodged the attack, of course, and prepared to launch an attack of its own. A short call of its name later, and Tommy had gotten whacked around by a Vine Whip.

Hilbert swallowed nervously. "Ok. Remember what we talked about, Tommy! Use Zap Cannon!"

Tommy nodded as if he could actually use Zap Cannon, and concentrated. His little paws clenched into fists, he squeezed his eyes shut, and he focused so hard that for a brief moment, Hilda and the Bowtie Brothers almost believed that the little idiot would defy all logic and actually pull it off.

Tommy let out a loud call of "Oshaaaaawoottttt!" before he fell over, unconscious.

The referee, who Hilda had heard was called Cress, hid his face in one hand while waving the other in Cilan's direction. "Tommy is unable to battle," he declared. "Gym Leader Cilan is the winner."

Hilbert sighed and recalled Tommy. "So much for the confusion code. Do I get another shot?" he asked, much to the brothers' amusement.

"Why not?" Cilan finally said. "I suppose I could use our Lillipup as a second option, if needed."

"All right!" Hilbert tossed out the other two Pokeballs, sending Purrloin and Patrat out to the battlefield. He looked them right in the eye, oblivious to the color draining from Cilan's face as he looked at the kitty. "I want one of you to help me get this badge," he told them. "Which one of you wants to fight?"

"Pick the Patrat," Cilan advised, squeakier than before. "The Purrloin looks, um, rather...underleveled. Maybe you could put it away for later?"

"Great idea! All right, Purrloin, go play with Hilda and Erika. Patrat and I are gonna finish this."

As Patrat stepped onto the battlefield, Pansage smirked. This one should be easy.

Of course, Patrat's IQ was at least sixty points higher than that of her trainer and his starter put together, so that was sure to be interesting.

"All right, Patrat! Let's start out with Bite!"

_At least he actually gave me an order I can follow_, the groundhog thought to herself, assuming attacking position once again. She briefly considered mutiny, but, deciding to obey Hilbert's command, she lunged across the field and bit Pansage on the ear.

"Shake it off!" Cilan commanded, trying hard not to look at the Purrloin on the girl's lap. Pansage tossed the Patrat off its ear, before using Vine Whip once more.

"Oh, no!" Hilbert wailed as Patrat hit the ground. "She's dead!"

"She's not dead," Cilan tried to reassure him. "Pokemon are built to take this. Tommy didn't die, after all."

"But how do you know we didn't push her too hard and kill her?"

Patrat just lay there, eyes open and ready to battle again as soon as she got the command, but the stupidity of the battling trainers all but ensured that this wouldn't be over unless she got up. So, with a sigh, she pushed herself into a standing position, ready to fight again.

"She's ok!" Hilbert cheered, though he knew so from the start. "Thank goodness! Now, Patrat, use Bite once again!"

Patrat sighed in relief. Again, he picked an attack that she actually knew. Lunging at Pansage once again, she bit him on the sprout-like tail. Unfortunately, another Vine Whip knocked her out, and Hilbert sniffled as if he were about to cry.

"But I don't have any more Pokemon beside the Purrloin you didn't want to fight!"

"Then I guess you don't get the Trio Badge."

"But I wanted my first badge!" Hilbert protested. Luckily, Hilda stepped in before anything could happen.

"I'll win badges for both of us," she promised, and Hilbert smiled as he called Patrat back to her ball. "But I think I need to train more before I take on these guys and their stupid bow ties."

"Bow ties are cool!" Cress protested. He adjusted his and gave her a small smile. "The Eleventh Doctor said so."

Hilda facepalmed. "Great. We're dealing with Whovians."

* * *

After a few hours of hard training and three trips to the Pokemon Center, Hilda opened the restaurant doors once more to see the Bowtie Brothers ready and waiting for her.

"Now which one will I battle?" Hilda asked herself, to the amusement of the Gym Leaders.

Cress smirked. "I don't think you'll be getting a choice, miss. It depends entirely on your choice of starter."

Hilda swallowed nervously. This was going to be more difficult than she'd anticipated. "All right. I picked Snivy, who do I get?"

Chili stepped forward, grinning widely. "You get me. I'm a Fire-type specialist. Think you and your Snivy can take me?"

"Bring it."

Chili laughed. "Fantastic!" he cheered, slipping into a clearly fake but not at all unimpressive British accent as he all but ran off to the battlefield. "Come on, Hilda! Let's go!"

The battlefield seemed to have been used in between the twins' battles, and there were scorch marks across the floor. This didn't bother Chili at all as he took his position and allowed Hilda to take hers.

"You've seen my brother's Pokemon, but mine's even hotter!" he declared, before throwing a ball. "I call Pansear!"

Hilda had been expecting this. "And I choose Lillipup!" she declared, letting the puppy bounce around as she tried to face her next opponent.

Chili opened the battle with a simple Fury Swipes, which stopped after merely two attacks because Lillpup had buried her sharp little toothies into its paw. The little puppy refused to let go until she was hit with an Incinerate, at which point she landed face-down on the field and looked way too much like Cousin Itt. But she wasn't out just yet, and came back stronger than ever.

The fight was close. Both competitors were nearly down, but finally, Lillpup emerged victorious.

"Good one," Chili complimented, recalling his Pansear. "Should we make this two-on-two?"

Hilda glanced behind her, and a tidal wave of panic crashed down on her. Hilbert and Tommy were gone, and she hadn't sent out Erika to babysit them. If her mother found out... "Only if absolutely necessary. I'm kind of in a hurry here. My brother went missing and I don't trust him on his own."

Chili sighed. "All right. Most Gyms don't do this, but you did beat my Pansear. Take the badge and stop your brother from destroying the place."

He handed her the same oddly-shaped shiny object that Cheren had shown her earlier, and then she ran off into the main restaurant.

To her relief, she immediately found Hilbert following Cilan around the place. Unfortunately, that relief was short-lived as she realized that Tommy was nowhere to be seen. "What happened to Tommy?"

"We're playing hide and seek!" Hilbert said happily. "Wanna help me find him?"

"Sure. The sooner we find him, the sooner we can get out of here."

The conversation was disrupted by the sound of a woman's scream. Hilbert grinned. "I think I know where he is."

Sure enough, Tommy had found the young lady's food and was unable to resist, and he did not take well to being returned. But it wasn't long until he and the rest of the group were at the Center, Lillipup nibbling on a treat. The twins had gotten the first badge, Cilan had promised he'd call some woman named Lenora and tell her _all_ about them, Cress had warned them to always count their shadows, whatever that meant, and everything was going to be fine. An ordinary brother-sister team on a normal adventure.

Or at least, so they thought. Little did they know that their adventure would in no way be ordinary.


	5. Bianca and the Dream Pokemon

**The moral of the day is: Piggy banks don't float. If they do, it's probably a weird-looking Psychic-type and should not be messed with.**

"Guys, I found this really cool place!"

Hilda looked up from the magazine she was reading to watch Bianca bounce around in excitement. "And where would that be?"

"Right outside of town. It's your kind of place, Hilda," she added cheerfully. "All ruins with lots of Pokemon, beautiful during the day and more than likely very creepy after dark."

Hilda looked back at her brother, who just stood up and stretched. "Well, if you wanna check it out, Hilda, we should probably get going right now. It's not like we'll be in Striaton City forever."

"Great!" Bianca cheered, grabbing her friends' hands. "Let's go!"

"I didn't say yes!" Hilda complained, but in their excitement they failed to pay attention.

* * *

The kids found themselves staring at the ruins of a place called the Dreamyard, which Bianca seemed far more excited about than either of her friends. That was nothing new, but she finally told them why she wanted to be there without even being asked.

"I've heard there's a new Pokemon in this area," she finally said, bouncing around happily. "That's why I really wanted to go."

"You could have just bribed us with that," Hilbert pointed out, wiggling past a tree blocking the entrance to the ruins.

"Doesn't matter, really," Hilda insisted as Bianca looked embarrassed. "We can still try to climb these walls like we're Spider-Man."

"Are you sure that's safe?"

"Probably not, but I was joking. Mostly."

"Hey, I found a floating piggy bank!" Hilbert called, bringing the girls' attention back to the real world. "I'm gonna steal it and see if there's any money in it!"

A cry that sounded way too much like a Pokemon cut through the air, and Hilda and Bianca arrived just in time to see Hilbert raise a pink, flower-patterned creature above his head.

"Piggy bank go smash!" he cheered.

"No!" the girls cried in unison, and he laughed and let it go.

"Relax," he told them with a dismissive hand gesture. "I wasn't really gonna do it. I may not be the sharpest spoon in the tool shed, or even near the tool shed, but I know piggy banks don't float."

The Pokemon sighed in relief and started to float away, but something seemed to distract it almost immediately. The kids saw it a second later - two people dressed up like knights, both with really bright red hair.

"There you are, Munna," one of them said, moving closer to the Pokemon. "Now we can take that Dream Mist."

Bianca stared at them for a few seconds, before turning to her friends. "Who are these people?" she asked, and Hilbert shrugged. Hilda, on the other hand, held up a hand for silence so she could concentrate. She knew she knew these people from somewhere...

"Were you guys in Accumula Town yesterday?" she asked, recognizing them at last.

The man just laughed. "Perhaps. Or perhaps it was one of our comerades. We are Team Plasma, and we battle day and night to liberate Pokmon from foolish humans."

Pokemon liberation. That's what those lunatics were talking about back there. "So what are you doing here?" Bianca asked them.

"Munna and its evolution, Musharna, emit a mysterious vapor called Dream Mist," the woman explained. "We're going to use that to make people want to release their Pokemon."

"So PETA has taken to brainwashing people?" Hilda asked, but the male Plasma person turned on her.

"We are _not _PETA!" he snapped. "We are an entirely different group. We aren't even working for the same cause, when you get down to it." With that being said, he turned back to the Munna, and angrily kicked it. "Go on, Munna!" he told it. "Make with the Dream Mist."

"Wait!" Bianca shrieked. "Aren't you Trainers, too? Why do you use Pokemon if you're just going to force everyone to release them?"

The female Plasma member smirked. "Because we win Pokemon battles and take Pokemon by force," she explained.

The man chuckled. "And while we're waiting for the Munna to give us the Dream Mist, we'll kill time and free your Pokemon from you!"

He took a step closer to Hilbert as the woman moved toward Hilda. Bianca gulped as her friends prepared to battle.

The fate of their Pokemon was on the line.

* * *

While their grunts were off gathering the Dream Mist, the Sages of Team Plasma had split up to set up bases all over Unova. Bronius was already through Nacrene City, but under Ghetsis's orders had kept moving. The man in the castle robe was leading his own troops, including the gifted child they had chosen to follow.

Or, rather, the child was supposed to be with them, but he'd gotten a bit distracted while trying to stop a battle between a wild Blitzle and Pidove, prompting both Pokemon to knock him into a river.

"What did I tell you, boy?" Ghetsis snapped, throwing a towel onto the wet teenager's head. "The wild ones don't need our assistance."

"But the Pidove was going to get hurt!" N objected, pulling the object off of his face so he could look the man in the eye. "They were fighting for the territory."

"That is their decision. We have no right to interfere with their decisions."

N thought back to the Snivy from Accumula Town, and how she had been so willing to fight for the girl. "What if they _want_ to stay with their trainers? Isn't that their decision, too?"

"Those Pokemon have been brainwashed," Ghetsis insisted. "The trainer lures them in with promises of food and this so-called friendship. The poor creature lets its guard down...and that's when they strike! Like a cobra." Silence. Ghetsis turned around to make sure the boy was still there, but he was already gone. "Darn it, N! Where did you run off to this time?"

He heard the boy's maniacal laughter from up ahead, proving he hadn't listened to a word Ghetsis had said. "I'm already halfway to Nacrene City!"

Ghetsis hid his face in his hand. "Some days I wonder why I didn't just leave him to the Krookodile," he muttered to himself.

A grunt approached him, rather nervously. "Do you require anything, Sage Ghetsis?"

"Coffee. And lots of it."

* * *

"I don't believe it!" the woman wailed. "We lost to children!"

"We're fifteen," Hilbert huffed. "We're not children, we're teenagers!" And to emphasize his point, he stuck out his tongue.

"Yeah, that's gonna convince them you're mature," Hilda sighed, her blue eyes looking up at the sky.

The man growled but returned his attention to the Munna. "Get on with it," he growled, kicking it again. The Munna cried out in pain, and a blinding flash illuminated the Dreamyard. And then, stepping out from the shadows was a familiar-looking man with green hair and the most ridiculous robe any of the children had ever seen.

"Ghetsis?" the Plasma grunts gasped in unison.

"Castle-man?" the twins chorused.

"A complete stranger?" Bianca squeaked.

"Osha, Oshawott?" Tommy said, which, unknown to the humans, meant something along the lines of "A giant strip of bacon?"

Ghetsis nodded. "You're all correct," he said. He pointed at Tommy. "Except you."

Tommy hung his head.

"What are you doing here?" the male grunt dared to ask.

"What are _you _doing, goofing off?" Ghetsis retaliated. Another Ghetsis appeared out of nowhere just like the first.

"We of Team Plasma are going to separate Pokemon from foolish humans," the second Ghetsis said, before merging completely with the first. It was a very, very cool trick, in Hilbert's opinion. "If you cannot fulfill your duties..."

The female grunt whimpered in fear. "This is bad," she squeaked, tugging her male counterpart away by the sleeve. "Ghetsis is angry! We'd better run."

"But the Dream Mist!" the man tried to protest, but she shook her head.

"Let's just get out of here...while we still can."

And, just like that, they were gone. And so was Ghetsis. And that Munna looked ridiculously proud of itself.

"What was that?" Bianca demanded. "They tried to steal our Pokemon, abused that poor Munna despite what they've been preaching at people, and then that Ghetsis person appeared out of nowhere and they just_ run away_?"

"I don't get it either," Hilbert said simply, calling Tommy back to his ball. "Who wants pie?"


	6. Team Plasma Strikes Back

**In which Cheren and Bianca have a baby.**

The journey to the next town began almost as soon as the twins had returned to Striaton City, and they met up with Cheren soon after. Bianca had stayed behind to catch a Munna of her own before taking on the Gym, but he'd agreed to travel with them for a while.

"Cheren, what's that thing?"

"That's the Day Care," he explained, noticing that Hilbert had questioned him about a building. "You leave your Pokemon with the couple, and they raise them for you."

"And what's that?" Hilbert asked again, pointing at another building.

"That, Hilbert, is a school. You went to one for years_."_

"Well, how was I supposed to know that? It's not like they have a big sign out front saying, 'Here is the school.' That would be _way_ too obvious."

Cheren and Hilda ignored his complaints, instead making plans for a movie marathon to celebrate somebody beating the Champion. However, the conversation was interrupted almost as soon as it began.

"Out of the way!"

Two Team Plasma grunts ran past, pushing past the three kids. They were followed quickly by Bianca and a little girl, who probably went to the kindergarten standing right next to the day care.

"Those meanies stole my Pokemon!" the girl cried when Hilda asked her what was wrong. "This lady said she'd help me, but they were too fast..."

"Well, we're faster than Bianca," Cheren promised her. "We'll get your Pokemon back."

"You will?" The little girl's eyes lit up. "Thank you, mister!"

"Just stay with Bianca," Cheren instructed. "We can handle this."

"Are you sure?" Hilda mocked, but her friend just tuned her out and started on his way.

"Heal your Pokemon quickly," he instructed. "I don't want to lose to thieves."

* * *

"Hilda?"

She sighed. "Yes, Hilbert?"

"Do you think they already gave the little girl's Pokemon to Castle-man?" Hilbert asked nervously.

"Let's hope not."

Cheren stood in front of a cave, waiting for his friends. He looked pretty determined for someone who just met the girl he was doing this for. It kind of reminded the twins of how Bianca's father used to get when his daughter got picked on when they were little. Who knew Cheren had a bit of overprotective dad in him?

Hilda came back to reality as the trio entered the cave. The thieves were waiting for someone, it seemed, and three were able to catch up with them easily.

"How did you find us?" one thief demanded.

Cheren scoffed. "We took three steps into a cave and there you were. It wasn't that hard."

The grunts shared a look before clearly deciding that taking down kids wouldn't be too difficult. After all, they decided, wouldn't that mean that they got to take their Pokemon, too?

And so it was that they were dragged into a battle.

* * *

"Why kids?" a grunt scoffed after even Hilbert had emerged victorious. "Why did it have to be kids?"

"Kids ruin everything," another grunt sighed. He handed Cheren a Pokeball. "Here. Take it, if you really want it."

Cheren said nothing, just glared at them. There was something downright creepy about his expression, though, especially with his glasses and the way he positioned his head, and the grunts whimpered and ran off.

"What a bother," Cheren said once they were gone. "Well, at least we managed to - _Tommy, I am not food_!" he suddenly shouted, glaring at the Oshawott that was gnawing on the leg of his pants. Tommy sniffled and hid behind Hilbert as Cheren returned to the original subject. "I'll return the Pokemon to the girl," he said. "Are you coming?"

"Of course," Hilda laughed. "I'm your sidekick on this mission, after all." She paused for a second, as if debating how to say something, before she reached up and messed with her friend's hair. "You know, I never realized this before. You and Bianca make great parents, Cheren."

Cheren put the girl's Pokeball in his pocket for safekeeping, just in case more Plasma people appeared out of nowhere and attacked them. "Do you really think so, Hilda?"

"Sure," she said happily, ignoring the fact that his tone was one reserved for telling people to go away in his most polite way possible. "Just wait until you have kids of your own."

"Cheren and Bianca are having a baby?" Hilbert gasped. "When did that happen?"

Cheren growled. "Hilbert...no."

"No what?"

"Never mind."

* * *

The girl was delighted to have her pet back, and she hugged all four of them as a thank-you. "Thank you all so much! Here, you can have these!"

And she handed each of them some Heal Balls as a present.

"These are really pretty," Hilda said with a smile, tossing one of the balls up in the air. "Thank you." She tossed it up again, only to squeak in surprise as it fell down, down, down...onto the head of a Blitzle, proud of its recent practice battle with a Purrloin. It cried out in surprise, but the ball clicked together, signifying its capture.

Hilda blinked, then shrugged and scanned it. Male, with Quick Attack, Tail Whip, Charge and Shock Wave. Not a bad accidental catch at all.

"Well, off to Nacrene City, I guess," Hilda said, picking up the ball and pretending she wasn't as confused as Hilbert after getting an A on a school report. "You guys coming?"

Cheren laughed. "I'll be leading the way," he said, and left his friends behind.

Hilbert didn't care, because he knew Cheren was always ahead of them all. "What are you going to call your new Pokemon, Hilda?"

"I don't know." She released her Blitzle, who looked just as confused about being captured as Hilda was about capturing him without trying. "I want your opinion on your name," she said. "I could give you a name like I did with Erika, who you'll meet later, or a name like Sparky, or I can just call you Blitzle. What do you want?"

Blitzle thought it over, then clicked his hoof against the ground three times. "No name, then?" He nodded, already starting to like this girl. "All right. Just like Lillipup."

Blitzle snorted and trotted up to his new trainer, already making plans to either help her with everything she asked or run away from her and trample that stupid pink ball she'd stuffed him in. Whichever he felt like doing in a few days, since at the moment he just wanted a nap.

Hilbert smiled obliviously, then suddenly frowned. "Hey, Hilda?"

"Yeah?"

"Where do babies come from?"

Hlda flinched. "You're fifteen years old and you don't know where babies come from?"

"Dad got arrested before he could give me the talk and I slept through the explanation the school gave us in health class. It's not my fault."

Hilda had a feeling that he was just doing this to humiliate her, but with Hilbert you could never be too sure. So, she looked around, realizing that both her friends and the little girl were gone, and decided answering the question herself was better than forcing it on her mother later. "Well, Hilbert, it's a long and complicated process involving a watermelon, a screwdriver, and a pair of sweaty socks..."


	7. The Twins Get to Nacrene City

**Ghetsis enjoys hearing about N's nightmares. Even if they're full of FerrisWheelshipping undertones.**

Ghetsis had always been a fan of coffee. The smell of the hot liquid always made him happy, and he wouldn't have come up with half of Team Plasma's plans if it weren't for its effects. At the moment, he was pouring himself a cup, being very careful not to get it on his robe.

"There's nothing like a cup of coffee to start the day," he muttered to himself, and prepared to take a sip. And then -

"Ghetsis!"

The castle-man jumped in surprise, spilling hot coffee all over himself as he spun around to face the person who had dared disturb him at such an important point in his morning routine. "Don't you know the meaning of the word 'coffee,' you little termite?" he demanded, and froze as he saw just who he was speaking to. Removing the cup from his head and pretending it didn't burn, he cleared his throat. "I mean, uh...yes, N?"

The boy just stared. "That was weird," he finally said.

"I'm sorry. The coffee hurt." His irritation still lingered, however, and he knew his robe would be coffee-stained for the rest of eternity. "What did you want?"

"I had a bad dream."

Ghetsis frowned. "I thought you loved bad dreams."

"This wasn't a normal bad dream," N insisted. "There wasn't a zombie apocalypse, or a Cofagrigus trying to eat me. This was a _nightmare."_

Ghetsis sighed. The boy had always been a bit off, it was true. He'd noticed the kid's interest in scary stories about the same time he'd noticed his talent for understanding Pokemon-speak. But then, N was being raised with a few Ghost-types at the time, so of course he'd picked up on their love of fear. "All right. This will be interesting." The man motioned for him to talk as he poured another cup of coffee.

"Ok, so, we were in Nacrene City, right?"

"We _are _in Nacrene City."

"And the girl from Accumula Town was there, too."

Ghetsis felt his eye twitch. "There is nothing scary about women. Some of them work with us."

"It wasn't her that scared me. I told her I was the king of Team Plasma."

Ghetsis nearly dropped his coffee again. "What?"

"Dream, remember?" N pointed out, watching as his advisor returned to his usual calm state. "And she said she was fine with it. And then she took off her clothes -"

Ghetsis shuddered. He knew where this was going. "Ew."

"And it turned out she was a living Barbie doll that wanted to use me for the male sacrifice to honor the Goddess of Shoes."

The older man nearly choked on his coffee as the sheer stupidity of the dream hit him. Of all the ridiculous things he'd heard come from the boy's mouth, this was one of the top ten. "Well, then. I reccommend you don't tell her your position, Your Highness. Or else she might sic the Shoe Goddess on you."

* * *

"Are we there yet?"

Hilbert couldn't believe he was the one in this position. After following Hilda down Route 3 all night asking the very same question, she'd turned the tables on him and now wouldn't shut up. He was beginning to understand just how hard he'd made her life over the past fifteen years.

"We will get there when we get there!" he snapped back, like he'd heard his mother do a million times. "Find something to entertain yourself."

"But it's so hard!" she whined, but he knew her expressions well. She was entertaining herself - by doing this. "There's nothing to do here except battle, and all my Pokemon are all tired out." She pouted. "I wanna go home."

"I thought you wanted to beat the Champion," Hilbert reminded her.

"I did. But I'm out of shape and my legs are tired."

Now that she'd brought it up, his own aching feet screamed in protest and he fell over, unable to ignore it any longer. Following his example, Tommy fell over as well.

"Is this the end?" Hilbert mumbled into the dirt, as his sister took a running leap over his fallen body, only to hit the ground herself. "It seems so. And I never got to taste a Casteliacone! Oh, what a world!"

"Oh, stop whining already," Hilda huffed. "We're almost there."

And there it was. The great, shining Nacrene City, welcoming the twins with a beautiful sunrise. Warm beds and real food awaited them all, and if it weren't for the fact that they were both exhausted beyond belief, they'd be running full speed toward the place.

Luckily, they had a friend on the other side.

"What took you guys?" Cheren demanded, grabbing each one by the wrist and attempting to drag them into town. It wasn't working too well. "You look like you were up all night."

"Tommy drooled on our sleeping bags," Hilda explained.

"And Hilda's seen too many horror movies," Hilbert finished. "She kept thinking a chainsaw maniac would pop out and murder everyone on the route."

The other boy shook his head and helped his friends to their feet. "Lay off the scary stories for a while, ok? I don't want you dead before one of us becomes Champion."

* * *

It was outside the Nacrene Gym when they saw him. That weird N kid from Accumula Town, stepping outside the building and nearly bumping into Hilbert as he did so.

He watched them carefully, trying to remember where he'd seen them before, and then he finally seemed to place them. "I see you made it," he said, watching as Tommy scampered up to Hilbert's head. "What were your names again?"

"Hilbert and Hilda," Hilbert announced. "And you're...what does the N stand for, anyway? Norbert?"

N flinched but didn't comment. "Why not?" he sighed, before turning back to Hilda. "Are you here to challenge the Gym?"

"Not right this second, but later," she admitted. "Hilbert wants to go first. What about you?"

"In a way."

Tommy suddenly jumped off Hilbert's head and onto N's, shocking all three humans. "Osha, Oshawott?" he asked the green-haired boy, who seemed to understand exactly what he was saying. Which was, in all actuality, **"Are you a girl?"**

"No, I'm not," N replied, as if it had been obvious to anyone what the Oshawott had said. "Now don't ask again."

Tommy hung his head but returned to the ground, plunking down on his trainer's shoe. "Osha..."

"Why don't you come and watch us battle?" Hilda offered. "I'm sure the Gym Leader won't mind."

"I'm sorry. I have other plans. Nothing of any importance to either of you, I'm sure, though I do hope I'm wrong."

"What kind of plans?" Hilbert asked, scooping Tommy up into his arms.

"Oh, nothing really. Just befriend a few more Pokemon, work for their freedom, summon the legendary Red-Eyes Black Dragon to be recognized as a powerful trainer and ruler of the world...that kind of thing."

"What was that last one?" Hilda demanded, but the young man just waved it away.

"Nothing of any importance, as I said. But maybe we'll be friends someday, anyway."

And he left, the humans and the Oshawott all confused. Hilbert shook his head and turned to his sister, who was watching N leave with a familiar look on her face. Hilbert blinked, then grinned.

"You like him, don't you, Hilda?"

She jumped at the sound of her name. "What? Absolutely not. I was just trying to remember what it was he'd said about a Red-Eyes Black Dragon."

"Uh-huh." But not even he was stupid enough to buy it. "You have the same expression you get whenever you're watching a TV special about the Elite Four and that Grimsley guy comes on. I know you, sis."

"I have no such face!"

"Sure you do. You're grinning like an idiot and your eyes are kinda crossed."

"Allergies."

Hilbert rolled his own eyes at the pitiful attempt at a cover-up. "Perfectly believable." He opened the door to the Gym. "Well, let's go. The badge awaits."


	8. Battle for the Basic Badge

**In which Tommy's thought process is revealed.**

"Hello!" a man in the museum said, looking up from arranging an exhibit as the two entered.

"Who is that guy?" Hilbert asked his sister.

"I don't know," she whispered back. "He looks like he's about to introduce himself, though."

Sure enough, he did. "I'm Hawes, and I'm the caretaker of the museum. Come with me."

Both reasonably curious, the twins followed Hawes through a tour of the museum. A huge Dragonite skeleton was Hilda's favorite, while Hilbert's attention was drawn to a shiny white rock on display in the far corner of the museum. Of course he'd go for the weird, unimportant shiny thing.

"Hilda, look! It's an egg!"

Hawes cleared his throat. "Actually, it's not an egg. We aren't exactly sure what it _is, _but we know enough about eggs to be confident that it's not going to hatch any time soon."

"Why do you display it, then?" Hilda asked. "If you don't know what it is?"

"We display it because it's pretty."

"I see." She returned to looking at the 'egg' for a few more seconds, before looking back up at the man. "Is there a Gym here, or did our friend lie to us?"

"No, your friend spoke the truth," Hawes stated, leading them to a library in the back of the museum. He pulled a book from a shelf and stood back as the shelf moved to reveal a secret passage. "In that room, my wife, the Gym Leader, is waiting for challengers. Do you think you can defeat her?"

"Of course. It might not be on my first try but I can do it."

Hawes only responded by opening the door. "You've got some challengers, dear," he called, letting the twins into the gym area. There stood a woman with the biggest hair Hilda had ever seen, organizing a collection of old and probably valuable objects. She looked up to see the people standing there, and put the last of the objects in its place.

"Hello, and welcome to the gym," she said. "I am Lenora, and I am the Gym Leader here."

Hilbert raised his hand, as if he were back in school. "Lenora, do you know Eggber back there? The shiny white rock? Are you _sure _it's not an egg? Because I know a thing or two about eggs -"

"No you don't," Hilda tried to protest, but Hilbert covered her mouth. She growled quietly, but she was unable to lick his hand like they both had been doing since childhood, at the risk of coming off as a weirdo.

"And it really looks like an egg to me," Hilbert finished, as if she hadn't spoken. "Do you know about eggs, Lenora?"

"Quite a bit, actually," the woman replied, removing the apron she'd been wearing to dust fossils. "And 'Eggber,' as you call it, fits none of the descriptions of a Pokemon Egg."

"Oh."

"Now, you're challengers, am I right?" Lenora pulled a Pokeball from her pocket. "Who's on first?"

* * *

"I can't believe I lost!" Hilbert whined as they started on the path to the outside of Pinwheel Forest to continue training.

Though Hilda could easily believe her brother's loss, she couldn't believe the strength of the Nacrene City Gym Leader. Though Lenora's Herdier had fallen to Tommy, that Watchog had destroyed the poor otter's chance almost immediately. And poor, poor Patrat never stood a chance against her evolved form...

"Maybe we just need more training," Hilda suggested. "Lenora may be strong, but strong doesn't mean undefeatable." She tossed out her three Pokeballs, letting Erika, Blitzle and Lillipup out to play. "All right, everybody. Hilbert and I need you now more than ever. You are among our only chances to get the Basic Badge and move on."

"Snivy!" Erika cheered, taking her position as the unofficial leader of the group. She barked something out in Pokemon-speak, what seemed to be long and complicated instructions. The others all agreed, and so the difficult training process began.

It was a long process, taking almost the whole day. But it didn't matter that she'd barely slept, or that she and her little buddies were getting tired. No, what mattered most to Hilda was when Erika started evolving.

It had caught them all off guard, even the grass snake herself. But no one made any move to stop it, and soon enough, the magic glowing stopped and there stood the new Servine, obviously surprised at the change.

"You're okay with that, right?" Hilda squeaked, and Erika made a delighted noise and practiced her Vine Whips on a nearby tree. "That's great! Maybe, if you want to, we can raise you to be a strong, beautiful Serperior..."

"Servine!" Erika agreed, turning her cunning brown eyes on Tommy. Half a second later, a whirlwind of leaves surrounded the Oshawott, much to Erika's satisfaction. Tommy, of course, was much less amused, and proceeded to Water Gun her in the face.

"Hey, leave each other alone!" Hilbert called, pulling his Oshawott off his sister's upgraded pet. Erika just flicked her tail in a dismissive gesture before returning to her ball, where she would likely coil up in a nice nap before her big challenge. The boy didn't notice as he scolded his starter: "Just because Erika does something mean, it doesn't mean you should be mean back. She's naturally vicious - takes after her trainer."

"That was uncalled for," Hilda stated, but put it aside for now. "I'm going to regret asking, but can I borrow Tommy?"

"Why?"

"Because I can command him a heck of a lot better than you can, and I'll give him right back." She made a pouty face. "Please?"

He glanced down at his Oshawott, who had taken to chewing on his own belly-shell. "Ok. But don't lose him. I don't want him wandering off into traffic."

* * *

"Herdier, come out!" Lenora yelled.

"Ok Tommy, I choose you!" Hilda called.

The two Pokemon burst from the balls and stared each other down. Even Tommy looked serious, which surprised Lenora. After all, she'd faced Tommy before.

"Tommy, use Water Gun!" Hilda commanded.

Tommy puffed out his chest and took a deep breath. He felt his saliva turn into pure water and silently cheered, and spit it at Herdier with all the force he could muster. The stream of water shot from his mouth and fell to the ground five inches in front of his body. Hilda facepalmed and flinched as Herdier moved in for a Bite.

"All right, Tommy, try using Aqua Jet instead!"

"Oshawott!" Tommy agreed, but his thoughts were a little messed up. A smart Pokemon would be thinking, _My temporary trainer wants me to use Aqua Jet. Well, she's got a badge, so I could probably do it for her._

But Tommy's thoughts were like this: ___Aqua Jet? Do I know that move? What if I **don't** know Aqua Jet? Wait...Aqua? Jet? Aqua is water, and a jet is an airplane! Water... plane... Hilbert!_

And he scrambled over to his original trainer and dug around in Hilbert's pockets, pleased when he seemed to find what he was looking for. A small plastic airplane straight from a cereal box, which he immediately poured half of Hilda's Fresh Water on.

_There. An Aqua Jet, _he thought, and threw it hard at Herdier. The force of the impact knocked the dog Pokemon out cold, sending Hilda into a fit of laughter that caused her to fall over.

"I take it back, Tommy," she choked out through her giggles. "You are not a waste of oxygen."

Lenora shook her head and recalled Herdier, knowing better than to ask the twins anything. "All right. I'm going to pretend I understood how that worked. But I still have another chance to win. I choose Watchog!"

The little...thing arrived on the field with a bright, flashing light, cheering its name happily. Tommy gulped. He remembered his prevoius loss, and he wasn't exactly willing to lose twice in the same day.

"It's all right, Tommy," Hilbert called from the sidelines. "You're the ultimate Oshawott! You can do it!"

Tommy nodded, and plucked the shell off his belly, ready to use it as a shield or weapon, whatever the need may be. Lenora, however, wasn't going to wait to let her opponent make the first move.

"Watchog, Retaliate!"

Hilda covered her eyes as Hilbert called his prized Pokemon's name. There was a loud crash, and sure enough, when Hilda peeked through her fingers, Tommy was lying unconscious on the ground.

"No! Tommy!" Hilbert wailed. "You were my only friend!"

Beside him, Patrat and Purrloin exchanged a look before disappearing back into their balls.

Hilda sighed. "Well, I guess it had to happen sometime." She pulled another ball from seemingly out of nowhere, this one pink instead of the red and white ones she used for Lillipup and Erika. "Ok, you're up next!"

Blitzle stomped his hoof on the ground as he was freed from his prison. It was his first important battle. He had to win this. And that included releasing a Shock Wave attack when Hilda commanded it. The Watchog collapsed on the ground, sparking like it had just stuck a fork in an outlet but still somehow able to battle. Lenora quickly ordered a Hypnosis, but the zebra dodged the beam easily and pulled off another Shock Wave before the Watchog fell over again, this time nearly down.

"Impressive choice," Lenora said, slightly impressed."But don't get too confident. Use Hypnosis again!"

The Watchog sent another Hypnosis beam at the poor little zebra, and he couldn't dodge in time. With her brother's Pokemon down and her own taking a snooze on the field, Hilda knew she was in a tight spot.

"Ok, then. Blitzle, come back!" Her sleeping Pokemon disappeared into his pretty pink ball, and she sent out her Servine to replace him. Watchog glared at Erika, who didn't seem to notice. "Erika, Leaf Tornado!"

One swirling green ministorm later, and Watchog was down. Hilda had earned herself another gym badge, one she'd share with her brother of course. She wanted to move on to the next town, and was known for getting anxious. Thankfully, Lenora immediately gave her the Basic Badge.

"Even though your victory over Herdier would have never worked in anything but a bad fanfic," she said, holding out the shiny purple rectangle, "in order to continue the plot, I suppose you have earned this. In an absolutely ridiculous way."

"Hey, I'm surprised Tommy managed to make any connection to anything," Hilda explained as she clicked the badge into its case. She gestured to the boy with her Lillipup in his arms. "Come on, Hilbert. Time to trade back."

"Lenora!" a panicked Hawes called, rushing into the Gym from the museum. "I'm sorry. I couldn't protect it..."

"Protect what?" Lenora asked, and the man pointed toward the doors.

"Team Plasma stole the dragon skull."


	9. Forests, Fossils and Fabulous Artists

**STORY FROM BEHIND THE SCENES: We originally couldn't agree on what to do with Burgh. My co-writer has a weird obsession with his pants(not him, just his pants, and his hair) and wanted to make jokes about it like the 'Hair Guy' from Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged. You know, like "My pants will guard the exit to Pinwheel Forest!" I told her no. So instead you get _this_ version of him...which may or may not have been inspired by the Pegasus of Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged.**

"The skull from the big Dragonite skeleton?" Hilda demanded as Lenora rushed off to chase down the thieves. At the man's confirmation, she stomped her foot like she'd seen countless tantrum-throwing girls do on TV. "No fair! I loved that skull!"

"So does Lenora," Hawes said, but he was interrupted by Hilbert rushing past.

They found him in the museum, sighing in relief that there was nothing else missing as he stared at the pretty white rock. "No need to fear, Hawes!" he cheered. "Eggber is still safe!"

"Who cares about Eggber?" Hilda snapped. "Eggber isn't important! We have to get that skull back!"

And she and her brother left Hawes to guard the museum, while they went to heal their Pokemon and give Tommy back to Hilbert, but yet another distraction was waiting for them, this one in the form of a man with a lot of fluffy brown hair and brightly-colored clothing, including amazingly ridiculous striped pants. He was apparently getting information on the theft from Lenora.

"Team Plasma?" he repeated, thinking back to see if he could remember hearing about them before. He knew there was something familiar about the neme, but he couldn't quite place it. "Not a very threatening name, is it? Kind of stupid, if you ask me. Still, with teams like Rocket and Galactic, they have to have broken some kind of rule."

"We have a bigger problem than the team's _name_," Lenora reminded him.

"Yes, yes, I remember." He glanced behind her, and, seeing the stunned kids, seemed to be struck with an idea. "But, like Teams Rocket and Galactic, perhaps we could use children to help defeat them?"

"Are you sure you're willing to put the fate of the world in _their_ hands?"

He shrugged hopelessly. "It was a suggestion, not a solution."

Lenora stepped aside to make introductions. "Hilbert, Hilda, this is Burgh. He's the Gym Leader in Castelia City."

Hilda raised an eyebrow. "What kind of a name is Burgh?"

"None of your business," the man huffed, before returning to Lenora sheepishly. "I'm sorry to waste time talking here, Lenora. After all, we have a skull to find. I'll take these little monsters to search the forest, you guard the other exit of the town."

"Good idea," Lenora agreed, and took off to the other end of Nacrene to find Team Plasma.

* * *

Once inside the main body of Pinwheel Forest, Burgh declared he would guard the exit and took off down the short path, instructing the kids to take the long way around and that he'd let them through when Team Plasma had been caught. Which, Hilda thought, was a bit of a jerk thing to do. After all, what were policemen for? But she understood when the strange Gym Leader informed her that the Castelia City police were busy there, and Nacrene's police force was searching their own city for the thieves. Still, he was a _Gym Leader_. Why didn't he let them guard the short path?

"Maybe he just needed a bathroom break," Hilbert suggested as they set off.

"I wish I got to take a bathroom break," Hilda huffed.

Hilbert pointed to his left. "You could go there."

Hilda followed his finger, then made a face when she saw that he was pointing at a tree. "Do I look like a Pokemon to you?"

"Not the tree! _Behind_ the tree."

Looking harder, she caught sight of a port-a-potty behind the tree he was pointing at. All expression slipped from her face. "I'd rather die."

"Well, don't die now! Burgh and Lenora and Hawes are all counting on us, and we can't let them down!"

"Right."

Her brother paid no attention to her sarcasm as he followed the trail, knowing she was just as devoted to the mission as he was. She did think the dragon skeleton was the best thing in the museum. She'd try to get it back.

Even if they had to go through several Team Plasma grunts like the one that just ambushed them.

* * *

"How many of these people are there?" Hilda whined as another recently-defeated Team Plasma grunt announced he didn't have the skull.

"You're only starting on beating us all, Girlie," he replied immediately, straightening out his knight costume. "You and that weird Gym Leader guy can't even hope to defeat all of us."

"Watch us."

"Hilda, there's hundreds of them," Hilbert pointed out. "Maybe we can't get it back."

"We have to, remember? You're the one who said that Burgh and Lenora and Hawes were all counting on us!"

"But that was back when I thought it would be easy!"

"And where is Burgh in all this?" Hilda demanded, glaring down the easy path where the Gym Leader stood. "Forget this, find the skull yourself. I'm going Pokemon hunting."

"You can't leave me alone! What about the forest gods?"

"Well, I have a mission from Professor Juniper, and I need to heal mine anyway. You just wait here and don't move, maybe your 'forest gods' won't get you."

And she left, off to capture new Pokemon to add to her team. Hilbert shuddered, but figured it would be a good idea to catch new little critters of his own. Smiling widely, he saw a little Sewaddle, curled up to sleep. It was such a cute little bug, and it looked easy enough to capture. He pulled a Pokeball out of his bag and took aim...only to find a Pidove swooping down and snatching his hat right off his head.

"Give that back!" Hilbert whined, running after the bird. The Pidove put the hat on its own head and flew off laughing, where it crashed into the tree the Sewaddle was sleeping under. The little caterpillar woke with a jump, noticed Hilbert, and scurried away, off to hide from the weird human boy that had wanted to catch it. The Pidove shook its head, flipping the baseball cap backwards, before flying away again. Forgetting his sister's warning, the boy gave chase.

Hilda returned to the spot a few moments later, and was surprisingly panicked to see her brother gone. What if he died? More importantly, what would her mother do to her if he died?

"All right, Lillipup," she sighed, sending out her first captured Pokemon. "Think you can sniff him out?"

* * *

"Come on, Pidove!" Hilbert called, searching the trees while Tommy, Patrat and Purrloin joined him by looking around the ground. "I just want my hat back. I won't hurt you."

He heard the bird's cry as it landed in a nearby tree, and it looked at him with wide yellow eyes as if challenging him to a battle. All right. If it insisted.

"Go get it, Purrloin!"

The kitten took her place in front of her trainer, meowing happily. The Pidove gulped and attacked with Gust, but Purrloin not only survived but lunged with Fury Swipes, nearly ripping the poor birdie to pieces before Hilbert threw the ball. It moved twice and clicked shut, the little thing trapped inside.

"Yay!" Hilbert cheered, waving the ball around and dancing. "I caught a Pidove! It's all thanks to you, Purrloin!" he cheered, holding out his arms to let the purple kitty hug him. He waited for a while, before he seemed to realize that she wasn't coming.

A Team Plasma operative had her, and the little kitty was struggling for her freedom.

* * *

"Hilbert!" Hilda called as her Pokemon searched beside her. "Hilbert, where are you? Did the forest gods eat you?"

No response. Erika made a quiet Servine-noise as she wondered if it was really a bad idea to just move on without him, but then Blitzle seemed to see something in the distance and took off, his little black-and-white body darting through the trees. He was determined, and fast - it was hard for any of the others to catch up with him. But, he did find Hilbert, using a Pidove against a Plasma minion, Purrloin hanging pitifully in the woman's grip. Catching sight of Hilda and the other Pokemon, she struggled again for her freedom, but the Plasma lady just held on tighter.

"Stop it!" Hilbert whined as his Pokemon meowed. "You're hurting her!"

"Oh, like you don't," the Plasma lady huffed. "What's a little pain to escape a stupid trainer?"

"I am not stupid! I'm just slow!" He glared harder at the woman. "Try Quick Attack, Pidove!"

Hilda was frozen in surprise. So Hilbert wasn't the complete dunderhead she'd come to know him as. The battle continued, Hilbert seeming to learn more by doing than he did by reading about it. Perhaps their mother should have sent them to a trainer's school when they were little...

"Fine then. Take your Purrloin," the woman said once she'd realized she lost. She set the purple creature down, but the knight costume protected her from Purrloin's claws. "I don't have the skull, so don't go asking for more."

"See, Hilda?" Hilbert said happily, pulling her Pokedex from her bag and scanning his Pidove with it. "I do so have a brain. I just don't use it much," he added, handing her back the Pokedex.

"But what about Striaton City? When you told Tommy, a Water-type, to use Zap Cannon?"

"I never said _Tommy _was smart. It was supposed to be a code for 'use any move you think you can,' but he forgot that part." He adjusted his hat and started off. "Come on! Eggber's waiting for its friend's head!"

* * *

Of course, the last Team Plasma grunt was hiding just out of Burgh's line of sight, but thankfully, Hilda managed to catch a Sewaddle of her own as she made her way through the forest, and with all of them together, he was defeated easily.

"And where were you guys?" Hilda demanded as the Nacrene and Castelia gym leaders arrived. "Was it really necessary to make us do all the hard work?"

"Not necessary, no," Lenora admitted. "But you could always use training."

"After all, we have to help children when we can," Burgh added. "You never know when the fate of the world will rest on their shoulders."

Hilda's eye twitched, but Hilbert just grinned. "I guess you don't, do you? Oh, well." Turning back to Lenora, he made sure the skull was safely in her hands before speaking again. "So, now that that's done, can I see Eggber one more time?"


	10. Lost in Castelia City

**Because some bridges just aren't worth crossing.**

"And we are out of Pinwheel Forest!" Hilda cheered, doing a little victory dance in the light of the gate's electric billboard. "We are free!"

"But the billboard says there's a bridge here," Hilbert pointed out. His sister's series of cartwheels ground to a halt, and she fell over onto the floor. "Don't worry! There might be a bathroom in here!"

"I could be so lucky," she grumbled, brushing dust off her white top. "I don't need a toilet half as much as I need a bed."

"Well, there's probably both in Castelia City. Come on, bridge is this way!"

Of course, said bridge was about seventeen miles long, and though neither twin was completely out of shape, neither was exactly what you'd call athletic. That was probably the reason their mom joined forces with Cheren and Bianca's moms when they convinced Professor Juniper to let them start a journey.

"So, this is Skyarrow Bridge?" Hilda asked.

Hilbert nodded. "Looks like it."

"I hate it."

And so the two began their long, long journey across the bridge, each of them hoping for a miracle.

* * *

"Made it," Hilda whimpered as she collapsed in a chair in the Pokemon Center. "I never want to look at another bridge again."

"Too bad," a familiar male voice interrupted, and Hilda looked up to see Cheren standing behind her. He smiled. "Unova's full of them, so you'll just have to deal with it."

"Hi, Cheren," she mumbled, before resting her head on the table. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Oh, don't be like that!" Bianca's voice cut through her mental fog. So the gang was all here...

"When did you guys get here?" Hilbert asked, much less sleepy than Hilda was.

"Two hours ago. What took you guys?"

"Big. Honking. Bridge," Hilda said to the table, unable to lift her head to talk to her friends.

"Get your head off the table," Bianca advised. "And Hilbert, share your caffeine supply."

"Gosh, Bianca," Hilbert said, putting the can of soda he was drinking next to his sister's head. "You sound just like my mom. 'Hilbert, clean your room. Hilbert, eat your vegetables. Get the straws out of your nose, you're not a Walrein.' Are you _sure_ you're not a parent?"

"Yeah. I'm sure." Bianca glanced back at Cheren. "Why don't we all go to bed? It's almost midnight, anyway. Everything else is closed."

Cheren called out his Pignite and instructed it to carry Hilda to the room she'd share with Bianca for the night, since the pair had thought ahead. "Come on, Hilbert. Try not to talk about weird things all night, will you?"

"No promises," Hilbert laughed, following his friend to their own room.

"I didn't expect any."

* * *

Cheren had called dibs on the gym the next morning, and that left the twins and Bianca to wait around as he tried to defeat Burgh. After about an hour, though, Hilbert grew bored. And when Hilbert grows bored, he takes others down with him.

"I spy with my little eye...something yellow."

"Wallpaper," the girls said together, neither looking up from the magazine they were sharing.

"How did you know?" He was impressed by the lack of attention they were paying, but that refused to stop him. "Ok. I spy something...yellow."

"Wallpaper."

"Yellow."

"Wallpaper."

"Blue."

"Tommy."

"Aha!" he cheered, confiscating their magazine. "I wasn't spying Tommy at all! It was Bianca's Dewott!"

"Dew?" said Pokemon said, surprised that the boy mentioned it.

Hilda sighed and stood up as Bianca recalled her otter. "I'm gonna check on Burgh and Cheren. You coming?"

"No, thanks," Bianca sighed, putting the magazine away. "I'm taking on a Gym Leader. I've got to train harder."

"I'll come," Hilbert announced, leading the way to the gym.

There they found Cheren, clicking his brand-new Insect Badge into his badge case. He seemed surprised to see his friends, but quickly realized that he should have expected it.

"That guy's tough," he informed them, putting the case back in his bag. "He doesn't like to be taken seriously, but it's better if you do anyway. He deserves his position."

"I'll keep that in mind," Hilda mumbled, but she wasn't thinking clearly as Cheren took off toward the Pokemon Center. Not one of her Pokemon had an advantage over Bug-types. How was she going to beat Burgh without...

The man followed his previous challenger out of the gym, spotted the twins, and sighed. "Of course," he said with a facepalm, before turning his furious green eyes on Hilbert and Hilda. "I get a notice that Team Plasma is in town, and who do I find waiting outside but the kids from Pinwheel Forest. You two are _magnets_ for trouble, do you know that? I'm starting to think that I should just ban you both from my gym to keep it from burning down."

"Team Plasma didn't follow us here," Hilda objected. "If they're here, they must have a base. Bases take time, and we got here last night. Therefore, we are not Team Plasma."

"I never said you were," he pointed out. "It's no good to point fingers. And, as likely as it is that you attract danger of all kinds, if you've survived _this_ long you have to have experience in preventing said danger. Help me take out PETA, and I will not ban you from my gym. Deal?"

"Team Plasma's not PETA," Hilbert said simply. "That guy in the Dreamyard told us that they have completely different goals."

Burgh waved it away. "If you say so."

And he was gone, leaving the teenagers behind him as he set out to search for the Pokemon-rights activists.

"We can always head over to the next gym," Hilda offered, but Hilbert shook his head.

"No way. We're already in town. Let's just help him out and you can get your Insect Badge." He grinned as the girl hung her head in defeat. "Oh, come on. The sooner you get eight badges, the sooner you can take on the Elite Four and Champion. Have you forgotten your Grimsley worship?"

"It's not worship! He's just a strong trainer that I happen to admire, that's all." With that statement, Hilda swung her bag over her shoulder and took off after the Gym Leader, once more leaving Hilbert in the dust.

* * *

They found Burgh on one of Castelia's many piers, with a sobbing Bianca and a girl with the most ridiculous hair Hilda had ever seen, giving even Lenora a run for her money. Big and purple, two pigtails shaped like fish while the rest of it hung down to her knees. She was trying to explain things to the Gym Leader with the weird pants, who looked more concerned than before.

"So, you're saying that Team Plasma actually stole this girl's Pokemon?"

"I tried to find them," the mysterious dark-skinned girl said, staring down at her pink shoes. "But they're just too fast, and the city's so big..."

Burgh glanced back at the kids, making plans for how to rescue Bianca's Pokemon. "Well, then, our search just got more desperate, didn't it? All right, let's start. Iris, you help this girl."

"I have a very important question," Hilbert said, waving his hand in the air like he was in school. "Where is Team Plasma?"

"If we knew that, we wouldn't be standing around here, would we?" Burgh said, hanging his head in defeat. "Iris is right. Finding Team Plasma in this city would be like finding a needle in a haystack."

As he spoke, a person wearing a costume closely resembling a medieval knight approached the group. The look of surprise on the man's face was a clear indicator that he had not expected to run into a Gym Leader, the kids that had kicked butt in the Dreamyard and the cave, and the fish-haired girl as well as Bianca.

"I just came to take...uh, save...another pokemon," he choked out. "But, since there's a Gym Leader here, I suppose I should just..."

And he turned and ran, much to Burgh's amusement. "Perhaps a bright red knitting needle," the Gym Leader corrected himself. "And an invisible haystack."

* * *

Burgh ran around town, peeking down every alley as he searched for the thieves, occasionally forgetting that he had assistants following him and taking off without them. Hilbert and Hilda watched as the man skidded to a halt and stared at something down one road in particular. Then the twins saw him charge, yelling something about the gym.

Hilbert grinned. "I think we found them."

And he took off after the gym leader with the ridiculous pants, Hilda the caboose of this little train. They found Burgh across the street from the gym, speaking with three Team Plasma grunts.

"It's no good," he said once the teenagers had caught up to him. "We'll have to battle them."

A grunt seemed to recognize the twins, and he turned to his friends. "That's the girl we saw in Accumula Town," he whispered rather loudly. "Our king has his eye on her."

"But he can't be allowed to go near her himself and get his hands dirty," another grunt whispered back. "All right, then. Here's the plan: I'll test her strength for the king, and you two can show off by taking on the Gym Leader."

"And the boy?"

"He's fair game."

Not one of the good guys bothered to point out that they could hear every word.

* * *

The grunts were easily defeated, Burgh taking on two of them with only his Dwebble and curb-stomping them in about two and a half minutes. Cheren hadn't lied: despite his personality and crazy pants, he was very, very deserving of his position. The grunts ran into the building, leaving the door wide open for the others (as well as Iris and Bianca, who seemed to show up out of nowhere) to follow. There they found an old man with a huge mustache talking to Ghetsis, both looking reasonably irritated at the arrival of the guards.

"Tell me, Bronius," Ghetsis said slowly, and the mustached man coughed nervously under his stare. "What possessed you to set up a base of operations right in front of a Pokemon Gym?"

"There is a perfectly good explanation," Bronius began, but the silence went on for so long that the intruders were all struggling to keep straight faces. Eventually the old man gave up and chuckled. "All right, there wasn't. I just thought it would be funny."

Ghetsis facepalmed before turning to the non-Plasma group. "I suppose you're the Gym Leader in this City. Burgh, is it?"

"Don't try to talk your way out of this," Burgh snapped, shocking all four children with just how dangerous he looked. "You took the blond one's Pokemon. Explanations are necessary."

"It seems you misunderstand," Ghetsis said. "You have minor trainers in your gym, correct? People who wish to work with Bug-types like yourself. Surely you would understand how difficult dealing with new recruits can be."

"I do understand," Burgh agreed. "But what I _don't_ understand is how instructions from one's boss could be misunderstood as 'Take any Pokemon you see.' That _was_ a misunderstanding, right?"

"Of course. Our only mission is to free Pokemon from foolish people."

"Is it now? I was there when you gave your speech at Accumula Town, and it struck me as if you were trying to strengthen the bonds between Pokemon and trainers even more...or free everybody's Pokemon with or without their consent, one or the other. Of course, I have been wrong once or twice, but you were responsible for making me rethink my relationship with my Pokemon."

Ghetsis stared at him. "You enjoy listening to yourself talk, don't you? But, I'll admit, you are a bit more intelligent than I expected." He turned to the grunts. "Well? What are you waiting for? Return the girl's Pokemon."

The grunt let go of the Munna, which floated up happily to Bianca. She threw her arms around it in joy.

"You never told me you caught a floating piggy bank," Hilbert huffed, but he, like the others, were distracted as Team Plasma left.

Iris turned to Burgh, fury in her pretty brown eyes. "You're just letting them go?" she demanded. "Why?"

"Well...we got Bianca's Pokemon back, didn't we? There's no need to chase them now." He squirmed a little under her stare, and turned to the twins and their blond friend. "As I promised, you are allowed in my gym. I'll see you later."

And he fled like a scared little Pidove, crossing the street as fast as he could.

Hilbert spoke the sentence that was on everybody's mind: "That was weird."


	11. Insect Attack!

**ALTERNATE CHAPTER TITLE: "A Sticky Situation."**

Ghetsis was highly annoyed with his fellow Team Plasma operatives. They were in a _meeting,_ for crying out loud! This was no time to be slacking! But his annoyance did nothing to help them focus. The other Sages were all dozing off, the Shadow Triad were having a 'duel to the death' with pens, the grunts were committing other generic acts of idiocy, and N was drawing something at the moment, but he _had_ been attempting to pin the sleeve of the castle robe to the meeting table with a paperclip. Such useless human beings...

Ghetsis stood up, attracting everyone's attention. "All right, we need a new plan. We aren't allowed in Castelia City anymore, so our previous mission is abandoned. Does anyone have a suggestion?"

N looked up from his doodle page to speak. "Well, we could -"

"No offense," Ghetsis said, giving the boy a look that clearly said 'shut up,' "but when have you ever come up with a plan that works?"

"Well, there was that one time with the coat hanger and the bar of soap, but I'm not allowed to mention that."

Ghetsis flinched as that one particular incident replayed in his memory. "You're just lucky that all my hair grew back," he growled, much to the boy's amusement.

The Sage named Rood returned to the real world, at least long enough to ask a question. "That was an incident never explained to us. How, exactly, did you manage to do it?"

"It's actually long and complicated story," N started, but was interrupted by Ghetsis once more.

"Plans, people. Pokemon aren't going to liberate themselves."

* * *

After the twins reached the decision that Hilda would earn the badge and Hilbert wouldn't even bother to try, she stared down the gym doors, knowing that inside the building waited a man with the power to defeat her. Erika was a Grass-type, weak against Bugs. Lillipup was a Normal-type, with normal power. Her newly-caught Sewaddle was part Grass-type herself and therefore weak to her own primary type. Blitzle alone was a good choice, with his Flame Charge attack, and she had no idea how long he'd last. She was doomed.

Unless...

"Hey, Hilbert. Can I borrow Pidove?"

"Why?"

"Because he's a Flying-type."

"So?"

"So he's good against bugs."

"Why?"

"Because shut up."

Hilbert thought it over, a strange expression on his face as he actually put his brain to use for once. "Well...ok. But only if you promise to evolve Tommy for me." He pouted. "He's the only one out of the four starters that hasn't evolved yet, and I think he was jealous of Bianca's Dewott."

"Servine..." Erika muttered, tail thunking against the ground. It wasn't that she minded sitting out of battles now and then, but there was a bit of irritation from being replaced by Tommy. There were some Pansear back in Pinwheel Forest, why couldn't Hilda go and catch one herself?

But it was decided, the temporary trades were made, and soon enough they found themselves in the strangest place either of them had ever set foot in. It was a giant beehive, with the walls making odd shapes and covered with honey, even more of the sticky stuff making up spare walls that blocked the path to the Gym Leader.

This journey was one weird freak show after another.

"Are we going to have to walk through?" Hilbert asked, poking a honey wall out of pure curiosity. It jiggled under his touch, and he stuck out his tongue to lick it.

Hilda yanked him away by the hood of his sweatshirt. "Don't eat it, Hilbert. You have no idea where it's been." Looking around, she caught sight of the man who carved names into the statue. "Is there a way for me to let Burgh know I'm here?" she asked him, and he shrugged and pointed to an intercom.

"Careful, though," he warned. "It might let other trainers know of your presence, and they might try to ambush you."

"I don't care." She adjusted her hat and pressed the intercom button. "Burgh, I know you're here. You may think these honey-wall-things are amusing, but I don't. I want to know a secret passage."

She heard a chuckle waiting to erupt behind the Gym Leader's next words. "That's my secret, little girl. Why should I be nicer to you than any other challenger?"

"Because I helped you retrieve the Dragon Skull, chase Team Plasma out of Castelia City, and if I get any of this honey stuck in my hair, I'll sue you and your Pokemon, too."

"Haven't you ever heard of a shower? It's an excellent invention, really, where -"

"Secret. Passage. Now."

There was a pause, and Hilbert hoped for Burgh's safety that he gave up the location of the secret passage without hesitation. Hilda could be very, very scary when she wanted - though she'd probably draw the line at murder, he wasn't entirely positive of that. Then, to the boy's relief, there was a response.

"Secret door by the statues."

Hilda smiled pleasantly, though Burgh couldn't see her. "Thank you."

* * *

The artist with the crazy pants was waiting for them, obviously, and clearly more than a little terrified of what would be going on in the battle. It was time to see if they could handle it. Hilbert led the Pokemon that weren't going to be used in the battle over to the side, where they could safely watch, and hugged the nearest one in anticipation. Unfortuately, that Pokemon happened to be Erika, who surprised him and the others by allowing it instead of Leaf Blade-ing him, as she would have done to nearly anyone else.

The challenge started with Whirlipede vs. Blitzle. Blitzle sparked in excitement, clicking his hoof against the ground, ready to take on this mutant thing and earn his trainer another badge. And Hilda had to admit, she was counting on Flame Charge to do mega damage and boost her little zebra's speed. The Whirlipede didn't seem to be concerned, though, and rolled across Burgh's side of the stadium and back as if to simply show off.

"Let's get straight to it," Burgh said, and immediately ordered a Poison Tail attack that the Blitzle jumped aside to avoid.

"Shock Wave!" Hilda commanded, and Blitzle let loose a burst of electricity that shot across the entire stadium, even affecting Hilda and Burgh to a degree - both minds likened it to the shock you get when grabbing a doorknob. Whirlipede, though, was affected more, and was knocked onto its side. Hilda smiled. "All right, now use Flame Charge!"

Hooves tapped the ground as the zebra-like Pokemon started a fire that surrounded him completely, before rushing at the struggling Whirlipede and sending it crashing into the wall. It was down, and Blitzle was cheering as he ran around Hilda's side.

Burgh sighed and recalled Whirlipede. "All right, Hilda. It seems I have underestimated you. Perhaps you'll find this one more of a challenge." He took out another ball. "Go! Dwebble!"

Hilbert tightened his grip on Erika as he watched, unaware that the poor Servine was starting to choke until she Vine Whipped his face, at which point he let her go and stood as far away from her as possible, holding onto Patrat instead. She didn't seem too happy, either, but at least Hilbert had learned that Pokemon don't like to be strangled. So, instead of struggling for her freedom, she hung there and suffered in silence, unable to see over the ridiculous clown that had stood in front of Hilbert to watch, unaware of the boy behind him.

Meanwhile, out on the field, Hilda faced a problem that she had to think to overcome. Dwebble was half Rock-type, which meant Flame Charge would be only half as effective on it as it was for Whirlipede.

But she did have a secret weapon.

"Blitzle, come back!" she commanded, returning the zebra to his ball. Still, she hesitated for a moment longer, deciding if she really wanted to do this, before heaving a sigh and calling out...

The ball burst open, but the Oshawott was nowhere in sight. Instead, Hilbert saw parts of a bigger, bluer Pokemon in his place, with two shells instead of just one. Patrat fell out of his arms and grumbled in Patrat-speak as she picked herself off the ground, but her trainer didn't seem to notice.

"That thing ate my Tommy!"

Hilda pretended to hit him with an invisible frying pan. "Idiot. That thing _is _your Tommy."

Looking harder, Hilbert could clearly see it was a Dewott now. He hadn't been sure, at first - clowns aren't transparent, after all. But that shape...the face...the fact that you could see the creature's brain sparking from Tommy using it wrong for the entire journey...

"But how did he evolve between battles?" he asked. "I didn't think that was possible."

Hilda looked down at her Lillipup, who had broken out of her ball and started playing with Erika. "I know how. Lillipup has the Pickup ability - she must have given him a Rare Candy she found, and that triggered an evolution when he ate it."

But something else was different about Tommy. It seemed that his evolution triggered a chemical reaction in his brain, giving the mentally handicapped otter a slight boost in intelligence. He'd never be a genius, but at least he seemed to be closer to normal intelligence than he was before. With any luck, he'd be almost as smart as Hilbert by the time he became a Samurott.

Tommy plucked the shells off his legs, ready to fight for the siblings' third badge. After a quick Pokedex scan, she smiled. "All right, Tommy! Use Razor Shell!"

"Dewott!" Tommy agreed, swinging the lightsaber-like shells at Dwebble. The crab-like Pokemon tried to scurry out of the way, but Tommy moved fast. Unfortunately for Hilda, Dwebble survived the attack.

Burgh, of course, was delighted. Brushing aside his happiness, however, he called for a Smack Down.

Tommy took the hit, obviously - he couldn't move out of the way in time. But, like Dwebble before him, he stayed up enough to take orders for an Aqua Jet attack...and this time he didn't throw a stupid toy. Nope, he actually did the move correctly, landing a perfect hit and knocking Dwebble out.

Burgh didn't seem uncomfortable with this, though. "It seems I have underestimated you again. But this match is far from over - time to call my last Pokemon!"

"You really do like listening to yourself talk, don't you?" Hilbert asked him, but it went ignored. The battle was still going on, after all.

The Pokemon that Burgh had saved for last was a Leavanny, a weird-looking creature that Hilda immediately adored. She had a Sewaddle, she reminded herself. She'd just train it well and it would evolve. For now, it was time to take this one down. "Tommy, use Tackle!"

"Leavanny, Protect!"

Tommy rushed toward the giant bug, bouncing off Protect's barrier...and landing unconscious by his temporary trainer's feet.

From her position in the audience, Erika wondered why these battles were so stupid.

Hilda recalled the otter with a sigh, knowing Tommy's intelligence was too good to last. But, luckily, she still had the other Pokemon Hilbert had lent her. "Come on out, Pidove!" she called, hoping that not all of her brother's male Pokemon would be like Tommy. Pidove didn't seem too bright, but then, his kind usually weren't._ At least they understand proper commands, _she thought, fighting back another laugh as she remembered when she borrowed Tommy for the Nacrene Gym. But it was time to focus.

"Use Air Cutter!"

With several repeats of the Flying-type move, Hilda was positive that she'd win. And then Burgh brought out that darned Hyper Potion.

"What's the matter?" he taunted, seeing her start to get angry. "It isn't against the rules, you know. It's not like I used a Revive on my Dwebble..."

Hilda's eye twitched. "Forget it. Pidove, Quick Attack!"

It was a close call, but Leavanny eventually defeated Pidove. It was down to Blitzle now.

It was a good thing for the double weakness to Fire.

* * *

The sun was shining brightly through the windows, reflecting off the bright green badge in Burgh's hands. He handed it to Hilda with a smile, and that scared her a little.

However, the creepy smile was not nearly as bad as his stupid bug puns.

"It's the Insect Badge," he cheered, and she recoiled a bit. "It's insectible - I mean, incredible," he added, catching sight of the dangerous look on both faces. "Incredible. That's what I meant. Anyway, I have a teeny, tiny little favor to ask of you two."

"Yeah?"

"Could you not take the secret passage on the way out? It's entertaining to watch challengers get worked up, you see, and there's nothing quite like honey walls to do it. So, if you don't mind..."

Hilda thought about just ignoring those orders, but then she had an idea. "All right, Burgh," she said sweetly. "I'll take the honey-coated way through."

And she picked Tommy off the ground, holding him to the nearest honey-wall, where he proceeded to start gobbling up the entire block of sticky bug food. She smiled at Burgh's disbelieving expression, and Hilbert tried and failed to disguise a laugh as a cough.

"On second thought," Burgh decided, watching Tommy go to town on the hardened honey, "why don't you just take the passage? It's much easier."

"I thought you might say that," Hilda replied, recalling Tommy. "Any other requests?"

"Well, now that you mention it...if you're heading up to Nimbasa City next, could you please tell Elesa that I'm sorry?"

"For what?" Hilbert asked, curiosity once again getting the better of him.

"She'll know."

And he waved as they walked away, ready to continue on their quest of sheer lunacy. What did fate have in store for the twins next? Only time will tell...


	12. The Desert of Doom

**It's not stalking if they don't know you're there. Then it's just following in a creepy and illegal way.**

"Hey, wait up!"

The twins looked behind them, neither surprised to see Bianca heading toward them, running as fast as that long skirt would let her. She caught up to them at the gate leading out to the next route, a bit out of breath but not too bad. "You don't want to go out there," she panted, pointing dramatically toward the other door.

"Why not?" Hilbert asked, oblivious as usual.

"Because, Hilbert," Bianca replied, pulling her Town Map from her bag. It had become quite dirty from sitting there unused, but at least hers hadn't been eaten by an Oshawott. She pointed to the route they were just about to head out on. "This place here? It's a desert. A place with nothing but sand as far as the eye can see. The only way out is through it, and you have to get through a blinding sandstorm to make it. It is," she paused dramatically, "the desert of doom."

The three teens were silent for a moment, before Hilda laughed out loud.

"Build it up more next time," she advised. "If there are cameras following us and making this a documentary, you have to work on your drama."

Bianca smiled a little. "Well, thank you for the acting lesson, but I really came over here to challenge one of you to a battle. What do you say?"

Hilda shrugged. "A battle could be fun. And it'll help you get stronger for your battle with Burgh, if you haven't had it already."

And so Hilbert left to head out toward the desert, leaving Hilda and Bianca to their match. He'd wait for them - he could talk to Cheren in the meantime.

"Where's your sister?" Cheren asked him when he approached, after the hellos were said.

"Battling Bianca." The boy in the red hat sat down on the road, covering his face with said hat. "I'm just waiting for them."

"So am I."

Hilbert pulled his hat off his face, looking up at his four-eyed friend. "You're not stalking Hilda, are you?"

"I'm her friend. It's my job to help her get stronger, and she helps me."

"So you're stalking her."

"I'm not stalking her!"

Hilbert paid no attention. "You're her friend. If you want to be her boyfriend, just tell her already. Though, I have to say, you might have a little competition...not to mention that if you ever break her heart, I'll eat your flesh."

"I don't like Hilda. Not like that, anyway." Cheren thought about it, then almost laughed. "It was a very creative threat, though. Why don't you pass it on to my 'competition,' instead."

"Ok!" Hilbert cheered. He returned the hat to his face just to snatch it off again mere seconds later, staring at Cheren. "Wanna battle?"

The other boy paused. This wasn't quite like he'd expected. But, he decided, it wasn't too different. "All right. Pick your Pokemon."

* * *

As Bianca went back to Pinwheel Forest to train, Hilda healed her Pokemon and ran ahead, hoping Hilbert hadn't wandered off. She found him clinging to Cheren, poking him with a plastic fork. Noticing how her friend seemed to be ready to send out Pignite and torch Hilbert, she intervened before either of them could sustain any life-threatening injuries.

"What's wrong now?"

"Cheren knocked out all my Pokemon," Hilbert explained. "So now I'm eating his flesh."

Hilda facepalmed. "Idiot." Pulling her brother off her friend, she handed him four Revives. "I expected something like this, though, so I bought as many of these as I could afford. Which, by the way, is not very much - this stuff is expensive."

As Hilbert used them and promised he'd pay her back, the others were distracted by Cheren's tranciever going off. Professor Juniper had managed to contact him, and fortunately, Hilda was there, too.

"Are you kids doing all right?" she asked, surprised when she saw three faces on Cheren's.

"We're fine," Hilda and Cheren chorused, and Hilbert held out his Dewott happily.

"Look, Professor! Tommy evolved, and he got smarter, too! Well, I say _smarter_..."

Tommy burped loudly.

"Excellent." But the professor's attention span was very limited, as she clearly had some research to be doing. "Where's Bianca? I called her, too, but she can't be reached..."

"Maybe she's battling Burgh and all the honey is affecting her tranceiver," Cheren suggested. "Weirder things have happened."

Professor Juniper sighed. "I suppose I'll just have to wait for her. As it is, though, could the three of you meet me at the gate to Nimbasa City? I have presents for you all."

"Will there be cake?" Hilbert asked her, brown eyes lighting up like fireworks.

"No," Juniper said, and shut off communications before she could see his face fall.

* * *

"I caught my fifth Pokemon!" Hilbert cheered, waving around a pink Heal Ball. He snatched Hilda's Pokedex from her bag to scan his new catch, revealing the Pokemon to be a female Sandile. "Think she'll be useful?"

"Possibly." Hilda trudged along through the sand, trying to be oblivious to her brother's cheerfulness as he shoved the device back into her bag. She was trying to focus more on training than capturing, since she had no idea what she'd be up against next, but it was probably a good thing Hilbert caught Sandile. The two did share Pokemon depending on the other's needs - she would willingly offer Sewaddle and even Erika, should he need a Grass or Bug-type for anything. She trusted him to babysit.

However, she did not trust him to be away from her for very long, and so spent the rest of the way to the opposite gate dragging him behind her, trying to keep from losing him in the sandstorm.

* * *

N had not expected to see the twins after Nacrene City, but it was unavoidable. He really should have seen it coming - after all, they were the ones who chased Ghetsis and Bronius out of Castelia City. Still, he'd kind of hoped that the Bug trainer had been a bit more difficult to defeat than they'd expected. At the very least, it would keep them from interfering too much more.

The Sandile he'd recently befriended watched them from behind a rock, laughing a little. **"These are the kids you're worried about?"** he asked, lifting his mouth out of the sand to speak. **"They're, what, thirteen? How can mere children stop a group like Team Plasma?"**

"You'd be surprised," N replied, as if it wasn't weird at all to be talking to a Pokemon. It wasn't, really, since a lot of people did it. Having a full conversation, however, was truly rare. "Haven't you ever heard of Team Galactic?"

**"Can't say I have. I don't bother with humans much."**

"Lucky you."

**"Any particular reason you're convinced it's these people that are destined to defeat you?" **Scraggy asked, hopping up on a rock of his own.**"You could be wasting your time stalking other kids, you know."**

"It's not stalking, it's observing at a safe distance." Despite what the Sages believed, as well as the various humans he'd accidentally met on his travels, he did know a bit more about human nature than he let on. After all, his childhood friends knew too well what humans were like, and taught him a few of the things Ghetsis never bothered to explain. Cruelty was what he understood most of all, but he did comprehend that 'stalking' (that is, following someone purposely without their consent) was a bad thing that would probably get you thrown in jail. And getting thrown in jail would definitely take precious time out of his plan.

Unfortunately, his new friends knew better. **"And what have your observations taught you?"** Sigilyph teased, taking great pleasure in the boy's discomfort.

"I never said I kept a _constant_ eye on them," he finally stated, before leading his new friends through the sand.

* * *

Professor Juniper didn't seem to care much that she'd just sent kids through a sandstorm, since there were no visible injuries and they had all trained their Pokemon on the trip, Hilbert even catching Sandile. She was waiting for them at the gate, as she promised, with a bunch of Ultra Balls for the kids.

"I'm glad to hear you're all enjoying your trip," she said when they finished speaking. "That's part of the reason I picked Cheren and Hilda for the project. And Hilbert seems to be coming down to earth rather nicely. Perhaps I should have considered allowing him to go on this journey from the start..."

"I like chocolate milk!" Hilbert declared, and the professor immediately changed her mind.

"I thought you said you had a brain," Hilda whined.

"I do," Hilbert stated, holding out his hands in surrender. "It's just that sometimes, it tells me to say things, just to say things."

Juniper focused on Cheren, sensing he was the only sane man. "Anyway, I hope you enjoy yourselves," she said with a smile. "Don't forget that capturing Pokemon is only part of your mission. Becoming friends with them is far more important."

And she was gone, off to find Bianca.

Hilbert smiled and turned to Hilda. "So...can we go get chocolate milk now?"


	13. How Ferriswheelshipping Got Its Name

**You know how I said we were going to start taking it seriously around the Ferris wheel scene? I lied. And there are no regrets.**

**This song was written in about five minutes, mostly by me, as a parody of the REPRISE of "Mother Knows Best."(Come on, don't tell me you didn't expect us to do the first one and not the second) Don't expect anything too much different than the original, though.**

No sooner had Hilbert and Hilda set foot into Nimbasa City, ready to find and challenge the next Gym Leader, as well as pass on Burgh's cryptic apology, than they bumped into two Team Plasma members, yelling at an old man.

"Do you really think that it's a good idea to keep Pokemon in captivity?" one of them growled, obviously scaring the man.

"We take good care of them!" the man protested. "What kind of monsters do you take us for?"

The grunt opened his mouth to argue, but the second one caught sight of the siblings and rushed toward them. "You kids!" he growled. "You were the ones that helped the Gym Leader with the weird pants kick us out of Castelia!"

The other seemed to recognize them, too. "And you're the ones who came with the blonde to the Dreamyard!"

Hilbert thought back. "Huh. I guess we do get tangled up in your plans a lot." He shrugged. "We don't mean to."

"Yeah, well, sometimes you do things unintentionally that turn out to be unforgivable." The grunt pulled a Pokeball from his pocket. "Now, battle me!"

Hilda sighed. "You have got to be kidding me..."

* * *

N almost didn't recognize Ghetsis when he arrived. The man was wearing normal clothes for once, a nice black suit and a regular eye patch instead of the ridiculous castle robe and weird monocle. Of course, it would have been bad for the mission if N had been seen talking to the face of Team Plasma...

"What are you doing here?"

Ghetsis waved his hand dismissively. "I was worried about you," he said simply. "Is that a crime? And, of course, I wanted to see how our mission was coming along."

"Which mission?" N asked carefully, knowing he'd failed at both. How he, the perfect savior of Pokemon, could possibly fail at convincing two children to release theirs was a complete mystery. But, perhaps, if he could get the two to join Team Plasma, it would not only prevent them from destroying the plans but have them help out, too...

"The one where I told you to dispose of the children."

Yeah. That was the mission he was talking about, all right. "Well, you see, 'dispose' is such a strong word," N started. "And it's probably not a good idea to _kill_ people if we want to be recognized as the good guys. So, maybe we could sway them to our side instead?"

Ghetsis stared.

N gulped.

Ghetsis stared.

N considered running away.

Ghetsis stared. "N," he finally stated, "these...young people, are no more than mindless servants of Professor Juniper and her colleagues, minions of evil. They're trying to _stop us."_

"I don't really think that's it. They seem to have Pokemon's best interests in mind, too. They're just lacking the ability to understand what their friends want."

"You're speaking as if you know them."

"I don't. But I will." N had always been confident when speaking of the future, for reasons only Rood truly knew. "And, you know, I'm going to offer them the chance anyway."

"No!" The fury in Ghetsis's voice startled the boy, and the fear was plain to see on his face. This was not the face he wanted for a king, and Ghetsis immediately regretted losing his temper. He hid his face in his hand, anger disappearing as quickly as it had come. "Great. Now I'm the bad guy."

N moved on quickly, trying to make his point before he could get yelled at again. "I'm not saying that they're convincing me that Team Plasma's ideals are what's bad. Not at all. I'm just saying that I like them, and maybe they'll start to like me..."

"Like you?" Ghetsis repeated, making the boy immediately regret speaking. Not by his expression, or the absolute coldness in his voice, but by the return of the spontaneous music. "Come on, N, that's demented."

"I don't -"

"_This is why you never should have left.  
__This fairy-tale friendship you've invented  
__Just proves you're not ready to be out here."_

"Again with the music?"

"_Why would they like someone like you, boy?  
__Do you really think they're that impressed?  
__Don't be a dummy!  
__Do what's crummy!  
__Team Plasma -"_

"No!" This interruption was much louder, more 'shut up,' than N had dreamed he was capable of. And yet, instead of sounding like a rebellious teenager attempting to do things on his own, he sounded more like a kindergartener throwing a fit over bedtime.

It certainly did get the man to stop singing, however. "No?" Ghetsis repeated, his one red eye narrowing. "Oh. I see how it is."

N sighed in relief. Apparently, he'd finally passed on the message that he wanted the singing to -

"_So the boy knows best  
__He thinks he's so mature now  
__He thinks he's found some human friends._

_"So the boy knows best?  
__Fine, if you're so sure now  
__But I know how this story ends."_

He should have known better.

"_They're here to foil us!  
__Don't let them decieve you!  
__But if you still think they're safe, you'll see  
__Tell them who you are, and your 'friends' will up and leave you  
__And I won't say I told you so!_

_"So the boy knows best?  
__Well then, if the girl's so perfect  
__Why don't you put her to the test?  
__No denying, you'll come crying...  
__Team Plasma knows best!"_

And, in a pretty impressive move for someone without a dramatic cape, Ghetsis whirled around and disappeared, into the bustling streets of Nimbasa. N felt the beginning of a huge headache, but couldn't do much about it.

He had a point to prove. And, more importantly, a Ferris wheel to ride.

* * *

"Why children?" the Plamsa grunt growled. "Children are the ultimate warriors of the universe."

Hilbert grinned. "Thank you!"

The grunts left the old man alone, rushing off into the city. The twins helped the old man to his feet, where he brushed dirt off his jacket before giving them a big mustached smile.

"Thank you, children," he said. "Those Team Plasma people are truly odd. They attacked me for taking care of Pokemon..." he shook his head. "Anyway. I came to Nimbasa to sell these old bicycles, since my wife and I don't get out much these days, but you two look like you can take care of them. You can have them as thank-you gifts."

And he handed each of them a collapsable bike before letting them know that they could leave any of their Pokemon with him and his wife to be raised for them, and then he turned and left.

"That was random," Hilbert stated.

"You said it," Hilda sighed, yanking her hair free of its ponytail to fix it. "Well, we might as well find the gym."

"Forget the gym!" Hilbert cheered, catching sight of something big and yellow in the distance. "I see a giant Pikachu! I wanna pet the giant Pikachu!"

"We don't have -" Hilda started, but was dragged behind him as he ran off to find the giant Pikachu. He would have run ahead, but she suddenly stopped and sat down on the ground, making tugging her along a bit more difficult.

"What's wrong?"

"The N guy. He's right over there."

Hilbert stared into the crowd, and saw the familiar green ponytail and black hat. "You mean the werewolf?"

"You think he's a werewolf?"

Hilbert was offended at the doubt in his sister's tone. "You don't? Think about it, Hilda. He's got a great connection with Pokemon, while it's clear even to me that his people skills are just a little out of order. It's more than likely due to long periods of solitude and isolation, meaning, turning into a Mightyena at the full moon."

Hilda shook her head. "Hilbert. While I would _love_ to befriend a werewolf, he's probably just a normal guy with unusual talents that just happens to be affected by some kind of disorder. Such as...whatever you have."

The objection she sensed at the tip of her brother's tongue was cut short by the arrival of the boy in question, and Hilbert immediately turned his attention to staring at him. N's usual cheerfulness faded fast.

"What's so interesting?" he asked, quite obviously confused and just a bit freaked out.

Hilbert's stare didn't lessen. "There's a full moon out tonight," he whispered, to the point that the other two barely heard him.

"Fascinating." N's gray eyes locked onto Hilbert's brown ones, an obvious defense mechanism. And a highly successful one - Hilbert dropped his stare immediately. Satisfied, N turned on Hilda. "Here for a gym battle, I take it?"

"Well, yes. But not this second. Right now, we're looking for Team Plasma. You know, guys with really stupid knight costumes and constant monologues about Pokemon liberation..."

"I have heard of them, yes, and I agree the uniforms could be better." He started off, toward a towering Ferris wheel. "Perhaps we can find them from up here."

Hilda rolled her eyes. "You just want to ride the Ferris wheel, don't you?"

N smiled. "Of course. I've always been fascinated by them. The circular motion...the mechanics...like collections of elegant formulas."

_Formulas?_ Hilda decided to forget about it. If the guy found enjoyment in formulas, she wasn't going to stop him. "Haven't you ever been on one before?"

"Never." N shrugged. "I didn't get out much."

Erika suddenly popped out of her ball, racing up to the entrance to the ride. "Servine!" she cheered, running back to Hilda and rushing around in circles.

"Erika, don't!" Hilda whined, but N just laughed.

"She's excited. She wants to go, too."

"Servine!" Erika agreed, happy to have a translator.

"Well...I guess it's ok..."

She headed off to take her Pokemon for a ride, but a man stopped her.

"Two humans," he said simply. "It's a rule we made to cut down lines. Pokemon are allowed, but they have to be with their trainers, and no more than 50 pounds in weight."

"Oh." Hilda turned to ask her brother, but N cut in once more.

"Actually, I would like to go with her. I have a...business proposition to make, best done in private." Hilda opened her mouth to protest, only to be given a slight smile in response. "There's no need to fear, Hilda. I can assure you, I have never been diagnosed with any sort of dangerous mental diseases."

Hilbert grabbed him by the shoulder. "Be nice to my sister up there, N," he warned. "If you're not, I'll eat your flesh."

"Oh, shut up," Hilda sighed, pushing Hilbert away from her potential love interest. She turned back to N. "He says 'eat your flesh,' but he really means 'poke you with a plastic fork.' Now, don't get too close to me, and let's go."

Perhaps she should have thought things through.

* * *

Erika was happy. She was riding the coolest Ferris wheel of all with two of her favorite toys...er, people. She was even singing softly, the words in Servine-speak but the tune undoubtedly from some sort of Disney movie_._ It was clearly annoying N, just a little.

"Servine, please?" he requested, and she fell to swaying with the mental music as she stared out the window, paying little attention to either human. Until, that is, she heard N speak.

"First, I must tell you. I am the king of Team Plasma."

Erika and Hilda both squeaked the same response, at the same time: "You're the _what_?"

"I am the king of Team Plasma," he repeated. "Ghetsis asked me to work with him to save the Pokemon."

"Who the heck is Ghetsis?" Hilda asked, recognizing the name but not able to place it.

N sighed. "You know him as 'castle-man,' I think."

"Oh. That guy." She was quiet, and N took it to mean she was thinking about his position, when she was really thinking about kicking him right out of the Ferris wheel and watching his body fall.

"Are you upset?" N asked quietly, more than a little upset himself.

"Sort of. I mean, you can't just tell people you're the leader of an extremist organization and not expect them to freak out at least a little." She crossed her arms over her chest. "I was thinking, though, about tossing you out of the Ferris wheel and watching you plummet to your untimely death. You're a big boy, though, so I doubt I could."

"That wouldn't be a good idea," N reminded her, but she just waved it off.

"So why are you telling me this, if you want us to be friends?"

N brightened. "You mean we can still be friends?"

"I never said that."

He sighed. "I really am trying to do the right thing. It's just that sometimes the grunts, and the Sages for that matter, can get a bit overenthusiastic about our liberation plans and..."

"Give off the idea that your team is full of losers and hypocrites?" Hilda offered when she noticed he was struggling with his phrasing. "I mean, you don't want battles, and yet you use Pokemon-to-Pokemon combat to get your point across. Have any of you ever released Pokemon?"

N felt his temper flare up, and he was almost ready to defy the laws and stand up when the ride was in motion. But, like Hilda said, he was a big boy - freakishly tall for being only seventeen - and doing so probably would have just caused him to bonk his head on the roof. This was not how his first Ferris wheel ride went in his mind.

The ride stopped, letting the two of them off. Hilda wished she hadn't called Team Plasma a bunch of losers and hypocrites, but if the shoe fits...

Still, she did believe N was trying to have his team do the right thing. But no one with 'Team' in their name was to be trusted, just in case.

"How did it go?" Hilbert asked. "Should I eat his flesh?"

"Leave him alone. He was just finishing up."

"I really do want to be friends," N said, seeming to ignore Hilbert's presence. Of course he was. Hilbert hadn't heard the confession. "Do you think it would be possible?"

Hilda wasn't sure. She still desperately wanted to braid his hair, and probably brush it, too. "Perhaps. If you could tone down your...things a bit. Then we'll try to be friends whenever we see each other."

The Team Plasma grunts from before suddenly jumped in front of N, as if shielding him from any attacks. "There you are, N!" one of them said, quite relieved. "Are these brats the source of all your trouble?"

"They're no trouble at all," the young king explained. "However, there are a few things that were asked of me. Hilda...prepare to battle."


	14. Coaster-phobia

**In which you find out what Burgh wanted to apologize for. Or not.**

**WARNING: Horribly-written battle scenes, implied Burgh antics, stupid Tommy, and roller coasters.**

Of the Pokemon he'd befriended, the only real challenges were Darumaka and Sigilyph. Sandile's typing made it easy for Erika to defeat it, while Sewaddle took out Scraggy. Lillipup managed to be on equal footing with Darumaka, barely standing when the red thing went down, while Blitzle's Shock Wave was the only thing keeping him from meeting a horrible fate at the hand...things...of Sigilyph.

N didn't seem surprised at her victory. "Exactly how I envisioned it," he said softly, sadly, as he healed up his temporary allies. "But there's nothing you can do. You may have defeated me here, but my plan is to become the Champion. An undefeated trainer...if the Champion releases his Pokemon, then others will follow his example. And then the world will be perfect."

"I can so stop you," Hilda huffed.

"You?" N questioned, intrigued. He stretched to his full height, grinning down at her. She tried not to let him know that it was a bit intimidating - he had to be nearly six feet! "How?"

"By physical force if necessary."

"I would love to see that," he said, only a little sarcastic, before heading off with his friends.

Hilbert stared after him. "Did he break up with you?"

"You can't break up if you were never together. I'm over him, anyway."

Hilbert tilted his head. "I thought you said it was allergies." As his sister shrugged, he grinned and linked his arm with hers. "Don't worry, Hilda! I'll always be there for you! In the snow, in the rain, in the sun, on the moon...I promise I'll never leave your side." The touching family moment was interrupted, however, when Hilbert saw something else in the distance and ran off, yelling "Funnel cakes!"

Hilda turned to Erika and smiled a little. "We just can't keep him focused for long, can we?"

Erika barely paid attention as her trainer moved after Hilbert and attempted to catch him. Instead, she stared off into the distance, right where they'd watched N disappear.

_So you're the king of Team Plasma, huh?_ she thought after him, wondering if his ability to communicate with her was telepathic, and, if so, if she was still in his range. _All right, Your Majesty. Bring it on._

* * *

Each with a huge funnel cake they were sharing with their Pokemon, the twins set off to explore Nimbasa City before challenging the gym.

"Tommy, don't inhale it!" Hilbert wailed as his Dewott scarfed down about half the treat.

**"Yeah, Tommy, don't inhale it,"** Erika repeated, nibbling on her own piece of Hilda's.** "****Knowing Cheren, he'll challenge Hilbert to a battle in about four hours, and you don't want to be too fat to move when he does."**

Tommy squeaked in surprise, backing up quickly as his fellow starter's words registered with him. **"Wait...He? Cheren's a _male_?"**

But the siblings weren't paying attention to their Pokemon's odd conversation, and wouldn't have understood it if they had. To their surprise, they found Bianca standing in front of a building, arguing with her father. Bianca never argued with anyone, even if she disagreed with them, instead preferring to make her points quietly and hope for the best. This must have been important.

"I'm sorry, Bianca," her father was saying. "But don't you think you've gone far enough?"

"No! No, I haven't!" Bianca objected. "You always say you want what's best for me. Didn't you ever think that this might be it?"

"But Bianca, you could get hurt! I don't want to see my little girl upset, and especially not dead."

"But I have Dewott and Munna and the others to protect me," Bianca whispered. "I don't want to go home, Daddy. Not yet."

"Good for you!"

Everyone's heads turned as a stunningly beautiful blonde woman approached, her high heels clicking against the pavement and the cords on her headphones waving behind her. Hilbert even dropped a piece of his remaining funnel cake to stare as she walked by, up to Bianca and her father.

"Who are you?" Bianca's dad asked, and the woman introduced herself.

"I'm Elesa, Nimbasa City's Gym Leader. I couldn't help overhearing your conversation, and I have to agree that letting the girl continue her journey means she might get hurt." Bianca's dad turned back to his daughter, ready to use the Gym Leader's confirmation as an excuse to drag her back home, but Elesa continued before he could. "However, being hurt is no reason to give up on something you really want. Let her decide."

Bianca swallowed nervously, focusing on a button on her father's shirt instead of his face. "I want to keep traveling. I have Hilbert and Hilda and Cheren looking out for me. My Pokemon can find them for me if I get into too much trouble. And I promise, when I'm done with my journey, I will come home."

Her father fell silent. His eyes flickered from Bianca to Elesa to the twins before finally settling back on his daughter. He deliberated for a moment longer, then sighed. "You're right. Trying to stop you is just selfish of me. You're your own person, Bianca. I'm sorry I didn't see it before."

"Thanks for understanding." Bianca beamed and took his hand. "Come on, Daddy. Let me show you the Musicals before you go home!"

And they were off.

Hilda cleared her throat and tapped Elesa on the shoulder. "Excuse me. I'm glad this family moment ended happily, and I'm really, really glad Bianca's staying on her journey, but I need to talk to you. Do you know the gym leader from Castelia City?"

Elesa's eyes rolled so far back into her head, Hilbert was concerned she was having a stroke, but she returned her attention to them half a second later. "Whatever he did, I'm sorry. I know he likes to hit on random challengers, but I can assure you it's just to make them uncomfortable and he means absolutely nothing by it."

"No. He didn't hit on me. Or my brother. He actually told me to pass on an apology from him to you."

Elesa blinked. "Oh."

"Can you tell me what it was he might want to apologize for?" Hilbert asked, butting in with a bit of funnel cake hanging from his mouth. Patrat climbed onto his shoulder to snatch a piece off the plate, but he paid no attention.

"Well, there's a number of things. The silly string, the pants, Halloween, being Burgh...but since it's the only thing I actually got mad at him for, I'm assuming he's referring to Incident 366."

Hilda looked mildly interested. "What's Incident 366?"

Elesa raised an eyebrow. "How old are you?"

Hilda cleared her throat nervously as Hilbert blinked in confusion. Elesa laughed quietly. "Well, then, I assume you're challengers. I'll be waiting for you in the Gym, I guess."

* * *

Hilbert and Hilda naturally stopped to trade after hearing Elesa specialized in Electric-types, so of course Elesa was waiting for them in the back of the gym. The path to her would have been much easier to handle, if it hadn't involved roller coasters.

Next to Darmanitan, nothing scared Hilda more than roller coasters, and adding that to the fact that Hilbert almost always got sick on them, well, wouldn't you want to back out? But, of course, her fourth badge was waiting for her, and she had to conquer her fears sometime. So, she swallowed her fear, climbed into a car, and covered her face as Hilbert climbed in with her. She whispered prayers to whatever god or legendary was listening to just make this go fast and help her win the badge, especially with her borrowed friend Sandile, and it wasn't long before she was climbing out of the last car, violently shaking, and curling up on the ground in an attempt to recover.

"My therapist would be so proud," Hilda muttered, not bothering to look up at all when Elesa rushed over and asked if she was ok.

Hilbert, too, was more than a little woozy. "Hey, Elesa? Do you have a pukey bag?"

* * *

Elesa decided to take it easy on the poor girl, letting her get away with a one-on-one challenge instead of the usual full-on brawl. Once Hilda had recovered enough to accept the challenge, her brother picked her off the ground and carried her to the battlefield, before heading off to the gym's bathroom to brush his teeth. The battle began as soon as Elesa let out her Zebstrika.

Hilda was still a bit wobbly, but she called on Sandile anyway. The crocodile looked around, bewildered at her new surroundings and even more confused about her new temporary trainer.

"Come on, Sandile!" Hilda whined as the creature flicked her tail nervously. "Hilbert trained you against Pokemon in the desert. I know you've battled!"

"Sand..." the Pokemon sighed, but faced the Zebstrika with determination.

Elesa thought hard. Electric-type moves weren't effective against Ground-types... "Zebstrika, use Flame Charge!"

That wasn't too good a move, either, but at least it got started.

"Sand Tomb!" Hilda called back, and Sandile let loose a stream of sand out from out of nowhere, trapping Zebstrika and doing a lot of damage. Of course, Elesa was a Gym Leader, and a bit more difficult to defeat than the random trainers she and Hilbert had battled offscreen.

"Use Quick Attack!"

Sandile rolled out of the way, now mad enough to do whatever Hilda asked without hesitation.

"Sand Tomb again!"

And so on, until Zebstrika collapsed in front of Elesa, unconscious.

"Sand, Sandile!" the creature cried, only to make a very odd sound two seconds later as a glowing light flashed from her body. She seemed to disintegrate completely before materializing again, this time in a much bigger body on two legs instead of four.

"That's weird," Hilbert stated. "I thought for sure we'd have to wait a bit before she evolved."

His new catch gave him a smug Krokorok-smile, exposing her sharp teeth. Elesa sighed and handed Hilda the Bolt Badge.

"I'm afraid the only way out is to ride another roller coaster," she admitted. "I'm sorry. I didn't think when I had those installed."

Hilda clicked the badge case closed, somewhat calmer. "Actually, I see you have a window. I'll go and climb out of that."

And she did, recalling her brother's new Krokorok as she did so. Hilbert smiled at the blonde, seemingly oblivious to Hilda's near-peril. "Where can we go next?"

"Well, first I'll have to call Burgh and ask why he didn't bother to apologize himself, but you can get Hilda and meet me at Route 5, ok?"

And she waved him on to the coaster while she called up Burgh (how did they know each other, anyway? Was he her ex-boyfriend? Current out-of-town love? Babysitting charge?) and let him take his sister's Lillipup for a ride.

Lillipup, too, got a bit sick at the end of it.


	15. The Drawbridge of Death

**In which a new, important character teaches things no one learns.**

Hilbert found Hilda at the gym door, waiting for him so she could get Lillipup back. She'd used Erika's Vine Whip to catch herself before she fell to her death, which was something Hilbert had never thought of. After switching Krokorok back for Lillipup, the two prepared to meet Elesa just outside of town. Though the blonde was absent, someone else was there...

"Cheren!" Hilbert called, catching the other boy's attention. "Hey! How've you been, buddy?"

Cheren seemed to have something else on his mind as he responded to his friend's enthusiasm with a question of his own. "I saw Bianca with her dad. He hasn't brought her home, has he?"

"He tried," Hilda admitted, "but Elesa convinced him otherwise."

"That's good." He waved them forward, with something completely new taking over his mind. "Now, come on. There's something you'll want to see."

The siblings followed their friend to the middle of a crowd, where a man was talking to a pair of preschool children. This man had ridiculous hair, too - part of it shot up from his head like fire, arranged into spikes, while the rest was held in an equally-spiky ponytail. Hilbert momentarily wondered just how many people in Unova had normal hair, but he was distracted when the man introduced himself to the three teenagers.

"I'm Alder," he declared, "and I'm the Champion of Unova. I was just wondering if any of you would like to show these children how to battle."

"Why can't you do it?" Hilbert asked him, only for Hilda to silence him. It was Cheren, however, that explained.

"He's way too strong," he said, looking up at Alder with a mixture of fear and admiration. "These kids aren't old enough to take the gym challenge to warm up for the Champion."

"Well, something like that," Alder admitted, having heard Cheren's words. "So, who wants to give it a shot?"

Cheren and Hilbert stepped forward together, and the two little preschoolers cheered. It was Double Battle Time!

* * *

The older kids won, of course. Not that the preschoolers minded. Of course not. They were too excited about the fact that their Pokemon actually listened to them to who had been victorious, and they all looked up at Alder with huge eyes, admiring his Champion status and ridiculous hair.

"What do you want to be when you grow up, kids?" the teacher asked, and the two children immediately pointed at Alder.

"I wanna be Champion, just like him!" the boy declared, and the girl sat down to play with her Pokemon.

"We're gonna need to get way stronger," the girl said, rubbing her Herdier between the ears. "And take the Gym challenge in a few years."

The boy looked up at the older kids, Cheren in particular. "What about you guys?"

"Well, my sister and friend want to beat him," Hilbert said, pointing toward the Champion, "but I want to be something else. I want to be the grumpy old man that yells at kids to get off his lawn."

Alder chuckled, but focused instead on Cheren and Hilda. "Do you two have any backup plans?" he asked. "Just in case being the Champion isn't as worth it as you think."

Cheren adjusted his glasses. "What else is there? Strength and power, proving to yourself that you're the best. Isn't that what it was like for you?"

Alder looked away, toward a drawbridge. "So, who got stuck with the job of calling Clay?" he asked no one, changing the subject a bit too suddenly. Hilda wondered what was up with that, before deciding she probably wouldn't care much.

"That would be me." Elesa's arrival was not entirely unexpected, and her shoes clicked across the road. "I'm sorry for the delay. Some days even close friends are hard to reach. Fortunately, I know that Clay is completely bored out of his mind."

She spoke quietly to the guard of the drawbridge, who pressed a button on the nearby control panel. At first, nothing happened, but then, with a loud noise, the bridge lowered. Elesa turned a bright smile on the trio of teenagers.

"Your next gym battle is just over that drawbridge," she explained as she returned. "Enjoy yourselves. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a TV gig."

Cheren quickly said goodbye to the Gym Leader, Champion, and children, before he raced toward the bridge. Alder sighed.

"Such a rush to get stronger," he grumbled to himself, before waving the twins on their way. "Well, go on. It's not that far to Driftveil, and if I know Clay, he's dying to meet new challengers."

Hilda watched her friend go until he was out of her line of sight, and turned back to face the Champion. But he was gone, too.

Hilbert, however, didn't seem to care. "Come on, Hilda! I want to see if we can beat Cheren to the Pokemon League!"

* * *

"Hakuna matata! What a wonderful phrase!"

Hilbert paused, waiting for his sister to join in with the next line. No such luck - Hilda was off examining a feather she'd found on the side of the bridge. "I think this is a Pretty Wing!" she cheered, placing it in a small box she'd kept in her bag. "Do you know what this means, Hilbert?"

"That there's a pretty bird flying around somewhere up there?" He pointed to the sky, but Hilda shook her head.

"No. Well, yes, but that's not what I was thinking at all. What if there are other kinds of Wings out on this bridge? We could collect them!"

"You're taking a detour from becoming the Champion just to start a collection?" Beat. "Sure. I'm in."

"Great. Look for ones that aren't...on second thought, just grab every feather you find, ok?"

And so they went, rushing across the bridge to see if they could find a complete set of Wings, forgetting that their next badge was waiting, forgetting that Cheren didn't have much patience for anyone but Pokemon, Bianca, and small children, and forgetting that their almost-friend was actually the leader of a team of Pokemon rights activists that may or may not be a group of hypocrites.

"Hilda!" Hilbert called about five minutes later, distracting her from her search. "I found a whole bunch of feathers!"

The ball of feathers in his hands wasn't happy with being picked up, however, and soon the boy found himself on the receiving end of a Water Pulse attack.

"It was a joke, jeez! I wasn't gonna pluck you or anything!" he whined, but as the blue creature moved in for another attack, Hilbert found himself recued by Hilda's Blitzle. The little zebra stared down his opponent, clicking his hoof against the bridge to show he meant business.

The Ducklett stared back for just a few seconds longer, before giving a great birdie battle cry and calling a bunch of friends to its aid.

Hilbert and Hilda shared a look. It looked like they'd have to fight their way out.

* * *

"Yes!" Hilda cheered as Erika slammed another Ducklett to the ground. Forget the collection, she and her Pokemon were all having fun! Even Erika and Sewaddle's type disadvantage wasn't important with Blitzle backing them up. Despite his pink ball, he really seemed to like Hilda now, and even Patrat was getting along with Hilbert when he wasn't being too much of an idiot. Team Plasma should see them now.

But it seemed that as soon as the Ducklett they'd knocked out recovered, they charged again, bringing at least four more with it. It was starting to get old, and they were only halfway across the bridge.

"Want to run for it?" Hilbert suggested. His Pokemon were starting to get tired, and he could tell that Hilda's were, too.

Hilda nodded. "Run," she agreed, recalling all her Pokemon but Blitzle as Hilbert returned all but Tommy. Only their bodyguards remaining, they took off, leaving the other humans on the bridge in a state of perpetual confusion. The Ducklett army followed, a vile mass of ticked-off feathers, and Hilda mentally cursed her brother for having his head stuck up in outer space. And herself, for ignoring the lessons she'd learned time after time about choosing words carefully around people like him.

Neither of them seemed to notice how close Driftveil City was until they'd nearly run into Cheren, barely managing to stop before they knocked him over like a bowling pin.

The wannabe champion glanced behind his friends, noticing their attackers, and his hand immediately came up to his forehead. "Of all the ridiculous..." he started, but cleared those thoughts out of his head quickly and sent out a Pokemon. "All right. Liepard, chase the Ducklett away."

The big purple kitty swished its tail, its fur sticking up like a Halloween symbol, before lunging at the birds with a hungry-sounding cry. Though the army had been unafraid of Hilbert's Purrloin when facing her and the rest of the twins' forces, there was just something about the much bigger feline attempting to eat them that set off the completely justified fear, and they retreated - but not before the original Ducklett looked back, promising revenge.

"Thank you, Cheren!" Hilbert nearly hiccuped, calling an exhausted Tommy back into his ball. "I want a Liepard now. Hilda, can you help my Purrloin evolve?"

"Why don't you help her evolve?"

"Because Tommy and Krokorok only evolved with you."

Cheren straightened up as a man wearing a cowboy hat approached. "Forget the evolution debate, guys. I think we're in trouble."

"Got that right," the cowboy grunted. "I'm the Gym Leader 'round these parts, and you kids are in _deep."_


	16. Plasma On Ice

**Human popsicles, cowboys, and a guy with a funny name. This can't be good.**

"You're talking about when we battle you, right?" Hilda squeaked, trying to avoid the man's cold stare.

"Nope. You showin' up sent those Team Plasma fellas runnin' away. That's why I'm makin' you three go out and find 'em again."

"But we had nothing to do with that!" Hilda complained, but the Gym Leader wasn't budging.

"You get Team Plasma, I'll round up the cops. Then we'll talk battles."

And he was off.

"Meanie-pants," Hilda grumbled, kicking at the ground.

Cheren recalled Liepard and started off. "Well, if you don't want to assist, I'm going alone. It's a chance to get stronger for the upcoming battle."

Well, that logic certainly didn't miss its mark with Hilda, and she made him promise to wait for her and Hilbert as they took a brief detour to a Pokemon Center to let their little buddies recover from the previous incident. It's not like two minutes would make much difference...

* * *

"What do you mean, you think they're in there?"

Hilda's whine was not surprising to Cheren at all. In fact, it was rather justified - short shorts, no sleeves, only her boots and hair as protection from the biting cold of Driftveil's Cold Storage. So what did he do? He handed her a Pokeball, lending her his Pignite as a gesture of friendship. Hilbert sighed and shook his head.

"Cheren, if you want to date my sister, just ask her."

"For the last time, Hilbert, I don't want to date your sister. We'd kill each other."

Hilda snorted and released Pignite, standing close to his warm body for comfort. "That's good. I was starting to worry about having to turn you down."

And, the who-likes-whom conversation forgotten, she and the boys stepped inside. It was a winter wonderland, with slick patches of ice they could skate on for hours, and it crossed Cheren's mind what would have happened if Bianca were here. All together, they would make an incredible team - the Fantastic Four, in their own little ways. But he cleared those thoughts from his head as the real situation registered with him.

It wasn't long before they realized it probably wasn't a good idea to stay for long. For one thing, none of them had any idea what they were doing, and for another, there was no sign of Team Plasma anywhere. But Hilbert was never one to back down from a mission, and was currently humming his own personal spy music as he ran through the Cold Storage, hiding behind huge crates and skating across the ice patches.

"Should we leave him to it, then?" Hilda asked quietly, taking one of Pignite's hands. The warmth of it spread through her entire body, and the bright orange creature offered to do the same for a shivering Erika, but she refused and returned to her ball. Such was the way of thinking for Grass-types.

"Hey!" a voice cut in, and a worker approached the trio, bundled up tightly. Hilda and Cheren both had a moment of envy as they looked at the coat. "What do you kids think you're doing? This isn't a playground."

"We're on the lookout for Team Plasma," Cheren explained. "Clay refuses to let us challenge him until we find them."

"What a load of -" the man started, but then he stopped himself. He started to laugh. "All right, kids. If you wanted a battle, all you had to do was ask."

"We really don't have time for -" Hilda began, but Hilbert interrupted her.

"Don't worry. You two go on without me. I'll battle him." He dug around in his pockets until he found the perfect Pokemon. "I choose Tommy!"

Cheren sighed and pulled Hilda along. "This could take a while. Let's leave him to it, as you suggested."

Hilda glanced back at her brother and his Dewott, but let Cheren lead her away. Team Plasma was more important, anyway.

Besides, she figured Hilbert could handle a couple of workers on his own. She couldn't babysit him forever.

* * *

In the depths of the Cold Storage, a man dressed in purple was shivering, wishing he'd brought a coat. It wasn't that he didn't like his uniform, since he knew he could have been stuck wearing a castle dress like Ghetsis, but the robe was not made out of the warmest material. He mentally cursed the day N gave Anthea and Concordia full control of the costumes. So what if they liked them the way they were? Couldn't they at least have altered the Sage outfits to be _warmer?_

"Why are we even here?" he demanded of his underlings, who shushed him quickly. "That wasn't an answer," he growled, to their obvious annoyance.

A female grunt looked up at him. "Sage Zinzolin, I mean no disrespect, but kindly shut up before you give away our position."

He growled something at her, but she ignored him. She, too, wanted out of the cold, but there were just some things that needed to be done. After all, their king trusted them with a mission, and she, at least, wanted to get it done.

Hopefully without Zinzolin's complaining, but it seemed that there was no way out of that one.

One of her fellow grunts poked his head out of the truck they were hiding in, only to retreat quickly and obviously panicked.

"It's the girl Lord N warned us about," he replied when Zinzolin asked him what that was about. "The girl, and a boy with a Pignite."

The two children in question appeared soon after, while Zinzolin was making yet another childish request for the grunts to shield him from the cold. However, he quickly changed his orders into something more practical.

"Get rid of them!"

"Of course," Hilda sighed, letting Cheren have his Pignite back. "I guess things always end in battle, huh?"

"You take that half," he said in response, gesturing to the group on one side. "I'll take this half."

"We can't be divided like -" the grunt who had shushed Zinzolin started, but the other one silenced her and began his battle with Cheren.

Really, he thought, what's the king so worried about?

* * *

"And that is why you don't mess with us," Hilda cheered, hugging her Blitzle happily. Or, at least, in what seemed to be a gesture of happiness. She really just wanted to leech off his body heat. Not that he minded. She was warm, too.

Zinzolin growled as his minions all fell into a flurry of apology. "All we wanted to do was liberate poor Pokemon from fools like you! Our king would have been so proud! And we would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling..."

"Don't even _think_ about makin' a Scooby Doo reference," a man's voice growled. There stood Clay, dragging Hilbert around by the sleeve and leading what appeared to be police officers to the culprits. Neither Hilda nor Cheren had ever seen a police officer before, except those that came to their kindergarten class for career day. But these officers weren't here to explain the job to five-year-olds. They came forward and placed handcuffs on each and every one of the Plasma people, including the elderly man in purple.

Hilbert grinned like an idiot. "See? I can be useful. I told Clay where you guys were hiding."

"I'll admit, you aren't completely useless," Hilda agreed, before turning to Clay. "Does this mean I get to battle you now?"

"I want to battle him first!" Cheren objected, but Clay held out his hands in surrender.

"First one to the Gym gets the first shot at the Quake Badge," he declared. "No fightin' and no complainin' when the other beats ya to it."

Hilda sighed. "Fair enough. Now, can we get out of this freezer?"


	17. Hilda vs the Underground Boss

**In which we finally realize Ghetsis is a jerk.**

One short trip to the Pokemon Center later, the twins arrived at the Driftveil City Gym, only to see not only Cheren and Clay, but the legendary Castle-man and the captive Plasma operatives. Ghetsis was speaking with Clay, explaining the mission of Team Plasma to the Gym Leader. It didn't look like Clay was buying it at all.

"We of Team Plasma free Pokemon from wicked people," Ghetsis was saying, his ridiculous robe fluttering in the breeze. "Surely you know that some people use those poor creatures as tools and nothing more."

"That is an unfortunate truth," Clay admitted, adjusting his hat. "But I ain't too sure I can trust ya on that."

"Are you calling me a liar, Gym Leader?" Ghetsis asked, his voice a bit too amused for the situation.

"No. I'm sayin' that I've heard of yer group, and heard it's not just the bad ones that get their Pokemon freed."

Ghetsis waved his hand dismissively. "People are people. There's a bit of evil in us all."

"And good, if ya look hard enough."

Castle-man chuckled. "Not in everyone." He held out a hand. "So, back to my original request. Release my colleagues, and we will leave Driftveil City with no Pokemon but those that chose to be with us."

"You mean your own, right?" Cheren spoke up, getting the man's attention for the first time.

"We of Team Plasma do not own Pokemon. They come to us of their own free will."

"You enjoy listenin' to yourself talk, don't ya?" Clay looked back at the other operatives before finishing. "All right, take yer friends and get out of my city."

Ghetsis smirked. There was something fairly creepy about the expression. "I thought you'd see things my way."

Hilbert suddenly broke through the crowd, right up to Ghetsis, and asked him a highly ridiculous question: "Where did you get your bathrobe? I want one."

Hilda and Cheren facepalmed, while Ghetsis stared the boy down. Hilda cut through the crowd and dragged her brother away, apologizing to the man. "I'm really, really sorry about Hilbert. He just gets these ideas, you know? It's hard keeping track of him."

"Perhaps you should consider keeping him on a leash."

Hilda rolled her eyes. "I did, once. He gnawed through it."

Ghetsis laughed out loud. "For a pathetic waste of oxygen, you amuse me. When I conquer the world, your death shall be swift and painless."

Hilda stared. "What?"

"What?"

"Get out," Clay said, obviously too tired of dealing with these people to pay attention to what was being said, and Cheren seemed to be the same way. The grunts followed Ghetsis willingly, but Zinzolin turned back, looking quite unstable.

"Just wait!" he declared, laughing maniacally. "Team Plasma will have our revenge! Death by penguins!"

Ghetsis sighed and pushed him ahead. "Did you remember to take your medication this morning, Zinzolin, or must I force it down your throat again?"

* * *

Twenty-six minutes later, Hilda passed through the doors of the Driftveil Gym armed with a Servine, a Krokorok, a Sewaddle she hopefully wouldn't have to use, and a...

"When did Tommy become a Samurott?"

Hilbert shrugged. "Cold Storage," he said simply, pulling off his hat to attempt to finger-comb his hair. "You and Cheren were gone, so you didn't see it."

Tommy quickly demonstrated, however, that despite his new form he was still the Pokemon they'd come to know and, in Hilbert's case at least, love. He yawned widely, rustling his newly-formed mustache, and went to take a nap in his ball. It was amazing, how the little thing could still hold him in his new size...

Hilda shook her head. The badge awaited, and since there were no roller coasters in sight, she could totally handle this. She wasn't going to let Cheren win the race to Victory Road that easily.

As if he could tell what she was thinking, Hilbert spoke up. "Do you think Cheren already got the badge?"

"Who knows. He could just be letting me get ahead."

"Why?"

"No idea." Hilda stepped onto the elevator that would take them down to Clay, very nervous about going down an elevator with no walls or ceiling. "Come on. The Gym Leader's waiting for us."

* * *

"Wheeeee!"

Clay rolled his eyes at the sound of the boy's cry, but understood where it was coming from. He himself enjoyed the elevators of his gym, especially the long one that made you feel like you were falling. Hilbert stepped off the platform grinning widely, while the girl's eyes were frozen open and she was paler than death.

"What...in the...world...was that?" she whimpered, wrapping her arms around her chest as if to hold herself together.

"It beats the roller coasters," Hilbert protested, and Hilda nodded in agreement.

"I'm just not used to falling to my death, even if I do trust the Gym Leaders to not kill anyone at risk of their jobs." Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she approached the cowboy with a weak smile.

Clay plucked a Pokeball from his belt as she did the same. "All right, kid. You up for it?"

"Please. The elevator was just a minor inconvenience."

He chuckled. "Tough little thing," he commented, before sending out his first Pokemon - a Krokorok.

"Really?" Hilda shrugged, before allowing her brother's giant sea lion to appear and kick butt.

Not that Clay let type disadvantages get the better of him, though. "Open with Swagger," he commanded, and the Krokorok obeyed. Tommy blinked as the giant sand crocodile made its move, before tilting his head to one side. Nothing seemed to happen.

Hilda burst out laughing. "I get it! Tommy's already confused all the time, so Swagger had no effect!"

Tommy grinned and prepared to launch a Razor Shell at the girl's command. He did so, all right...at the wall, where it proceeded to backfire on him and smack him in the face.

"Or maybe it did," Hilda sighed, recalling Tommy and sending Erika out in his place. The Servine took the Crunch that Clay had ordered, but a single Leaf Blade took Krokorok down.

Clay adjusted his hat. "Well, now. You must be real lucky with all them one-hit knockouts."

Hilda shrugged. "It's what keeps the plot rolling."

The Gym Leader shook his head and returned his Pokemon, before calling out his second: an Excadrill.

Hilda squeaked. She knew too well that it was a powerful Pokemon, and she didn't want to use Erika again just yet. So, she recalled her snake, switching out for her brother's Samurott. She knew that confusion wore off when a Pokemon was switched out. She was just hoping Tommy would be useful here.

Clay wasn't going to give them a chance. "Use Dig!"

The drill Pokemon buried its way under ground, preparing to attack but not going to resurface until Hilda and Tommy made a move. She sighed. "Use Water Gun!"

Though the attack missed, it did what Hilda wanted: it brought Excadrill out of hiding. It took a swipe at the mustached sea lion, but Tommy was still standing. "Tommy, Razor Shell!"

He roared in response and attacked, taking Excadrill down in one hit just like Erika had with Krokorok. Or at least so it seemed: the mole struggled to its feet and clicked its claws together. And then Clay used a Hyper Potion.

"Why do Gym Leaders do this?" Hilda huffed, but understood too well. "Razor Shell again!"

The attack hit, but like before, it survived, landing before pulling off a Slash attack. But that was nothing Tommy couldn't handle, and took it down with a Slash of his own.

Clay glanced back at the Samurott after he called Excadrill back, thinking. It was strong, though it seemed to be a bit more dim-witted than his trainer, who in turn seemed to be perfectly intelligent and capable and just had difficulty showing it. But Clay was a Ground-type specialist, and the only Pokemon he had left was...

As he sent out his last Pokemon, Hilda couldn't help but stare. It was completely ridiculous, but adorable. She loved it, but it had to go down.

"Tommy, come back! Erika, take down that Palpitoad!"

"Aqua Ring!" Clay commanded, taking the first move again. Not that that mattered - he knew he was doomed.

Especially when the pretty little grass snake became a beautiful serpent of sea monster-like size. Erika had reached her dream of becoming a Serperior.

* * *

Clay conceded defeat, but asked Hilda to do something for him before he would give her the badge.

"I guess I should have seen this coming," she sighed, stroking Erika's head as if the snake were a kitten.

"Ser..." Erika agreed, faceplanting on the Gym floor.

Clay pretended not to notice. "Wait for me by Chargestone Cave," he instructed. "I've got a hunch that someone's up to no good up there. I think you kids should come with me to check it out, just to be on the safe side."

"Fine. Just give us time to trade our Pokemon back."

And the twins left in the elevator, leaving the Gym Leader behind as they prepared to go into Chargestone Cave.


	18. The Cave of Confusion

**In which Ghetsis "explains" shipping, Erika tries to play matchmaker, and Hilbert still doesn't have a clue.**

**NOTE: Obviously, Ghetsis does not share views on shipping with the authors. Don't go blaming us for anything.**

N was bored.

The ninjas that Ghetsis had hired were being so ridiculous, shocking each other with the charged stones that named the cave, that he was starting to miss Hilbert, and that was saying something. But Hilbert wasn't here. Yet, N added silently, well aware that he and the twins tended to bump into each other all over the place. He was half-waiting for them, actually, pacing across the path in the cave. He'd asked the Galvantula to block off the entrance, but he had a hunch that such a thing was no way to stop them.

But there was still the matter of what he was supposed to do until they got here.

He approached Ghetsis, attempting to look over the man's shoulder at whatever he was doing. Unfortunately, Castle-man saw this coming, and folded up the paper he was scribbling on before the boy could look.

"I'm your king!" N protested. "I have a right to see if you're making plans to liberate Pokemon."

"But these aren't plans for liberation," Ghetsis snarled, shoving the paper into the robe's pocket. "These are plans for after the Pokemon have been freed from their abusive trainers. Plans for my personal life," he added as the boy started to object again.

N sighed and sat down in the dirt, wondering why he hadn't done much as a king. Shouldn't he be, say, off plotting with the Sages, or something? But that wondering was cut short when he remembered something. "Where's Rood?" he asked, startling Ghetsis with the fact that he was still there.

Ghetsis regained his composure to answer. "I'm not the man's babysitter. Find him yourself."

"I'm here, my lord," the old man said, and N immediately crossed the path to speak to him.

"Rood, a grunt suggested I ask you this, so here it goes: what's shipping?"

Rood flinched. He was more than happy to talk to the boy about anything, but there were just some lines that shouldn't be crossed. "Sir, are we going to have to have the Talk...again?"

N's eyes widened. "No, no," he said quickly. "Twice is enough. I just saw a grunt looking up something called 'FerrisWheelShipping,' and I wondered what it was."

"Shipping," Ghetsis's voice announced, startling both N and Rood, "is a ridiculous activity fans of a particular work, such as Harry Potter, involve themselves in when they take the two least compatable characters of the work and force them into a romantic relationship. FerrisWheelShipping," he continued, lips twisting around the label, "is nothing more than a threat to my...er, our...plans. Do not go near girls, N, unless they work for Team Plasma."

And he was gone. N watched him leave, before turning back to Rood.

"And here I thought it had something to do with pirates on Ferris wheels," he stated, much to the old man's embarrassment. "The more you know, huh?"

And he, too, disappeared, leaving Rood wondering how the boy managed to survive in the outside world. Perhaps he had the ninjas following him and telling him what to do from the shadows.

Or perhaps, Rood thought as he glanced over at the Shadow Triad(now attempting to see how badly they'd get shocked from _licking_ the stones) the young king was simply more aware of things than he let on.

* * *

"I can't believe Erika and Sewaddle evolved in the same day!"

Hilda was beaming with pride as her Serperior followed her down the route, and her brand-new Swadloon was returned to her safe container. Pidove, having been sent to search for the Gym Leader in the cowboy hat, landed on Hilbert's shirt to let them know he'd found him. He immediately took off again, leading the troop over to where the Gym Leader waited. Clay gave Hilda her badge first, before he returned his attention to the giant web blocking the entrance.

"You kids seem to know what you're doin' when it comes to that Team Plasma," he stated, sending Krokorok to Bulldoze the web down. "If they disappeared into the cave, you two can handle it."

"Why can't you?" Hilbert asked him, but Clay just turned to go.

"I've got another challenge lined up - your blond friend. I'd ask the other one, but he's waitin' on her to get her badge before takin' off."

Hilda rolled her eyes. "Knowing Cheren, he managed to get the move Fly and has already been to the next three towns."

Hilbert laughed. "Not three," he disagreed. "Two, maybe, but probably just to the one on the other side of the cave."

Erika looked into the cave, catching sight of something familiar. She wasn't entirely sure what it was, at first, but she suddenly let out a cry of delight and raced into the cave, her long green body moving much faster than either sibling had imagined. For a moment, Hilda felt the sting of rejection, until she heard her Serperior make another sound, this one of impatience.

Erika was out of their line of sight before they entered the cave, however.

* * *

**"Remember me, human?"**

N looked up at the Serperior's face, thinking back. "I can't say I do," he admitted, though he did notice that something was familiar about her. "Are you sure I'm the human you remember?"

**"Last time you saw me, I was a Servine that had followed my trainer onto the Ferris wheel. That's where you told her what it is you do for a living..."**

The boy flinched as he remembered exactly how he knew her. "Oh. You're Hilda's friend. The one that watches too much Disney." Though the memories of the Ferris wheel weren't exactly the memories he wanted, he could feel a tingle of excitement brewing through his whole body. His reunion with Hilda was coming soon, and he would get to finally see whether or not their friendship could survive...

Erika stuck her nose in the air, unaware of how badly N wanted to speak to her trainer. **"I can't help it if Professor Juniper let us watch TV in her lab. But that's not what I came here to discuss."** She coiled up loosely, her large, bright red eyes locked onto her uncomfortable companion. **"I came here to let you know that Hilbert and Hilda are on their way, and to give you advice on how to be their friend."**

"You know that much about humans?"

**"Well, I know about the twins, anyway. Just do what I say, and you'll be their friend again. And maybe I can get you past the friend zone with my trainer, if that's what you're after."**

N gave her a hurt look. "You doubt my competence, don't you?"

**"Yes,"** Erika said immediately.** "Now, as I was saying, Hilbert is usually accepting of anyone, so you're free to go with him. But for Hilda: you like her determination and her hair smells like cinnamon bagels."**

"Why would her hair -"

**"Trust me. Human females love hearing they smell pretty." **There was something _un_trustworthy about the serpent's smile, but N had come to understand that Pokemon never lie. Perhaps she was engaging in a bit of creative truth-telling...

But could he really miss the chance to make actual human friends?

* * *

Erika cheered when she was reunited with Hilda, refusing to explain where she'd gone but obviously happy with her trainer. That was one thing N liked about Hilda - her little buddies simply adored her. Well, Erika certainly wasn't 'little' anymore, but that was good. She was strong, able to take care of herself if they got separated.

"Hey, it's N!" Hilbert called, drawing his sister's attention to the boy. "Think I can ask him about his...issues?"

Hilda rolled her eyes. "If you must."

Hilbert raced up to the older boy, giving him that same creepy stare he'd given right in front of the Ferris wheel. "N, I've got a really important question to ask you: Are you a werewolf?"

N glanced at Hilda for an explanation, but she just shrugged. He was on his own, then. "If I was, why would I tell you?" he questioned in response, bringing Hilbert to silence.

Or, almost. "I just thought it would be cool to be friends with a mythical monster," he mumbled, staring at the Pidove pecking the ground. "Oh, well. I'm taking Pidove to go train more," he told his sister, already recovering. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

And he was gone.

"You haven't told him yet, have you?" N asked. Hilda shook her head, already understanding what he was talking about.

"He'd refuse to believe it. Hilbert's not exactly aware of reality at all times, you know. He's a bit too trusting."

"Serperior mentioned that," N said, glancing back at Erika. "I just thought she was exaggerating."

"How do you do that, anyway?" Hilda asked, forgetting for a moment that this guy was the leader of the most annoying organization she'd ever encountered. Not that she'd encountered any other. "That Dr. Dolittle thing. Can anyone learn, or..."

"My mother was a Ditto."

Hilda flinched, wishing she hadn't asked. She knew that Ditto was a Kanto-native Pokemon that had the capability to breed with nearly anything, but it had never crossed her mind that it might be possible to cross-breed with a human. And now that she _had_ considered it, she desperately needed brain bleach to get rid of the horrible mental pictures and awkward questions that came with them. "Are you...you're not serious, are you?"

N shrugged. "I wouldn't really know. It makes a decent excuse for my talents, though, doesn't it?" Erika sighed and said something in her own tongue, obviously begging for him to continue. "But, speaking of my communication skills, I was told to pass on a message. I didn't want to say it, but since I was threatened with a Vine Whip to the face, I have no choice. So, at the risk of sounding like a stalker, your hair smells like cinnamon bagels." As Hilda started to step away from him, he pointed at Erika. "Her words, not mine."

"So...you haven't been stalking me?"

"I wouldn't say that." At her shocked expression, he smiled a little. "Don't worry, Hilda. In case you've forgotten, I am the leader of a Pokemon rights group and have more important things to do with my time than watch you when you sleep." He turned to leave before adding, "I'll be waiting for you both at the end of the cave. Try to make sure your brother doesn't get himself killed."

And he was gone, leaving her without any human company. At least until the arrival of Bianca and Professor Juniper cut into her moping.

"Hey, Bianca," she said, trying to force a smile. "Where'd Cheren run off to? I thought he was with you."

"Cheren's already gone ahead," Bianca said happily. "I'm staying with the professor to be her bodyguard. Where's Hilbert?"

* * *

Hilbert, it turned out, had gotten himself lost in the maze of the cave. It was only a trio of men dressed as ninjas that kept him from staying there forever, leading them right to N. He was having a quiet conversation with a Klink when they arrived, a weird little creature consisting of two gears. As they watched, the Klink suddenly leapt into an empty Pokeball on N's belt.

"Enjoying capturing Pokemon, N?" Hilda asked casually, but even Hilbert could pick up on the annoyance in her tone.

"It's how I battle," N explained, as if he hadn't heard the underlying accusation of hypocrisy. "I don't need to explain myself any further."

"You might," Hilbert started, getting the king's attention once again. "Every time we see you, you have a different team of Pokemon. The others are all ok, right?"

"Of course. I made sure of it."

"Then why change teams?"

"That is unimportant. What my new friends would like is to judge your character for themselves."

Hilda reached for Blitzle's ball, but N shook his head.

"I already know your Pokemon friends like you," he stated. "I want to test Hilbert this time."

The twins shared a look. On the one hand, Purrloin, Patrat and Pidove were all in their first forms. On the other, Tommy and Krokorok...

Hilbert threw out a Pokeball. "Ok, Patrat. Time for you again!"


	19. Litwick the Friendly Ghost

**Some people have no respect for the dead.**

**NOTE: Half of the Skyla-based jokes started with a comment my sister(the co-writer/editor) made about Skyla's plane being a TARDIS. That naturally led to Time Lord comments, which led to this. I'm sorry.**

Though the battle was close, Hilbert's send-out-one-pokemon-and-substitute strategy seemed to work, and Tommy and Krokorok took down all of N's temporary allies. This seemed to be no different than N had anticipated, just like his battle with Hilda just off the Ferris wheel, but whatever he meant to say to Hilbert was all but forgotten when Bianca and Professor Juniper arrived.

"I'm a bit disappointed, to be honest," the professor was saying, flicking hair out of her eyes. "We've been through this whole darn cave and not a single Klink. I'm starting to think this whole idea was stupid."

N looked up from healing the Pokemon and stared at the researcher, as if unable to believe his eyes. "Are you Professor Juniper?"

"Yes..." she trailed off, waiting for an explanation on why he'd asked. She got one a second later, a flurry of words that Hilda should have seen coming.

"You're the one that's been encouraging people to go out and enslave Pokemon!" N accused, pointing dramatically at the startled researcher. "What in the world posessed you? A Pokedex? Do you honestly think you can understand Pokemon better by sending _these people _out to snatch them from their homes?" He gestured at Hilbert, Hilda, and Bianca as he said 'these people,' leaving them all wondering if he doubted their intelligence. "You make me _sick!"_

It was at this point that Hilda just stopped paying attention, since Erika had started smacking her head against a cave wall and she didn't want the snake to end up hurt. Tommy blinked once, trying to figure out what was going on, before he tried to swallow N.

"Samurott..." came the muffled voice from the creature's mouth, the sound of a very irritated Pokemon-rights activist. "I am not a giant lollipop. Spit me out. Now."

Tommy did so, and N made a face as he attempted to rid himself of all the Samurott spit, though perhaps it was because Tommy kept breathing bad breath into his face. But that was cut short when one of the ninjas reappeared and spoke to N.

"Come on," he said, tugging the boy away. "Ghetsis wants you. He bribed us with waffles."

"I'm not done with any of you!" N called back as he was being dragged away, but the ninjas succeeded in the mission, and soon enough he was gone.

"Who _was_ that guy?" Professor Juniper asked no one, staring after him. Then, deciding he wasn't important, she began admiring Hilda's Pokedex - N had befriended and borrowed a Klink from its natural environment, and the professor was absolutely fascinated with its registry. "Look, Bianca! Hilda's seen a Klink! Our trip here wasn't a waste of time, after all."

* * *

"So this must be Hilda! A wise choice for a Pokedex holder, it seems..."

Hilda looked up, startled at the sound of the man's voice. He was a happy-looking fellow, accompanied by a young redhead with a propeller in her hair and gloves that made her hands look gigantic. She was positive that she had never seen this man before in her life. "Who are you?"

The man coughed nervously. "I suppose that did come off a little creepy. I just got excited when I saw your Pokedex. I'm Cedric Juniper, Professor Juniper's father."

Hilda looked down at her Pokedex, still in her hand from when she'd been showing it off to the younger Juniper. "Still, that's no reason to freak people out like that."

"Sorry," Cedric stated, not seeming sorry at all. "It's just that I figured you two must be Hilbert and Hilda, since my daughter told me to expect to bump into you." He turned back to the redhead. "Skyla, these two are your next Gym challengers."

"You're the Gym Leader? When can we battle?" Hilbert was staring at Skyla in obvious awe, and Hilda rolled her eyes.

_You'd think he's never seen a Gym Leader before,_ she thought, but left it alone. She had far more important things to think of, like a strategy for beating Skyla.

"Not yet," Skyla stated, cutting into Hilda's strategy planning and turning the girl to a discussion with Cedric. "I'm on a mission. As of right now, I have to heal a Pokemon I saw crash-land on top of Celestial Tower."

"I'll come too!" Hilbert cheered, distracting Hilda once again. "I love Pokemon! Please take me?"

Skyla blinked, then shrugged. "The more the merrier, I guess. Allons-y!" she cheered, and ran off in the direction of Celestial Tower.

And Hilda felt all her patience slipping away. "Why do I suddenly have Striaton City flashbacks?"

* * *

Celestial Tower turned out to be a Pokemon graveyard, full of Litwick and Elgyem as well as headstones and grieving trainers. The twins, and Skyla, felt more than a little sorry for the poor Pokemon buried here, but they were on a mission to prevent another one from joining them.

If only the people gathered there were _all_ mourning and not looking to battle.

"Your Pokemon don't seem dead," someone pointed out, dragging Hilda away from the Gym Leader and the mission. "Mine are still alive, too. Why don't we have a battle?"

"Seriously? Where's your respect for the dead?" But as the guy ignored her and forced her to pick a Pokemon, she sighed as she called out her Blitzle. She had to start paying attention to where she was going, and avoid these people.

Hilbert, too, was stuck facing off against someone with no respect for the dead, forced to battle against his will and losing track of the elusive Skyla as well. But at least his Purrloin finally evolved into a Liepard. Proud of her new form, Liepard started to walk down a row of tombstones like she was a model on a runway, but Hilbert called her back to attention quickly.

"Now what?" he finally asked, as his sister walked away from her own battle, victory clear.

"We find Skyla, of course," she stated, adjusting her hat. "And try to avoid all these people."

Hilbert looked around. "That'll be tough."

The siblings heard a soft Pokemon cry from the stairs, and when they looked, they saw a cheerful-looking Litwick waving happily, as if trying to summon them over. Though Hilda's horror-movie experiences taught her that not all of the creatures were as nice as they looked, Hilbert had missed out on the monster nights she'd shared with their father and never learned it for himself.

Completely oblivious to the soul-snatching reputation its kind had, he knelt down to look it in the eye. "Can you lead us to the top?" he asked it, and it straightened up in pride and hopped away, calling back as it did so. Well, if following it was necessary, Hilbert did have Tommy...

* * *

"Where were you guys?" Skyla demanded as the twins finally made it to the top. The Litwick bounced ahead, its purple flame bright, as it hopped along excitedly. Skyla seemed to know exactly what it was looking for. "The Pokemon's already flown off," she told it gently, and the living candle looked disappointed.

"So it's ok?" Hilda asked.

The other girl nodded. "All it needed was a Max Revive."

Litwick puffed out his flame in irritation, having wanted to meet and befriend this Pokemon. Or at least find out what species it was. "Lii..."

Hilda reached down to pat its head, but quickly drew her hand back when she recalled exactly what it was. "So, does that mean your Gym is open now?"

"Sure. You'll know it when you see it - I keep my plane out in front."

"You mean your TARDIS," Hilbert stated. "I've heard you go to the other side of the region and back really quickly, so you have to use Time Lord magic."

Skyla sighed. "Time Lords don't do magic. And it's not a time machine, all right? Trust me, I'd know...I've tried." She started to head off. "I guess I'll see you guys later. Why don't you try ringing the bell to soothe the spirits?"

And she was gone.

The Litwick called the twins' attention back to him, where he pointed at the bell. "Lit. Litwick!"

Hilda tilted her head like a dog. "You want us to ring the bell?"

"Wick!"

Hilbert grinned. "Well, if you insist..."

And he did as the living candle requested. The resulting sound was far too loud for anyone, though, since he was so enthusiastic about it. The Litwick jumped about a foot in the air before he ran to hide behind Hilda.

"Nice," Hilda huffed, removing her hands from her ears. "That was supposed to _calm_ the spirits, you know. You...I think you might have ticked them off, actually."

"You mean the evil spirits might eat us because I disturbed them?" Hilbert squeaked, before grabbing his sister's hand and dragging her from the roof of the tower. "Come on, then! We must ask the Litwicks and Elgyems for protection!"

And that was how Hilbert and Hilda spent the rest of the day in a Pokemon graveyard.


	20. Time Lords and Goodbyes

**Beware of redheaded pilots.**

It wasn't a total waste.

After all, Hilda got new Pokemon on her team, capturing the Litwick that led them to the bell and evolving her Blitzle into Zebstrika. Of course, her Litwick had convinced his friends to battle to toughen his new teammates up, and those friends were merciless, especially on Erika and Swadloon. That was to be expected from Fire-types, but still, it was lucky they had a random nurse there to heal them.

Hilbert, on the other hand, had taken to using Tommy, Liepard and Krokorok as a barrier to protect himself from the evil spirits, holding Patrat like a teddy bear, and though Litwick and his friends tried to get him to battle, only Pidove took that option. Shame, really - an Elgyem had hoped she would get to see the Samurott's strength.

The two healed their Pokemon at the Center, before searching for anything capable of being called a Gym. They found an airport, which meant there were a lot of planes everywhere. Which one was Skyla's?

"The Doctor's TARDIS is blue," Hilbert said, staring them down. "So maybe hers is, too?"

"But all the planes here are gray!" Hilda whined, not bothering to point out that Skyla had flat-out told him her plane wasn't a TARDIS. "And they're in front of a lot of buildings."

Tommy sat down on the cold ground. Summer was almost over, and the chill in the air already promised a freezing winter. He didn't care about the upcoming battle, but he did wonder how the temperature would affect the food...

The sound of Skyla's voice caught their attention, and they found her talking over a phone to someone. It sounded like she was speaking to Cress, from Striaton City, but they couldn't be sure on this point. Skyla looked up and noticed them, ending her call quickly and politely before she bounced up to the twins, leaking excitement.

"I was wondering where you were," Skyla laughed, waving them forward into the Gym. "I've been preparing."

The light snapped on as they entered, and the interior of the Gym sent a shiver of fear down both siblings' spines. There were cannons, cannons everywhere, with little landing pads. Hilbert's eyes lit up.

"We have to shoot ourselves out of cannons?" he gasped, and raced over to the nearest one. "All right! I'm going first!"

"Hilbert, you'll die," Hilda tried to protest, but Hilbert just waved it off.

"How about a bet, then?" he suggested. "If I survive the whole Gym, you owe me a pizza." And, with a loud bang, he was gone.

A helpful Elgyem sighed as it levitated him down onto the landing pad, shaking his head at this idiot. The women, however, took a shortcut to the top, and immediately began their battle without the male cheerleader.

* * *

Skyla was a Flying-type specialist, naturally, and so Hilda sent out Litwick, just to play with her a bit. She was actually easier to beat than her challenger had expected. Litwick had taken out Swoobat easily, and was replaced with Lillipup for Unfezant before she was defeated and he was called back out, but the Water-type Swanna took him down with one hit. Then came the Zebstrika.

Zebstrika, now that he was bigger and more powerful than before, was ready for whatever the Gym Leader could throw at him. He had the double type advantage, but Swanna seemed to be just as powerful. It was down to how far the advantage would take him.

"Shock Wave!" Hilda commanded, knowing the always-accurate move was ultra-effective. Obviously, this was another one-hit KO waiting to happen.

Except it didn't. Swanna was damaged, sure. Perhaps even barely still standing. But it was still in the game, and as such it could still pull off an Aqua Ring and recover a bit, while Skyla took the opportunity to use a Hyper Potion.

That didn't stop Zebstrika. A Spark attack or two and Swanna was down, and Hilda was holding her brand-new Jet Badge in her hand.

There was a loud, disturbing smack as Hilbert's body connected with the wall, and he slid down to the ground, in obvious pain.

"Are you ok?" Hilda asked him, and his finger twitched in response.

"I think I broke my face," he grumbled, attenpting to stand up but failing. Pidove popped out of his ball to fly his trainer to safety, as Skyla and Hilda stared at the tiny pigeon carrying a teenager.

"You're a Time Lord, Skyla!" Hilbert called. "Can't you go back in time and warn me not to do this?"

"Of course not," the redhead called back. "That would involve getting tangled in a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff. And anyway, I can't cross my own timeline. It's against the rules."

Hilbert pouted as Pidove carted him to safety. Skyla shook her head. "He honestly believes I'm a Time Lord?"

"He also believes that a guy we keep bumping into is a werewolf and forest gods are out to eat our spleens."

"Well, the spleen is a delicious organ," Skyla stated, nodding as if she actually knew what a spleen tasted like. She had no real idea, of course, but it was always fun to test her challngers' reactions to phrases like that.

Hilda, quite used to such statements coming from her own mouth, ignored her and continued as if there had been no interruption. "So, yeah, he thinks you're a real Time Lord."

"Awesome! Best. Companion. Ever!"

* * *

No sooner had Hilda stepped outside than she saw N, speaking to Hilbert, Pidove and for some reason, Patrat. That wasn't good. Maybe he was telling Hilbert who he really was. But, of course, something much less fun was going on.

"Your Patrat is tired of battling," N was saying, as Hilbert held his rodent close. "She likes you...but she wants to take a break."

Hilbert looked down at Patrat, who nodded once. He smiled down at her, perfectly willing to part with her if that's what she wanted. "All right. I'm sure Mom or Professor Juniper would take you."

Hilda cleared her throat, alerting them all to her presence. Her arrival seemed to catch both humans off guard, and Hilbert held out Patrat. "Just in time to say goodbye to Patrat," he said, holding out the rodent. "N says she doesn't want to battle anymore."

"Does he, now?" Hilbert couldn't understand why Hilda was glaring at the green-haired boy, or why N had that half-victorious, half-embarrassed smile on his face, but that didn't seem to matter to him. "Wouldn't that just be _convenient _for Team Plasma, then, that you released a Pokemon that has been your friend since you first started out on your journey?"

"Well, yeah, I guess. But I was planning on sending her home to keep Mom company, not releasing her out in the wild. Especially not around here, where I _know _she'll get annihilated if she was gonna battle by herself."

Neither of them was paying attention. Hilda kept glaring, N kept grinning, and Hilbert was once again confused beyond any hope. Finally, the older boy straightened to his full height, towering over Hilda, and stuck out his tongue like a child as he realized that he'd just won the silent argument.

Hilda rolled her eyes. "How old are you?"

"I'm seventeen."

"And how long have you been seventeen?"

It came as a shock to her when N, of all people, caught the Twilight reference and jumped at the chance to avoid continuing it. "Four months and eleven days. But that's not important. What I want to know is, do you want to release your Pokemon?"

"What do you think?"

N shrugged. "It was worth a shot," he replied, turning to leave. "But if you don't let Lillipup out of her ball for more than food and walks, I'd reccomend sending her to your mother as well. She and Patrat can be playmates."

And he was gone. Hilbert waited until he was out of sight, before making a quiet noise not unlike a werewolf howl.

* * *

"I'll take good care of them both, don't worry," their mother was saying two hours later, after they'd decided to take N's advice. "And if you ever want to come and get them, just call."

"Thanks, Mom," Hilda said, waving goodbye to her little puppy as she and Patrat were sent home. Professor Juniper had enough Pokemon to look after back at her lab, the twins had decided, but their mother was all alone. But not anymore.

"Take care of yourselves," their mother said happily, before disconnecting to stop the Pokemon from annihilating her house.

"You think she can handle them?" Hilbert asked, and Hilda smiled.

"Didn't you ever listen to her childhood stories? She was a trainer once, too." She adjusted her bag. "They'll all be fine."

"All right." He hung his head, missing Patrat already, but jumped back to excitement. "Come on, Hilda! You're only missing two badges before you can face the Elite Four...and meet that Grimsley character you idolize so much."

"What are we waiting for?" Hilda giggled, grabbing Hilbert by the sleeve and all but racing from the Pokemon Center. "Grimsley awaits!"


	21. The Mountain of Misery

**WARNING: This chapter contains a lot of translated Pokemon speak. And by 'a lot,' I mean that N talks with his Zoroark friend, and that Erika has a conversation with Tommy. Yes, there is stupidity involved. On the bright side, Hilbert uses his brain.**

"Wait!"

The twins turned simultaneously to see Cheren, running up to them as quickly as he could before skidding to a stop. He leaned against the nearby mountain to catch his breath, adjusted his glasses, and pulled out a Pokeball. "Battle me!"

Hilda folded her arms over her chest, glaring at her childhood friend. "What happened to 'Hey, guys, it's nice to see you?' Did you forget how to say that in your quest for strength, Cheren?"

"Hey, guys, it's nice to see you," Cheren repeated, and was about to re-challenge her when Hilbert spoke up again.

"Where's Bianca? I thought you guys were traveling together now."

"She's about to challenge Skyla and told me to find you," he explained. "I figured I could get ahead quickly."

"You mean we're actually _ahead_ of you?" Hilda gasped, and Cheren waved it away.

"I'm traveling with Bianca," he said, as a way of explanation. "That has to be a get out of jail free card for falling behind."

"Fair enough," Hilbert agreed, but the future battle was cut off by the arrival of a familiar head of insane red hair.

"You three again," Alder stated as he jumped down from the cliff he was watching from. It wasn't _too _tall, but it was still impressive that he'd managed to survive it. "You kids all right?"

"Look, Hilda!" Hilbert laughed, giving his sister a playful nudge. "It's the Champion. Grimsley might not be necessary after all, just fight Alder here!"

"Grimsley is absolutely necessary," Hilda retaliated, pushing him back a little harder than needed. "Alder will annihilate my entire team. I need practice."

Alder paid no attention to the discussion of the girl's admiration of the Dark-type master. "You guys heading out for your next badge?"

"We're waiting on a friend," Cheren stated, and Alder thought about it.

"Would this friend care if you left?"

"Probably not," Hilda stated with a smirk. "She knows Cheren is an impatient jerk."

Cheren gave her an irritated look, but nothing else. He knew she was probably right, after all. "I should probably go and let Bianca know we're ditching her. Don't move until I get back!" he ordered, and stormed away, back to Mistralton.

"Do you know where we're going?" Hilda questioned, and Alder just nodded.

"Iccirus City is just on the other side of this mountain," the Champion explained. "I'll show you the way, once your friend comes back."

* * *

N was nervous. He wasn't entirely sure this part of the plan would work, much less work in his favor. It wasn't exactly that he didn't know what he was doing, it was that sometimes, he didn't believe Ghetsis did.

"Can I at least see it?"

"No."

"For two seconds? Please? I won't touch it."

"For the last time, boy! Merely _looking _at it might set it off far too soon. We need privacy!" Ghetsis took a deep breath to calm himself, then adjusted the precious object he had hidden in his robe. "You will get to view it soon enough."

N glanced at the Zoroark walking along with him as the man moved ahead. "You'd think that being the leader of Team Plasma would allow me to help with the plans."

**"Hey. Don't worry about it. You'll see it someday." **Zoroark stumbled a little, then smirked.**"I'm honestly more concerned about our health. We _used _to be nocturnal."**

"Since when?"

**"I was actually setting up for a movie reference,"** Zoroark admitted. **"But at least I have time to change my sleep cycle. _I_ don't have kids to stalk."**

"For the last time, it's not stalking! It's...a curiosity, that's all. Hilbert and Hilda are just subjects in need of study."

**"I thought you were a math person."**

"Then call them mysterious factors in an equation. Besides," the boy added with a smile, "I have a hunch that they'll end up with more power than the Sages had anticipated."

**"Because we all know you see the future with perfect accuracy," **Zoroark said, rolling his eyes.

N paid no attention to the fox's sarcasm. "Exactly."

* * *

"I hate this place!" Hilda wailed. They'd lost track of Cheren and Alder long ago, and Twist Mountain was shaping up to be much more like the Mountain of Misery.

"It could be worse," Hilbert pointed out, his optimism obvious as ever. "The mountain could collapse on us."

"Don't tempt fate," she warned him, before taking a seat on a boulder. "Why couldn't we have asked Skyla to fly us over to Iccirus City?"

"Because her TARDIS goes through time and is not meant to be used for a quick trip over a mountain," Hilbert stated. "Besides, it's a cargo plane, and cargo planes generally don't carry people."

The girl seemed surprised at her brother's sudden knowledge, but that was a subject for another day. At the moment, Tommy had broken out of his ball once again, and was now attempting to eat his own mustache.

"Some things never change," she sighed, and pulled a box of Pokemon food out of her bag. Proving he hadn't changed as much as evolution may have led them to believe, Tommy swallowed the box whole and begged them both for more. Hilda had to fight to keep his head out of her bag. "No. No more until we reach the next town."

Tommy looked over at Hilbert, giving him the best puppy eyes a Samurott could make. Hilbert held out his hands in surrender. "She's the one with the food. And most of the money."

**"What does money have to do with anything?"** Tommy grumbled to himself, and both humans let out squeaks of surprise when Erika released herself to speak to him.

**"Money is what humans use to pay for food,"** she pointed out, the tip of her tail swishing in irritation. **"And Pokeballs, and Potions, and other necessary objects. Kind of like back in the lab, when Bianca's Oshawott and I used to throw rocks at you in exchange for you leaving us alone."**

**"I thought you threw rocks at me because you hated me."**

**"That's the problem, Tommy. You thought. Of course, we _did _hate you, since you tended to eat everything in our dishes as well as yours, cause unprovoked havoc on the lab, and you nearly drove poor Professor Juniper to suicide...but that wasn't part of our original logic."**

**"But you like me now, right Erika?"**

The Serperior fell silent for a moment. **"Sure,"** she finally said. **"But don't go around eating everything, ok? I might have to hurt you otherwise."**

Tommy stared her down for about ten seconds before deciding that, yes, Erika probably could take him, and yes, she would do so with no hesitation whatsoever. So, he allowed Hilbert to call him back into his ball, leaving the smug grass snake to return to her own portable home for a nap as the twins wondered what the heck just happened.

* * *

"Victory!" Hilda cheered, rushing into a block of daylight, her loathing of the sun forgotten in her glee. She'd gotten used to the "big, burny thing in the sky" as she traveled, but that was one vampire-ish tendency she'd immediately embrace once more as soon as she was home. But the sun didn't matter right now. They were free, out of the mountain and soon to meet the next Gym Leader.

She should have known it was a dead end.

"What is wrong with this place?" she demanded, kicking a small rock off the edge of the mountain, where it conked a Boldore on the head. The rock monster twitched, looked up...and saw absolutely nothing, since the human had retreated to whine to her brother and the Pokemon of the cave about how she was willing to give up.

Hilbert wasn't going to just let her quit. "We can't give up now!" he said, though he wasn't searching for an exit himself - he was playing fetch with Liepard, using his hat as the Frisbee. "You only need two more badges!"

"You think it's easy? You earn them, then."

"Your badge case is pink, and I don't have one," Hilbert retorted, putting his hat back on his head. He grabbed hold of her wrist to pull her along behind him, while Liepard followed as the purple caboose. "Maybe we should come back in the winter. I hear it's easier for -"

"But what if Team Plasma succeeds in getting everybody to release their Pokemon?"

"Just a few seconds ago, you wanted to give up." At Hilda's silence, Hilbert let go of her and started down a tunnel. "Well, then, come on. Gotta stop them somehow."

A loud rumbling sound echoed through the cave, and Hilbert laughed nervously.

"But can we have dinner first?"

"Sorry. I'm out of human food and down to the last box of Poke-Chow." Hilda was pretty hungry herself, but that fueled her determination. Suddenly, an almost visible light bulb went off in her brain, and she gave Hilbert a smile so innocent that it scared him. "You're a teenage boy, right?"

"Right." He was confused. Shouldn't she already know this? They'd shared fifteen birthdays, for Mew's sake!

"And teenage boys tend to like food more than most other people, right?"

"Well, that depends on the boy in question, and the people you're comparing him to. I don't think Cheren would stop mid-battle for -" He then realized she was talking about him specifically, and comparing him to the rest of their family. "I mean, yeah. I like to eat."

"So, think you can use your teenage boy food sensors to lead us to Iccirus City?"

Hilbert closed his eyes and raised his arm, dropping it swiftly and pointing in a seemingly random direction. "That way."

Well, long story short, Hilbert had gotten them more lost than before. It was Liepard, and a Boldore she'd befriended, that led them safely out of the mountain, into the sunset of Iccirus City.

"You're a genius, Liepard," Hilbert cooed, scratching his kitty behind the ear.

The Pokemon made a soft Liepard-call, as if to say, "I know."


	22. Frozen in Iccirus City

**So. We've made it this far. It's really weird to think the story's already more than half over.**

The twins met up with Cheren at the Iccirus City Pokemon Center, and the three left their Pokemon to be healed and fed as they went to get their own food at a restaurant across from the Pokemon Center. Like all teenage boys in fictionland, Hilbert and Cheren fell on their food like a pair of starved wolves, while Hilda watched in amazement, stunned beyond normal capacity for movement as ketchup dripped from her French fries onto her shirt.

"Um...Cheren? Did you forget to eat again?"

Now that he wasn't dying of hunger anymore, Cheren had returned to coherent thought, and offered his friend a small smile. "Possibly."

Hilda rolled her eyes and returned to her meal, knowing that the behavior was a trademark of her brother's. "You shouldn't do that, you know."

"Shut up."

Hilbert asked something, but because his mouth was so packed with chewed mush, Cheren couldn't understand him. Fortunately, Hilda could translate, having had years of practice in this department.

"When are you planning on getting your next badge, Cheren?" she translated, just as curious as her brother.

"Tomorrow," Cheren said immediately. "I'm going to go get Bianca, get her safely through the mountain."

"Aww, how cute," Hilda taunted, licking the salt from her fries off of her fingers. "Cheren's getting concerned."

"I don't want her father changing his mind again."

Hilbert swallowed, then started singing. "Cheren and Bianca, sitting in a tree..."

"I thought I told you guys to shut up."

"...K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Hilbert finished, as if Cheren hadn't spoken.

"Way to go," Cheren said, pretending that he wasn't embarrassed by the song, or by the strange looks being thrown in the trio's direction from nearby people and Pokemon alike. "You've finally learned to spell."

And then he felt the (unfortunately familiar) sensation of a plastic fork making contact with his skin, as Hilbert 'ate his flesh.'

* * *

The next morning, Cheren left to go back to Mistralton and find Bianca, but neither of the siblings wanted to go back to that confusing maze, so they found other ways to train.

"I caught a Stunfisk!" Hilda cheered, waving the pancake-fish-thing around in the air. She'd already scanned it - male, with a pretty sucky moveset. Not that she cared much, of course, since she could easily teach him better attacks. She returned her new catch to the safety of his ball, before stepping out of the giant puddle that made Iccirus City such a wonder to behold. "So, ready to face the Gym yet?"

"No. You have a new Pokemon, so I want one, too." He paused to stare, at the various Stunfisk and Shelmet splashing around, before starting to head out on his way. "I'm gonna go see if there's anything up ahead."

"All right. I'll stay here and train Stunfisk and Litwick. Have fun."

And Hilbert started off, out of the city, where he came to find a patch of grass that looked like it could be home to a few Pokemon. Maybe, if he invaded their territory...

He took a ball from his belt, releasing whatever happened to be inside of it. He smiled at the tiny creature. "Ready to train, Pidove?"

Pidove chirped his agreement and took his place in front of his trainer, secretly hoping that Hilbert would send out another Pokemon if necessary.

* * *

N was sulking again, and Ghetsis was annoyed. As usual.

"I already told you, you can touch it later."

"It's not the stone."

Ghetsis had a theory as to what was going through his king's head, and the boy's lost attention span just seemed to confirm the idea. "Don't tell me you're thinking about the girl again," he said, and N returned to reality to look ashamed.

"Sorry. I cannot tell a lie. But I just can't keep my mind off of her for long."

"Obviously," Ghetsis stated, annoyed. "Look, I've told you multiple times: She is a trainer. They are all monsters -"

"Not Hilda."

"Not that you know of," Ghetsis said through his teeth, before returning to his original point. "Why waste your energy on a girl like her? In fact," Ghetsis said, falling back in the traveling group to speak to N more clearly, "why waste your time on women at all? Team Plasma's king has no time for romantic attachments, after all."

"It's not romantic at all!" N insisted, triggering a rather impolite statement from Zoroark that N pretended he didn't hear. "I've been thinking about her place in this story. And I've come to a conclusion. What if she's the one?"

For a moment, Ghetsis honestly couldn't think of what was meant. "The one for what?"

"Reshiram, of course. What if she's the hero of truth?"

"N," Ghetsis started, sounding much more like a father than he ever had before. "We all know you are the chosen one. This girl, Helga or Harriet or whatever her name is, she's just an obstacle in your way. You don't want to let down your team because of some girl?"

"No, but -"

"Excellent. Now, pick up your toys and let's move out."

* * *

"Bad Stunfisk!" Hilda cried, smoothing down her hair as the rogue creature zapped it again. A man in the Pokemon Center had told her that their personalities didn't match at all, and that the Stunfisk was much happier leading his lazy life before she'd captured it, but she refused to listen. That could easily be someone N had ordered to convince trainers to free their Pokemon. "You don't have to like me right from the start, but you'd better have a _darn_ good reason before electrocuting me."

Stunfisk merely flopped around, pretending to be a Magikarp. Perhaps the guy was right, after all...

"Are you ok?"

Hilda looked back, staring as Hilbert approached with his brand-new Mienfoo and recently-evolved Tranquill. "Um..."

"Doesn't look like it," he continued, looking back at the Stunfisk. "You might want to brush your hair before Grimsley and N see you and think you're a swamp creature."

Hilda glanced back at her rebellious Stunfisk, before getting an idea. "How mad do you think N would be if I sold it on ebay?"

Hilbert had no idea where that statement came from, but he didn't really care. "Fairly to pretty darn."

Mienfoo snickered, but quickly returned to her ball once she realized that her trainer's sibling may not be a nice person. She'd heard stories from Pokemon that had been released...

Litwick waved his tiny arms around as he tried once more to explain to the fish-like creature just _why _they needed to be alert and ready at any given moment, but Stunfisk just fell asleep. Litwick responded by calling him a name that their trainer would have scolded him for if she could understand it, spit a fireball at his new teammate, and returned to his own Poke Ball before Stunfisk could retaliate.

Hilda noticed none of this. "Do you think we can trade? Stunfisk for Mienfoo?"

"But...but I caught her. I want to keep her."

"You could use another male on your team..."

"And what if I like being surrounded by ladies?" Hilbert challenged, much to his sister's humiliation.

The girl recalled her Stunfisk. "What about temporarily? I've heard the Gym Leader here uses Ice-type Pokemon, and Litwick and Zebstrika alone won't do me much good. Please?"

"And if Mienfoo doesn't know any Fighting-type moves?"

But, after meeting Hilda and being promised a big cookie (human food!) and to be returned to her original trainer as soon as the battle was won, as all the siblings' trades went, Mienfoo agreed to help out in a gym battle. It wouldn't be too hard, would it?

* * *

The Gym Leader's name was Brycen, the sign said, and the citizens of Iccirus City had informed our protagonists that he used to be a movie star. Well, it kind of looked like there had been a malfunction in his costume department - the man was wearing what looked like half a bathrobe as a shirt, and his mask looked like it made it difficult for him to see. But he didn't complain as he watched his newest challengers slip and slide on the battlefield, and in fact barely smiled as Hilbert landed on his stomach and couldn't get back up. Obviously, very little could amuse him.

"Are you sure you're prepared?" he asked his challenger, and Hilda smiled widely.

"If not, I guess we'll find out the hard way, won't we?"

"Very well," Brycen agreed, and sent out his first Pokemon. Vanillish was a ridiculous creature that looked like an ice cream cone with two faces, and it seemed to be enough to send out Litwick to take care of.

"All right, Litwick! Use Flame Burst!"

The tiny candle-like creature spat a small fireball at Vanillish, who retaliated with a Frost Breath. Litwick shivered, and his head flame flickered, but he survived, and was ready to make his next move.

"Use Inferno!" Hilda commanded, and Hilbert watched in amazement as Litwick summoned a storm of fire that was easily four times his size, possibly five or even six. Of course, a fire that big tends to block the sight of the creature using it, and the big ball of flaming death missed Vanillish completely and almost hit Brycen, who fortunately stepped aside just in time.

"Mirror Shot," Brycen instructed, as if he nearly got incinerated every day. Which might actually be the case, since fire was a popular way to beat ice. The Vanillish's attack hit its target, and Litwick almost fell in defeat. However, he had one more Inferno up his sleeve, and this time he aimed a bit to the right of where he recalled Vanillish was. The attack struck its opponent, and the floating ice cream cone crashed to the ground, obviously burned.

"Now use Hex!" Hilda commanded, and the little tiny ghost finished off the ice cream, proving that size truly doesn't matter in the long run.

Brycen recalled Vanillish, noticing that Litwick was barely standing. He thought about commenting, but trusted the girl to make her own decisions and sent out a Cryogonal.

Hilda noticed her candle was nearly out, too. "Great job, Litwick! Come back and let Mienfoo take your place!"

Litwick happily returned to his portable home, while Mienfoo thought only of the cookie Hilbert had promised her. Hilda gets a badge, she gets a whole one, but if not, she's stuck with only half...and the other half goes to Tommy. Her left ear twitched in irritation as she thought of the drooling moron of a Samurott. She was _not_ going to lose this.

"Mienfoo, use Force Palm!"

The Fighting-type Pokemon lunged at the giant snowflake, smacking it hard before returning to Hilda's side of the field, while Cryogonal retaliated with a Rapid Spin. However, any damage done to Mienfoo was healed by Drain Punch, and Cryogonal fell with a loud thud.

Brycen's last Pokemon was a Beartic, a huge polar bear with an ice beard, fierce-looking and determined to win this for its master.

"Drain Punch!" Hilda commanded, and the adorable little critter lunged forward, paw curling into a fist, and smashed Beartic in the beard.

Though the attack was super-effective, the opponent still stood, and took out the borrowed creature with one Brine. Litwick fell next, not even pulling off an attack, leaving Hilda's hopes to rest on Zebstrika. Fortunately, he had Flame Charge, Stomp, and a pair of Electric moves.

Unfortunately, if he were to lose, she was doomed.

* * *

Well, you could imagine what happened next. Zebstrika managed to pull off a victory by the skin of his teeth, leaving Mienfoo thrilled that she wouldn't have to share her cookie with Tommy after all. And Litwick...

"He's evolving after he lost?" Hilda squeaked, startling Brycen with the high-pitched noise.

"Yes, that has been known to happen on occasion," Brycen stated, but Litwick, now a Lampent, didn't seem to mind as he hovered near his trainer's head, happy that Hilbert had given him a Revive after he'd been defeated.

The Freeze Badge now glinting happily among Hilda's other, slightly dirty badges, the team left the gym(Hilda squealing that she was only one badge away from the Elite Four and Alder) to make the return trade, only to be stopped by Cheren and Bianca.


	23. Rise of the Red-Eyes Black Dragon

**The other writer did this whole chapter on her own, instead of just doing part of the rough draft and all of the editing. She'd like me to inform you that it is one of the most serious things she's written in years.**** By her usual standards, that's not saying much.**

"Isn't it amazing?" Bianca squealed immediately. "We didn't start too long ago, and now here we are! We've come a long way from Nuvema Town."

"That came completely out of nowhere," Hilbert stated, but was pleased to see his friends anyway. "So, Cheren, are we still ahead of you?"

"Only for the moment," was the emotionless reply, as his Emboar snorted behind him. "Bianca is more important than strength."

Hilda smirked. "I didn't think anything was more important than strength, Cheren."

"Just a bit," he corrected himself, but Bianca just laughed it off.

"Oh, you are _such_ a sillyhead!" she giggled, ruffling his hair. "It's ok, though. That's why we like you so much."

"I am not a sillyhead!" the boy protested, sounding very much like a child. Not that he would admit to it if Hilda called him on it. "I have six Gym Badges, you know."

"So do I, you know," Bianca said simply, before leaning over to whisper in his ear. "And Hilda has seven," she teased, and he playfully pushed her away.

"So this is how you repay me for making sure your dad knows you're safe. Taunting me for falling behind looking after you."

"Care to explain why you're all here?"

The kids looked up to see Brycen standing there, his path from the gym blocked by the four Nuvema Town natives. "Sorry about this," Hilda tried to explain, but Brycen didn't seem to be paying attention to the kids.

"Why don't you show yourselves?" he called out, confusing the teenagers until they saw a blur of movement, followed by the arrival of three dangerous-looking young men dressed as ninjas. Hilbert remembered them as the people that led him through Chargestone Cave, and had later dragged N away.

"Very impressive, Gym Leader," one of the ninjas stated. "It's not easy for a person to detect us."

"Why were you stalking these children?" Brycen demanded, which apparently stumped the trio.

"Uh..." a second ninja thought out loud. "Our king. He's at Dragonspiral Tower."

"No one can get into Dragonspiral Tower," Brycen objected. "There's no _door_."

"Maybe it was Celestial Tower?" a third ninja suggested, but the first shook his head.

"Can't be. I distinctly remember hearing 'Dragonspiral Tower.' That's where Ghetsis was taking the thing he wouldn't let us touch."

Cheren turned to the others, a small smile threatening to break out on his usually emotionless face. "Either way, it sounds like fun. Let's go take down PETA."

"Team Plasma isn't PETA!" Hilbert objected, but his sister dragged him off to trade back. They had a mission, after all.

* * *

"Well. This is unexpected."

Cedric Juniper stood before Dragonspiral Tower, which had lowered a gigantic bridge in the hopes of allowing people to enter the tower. Brycen was right, there was no door. There was just a giant hole with the bridge sticking out like a tongue. "I didn't think it would ever open."

Bianca approached, noticing the crowd. "So this is Dragonspiral Tower?"

"Exactly," Cedric stated, staring hard at the building.

"And Cheren tried to prove himself by going in after them?"

"Yes."

"Stupid male," Bianca sighed. She turned to the twins, smiling apologetically. "I think you two will be better at bringing him back than I will," she stated. "I'm not strong like you, Hilda."

"You're strong enough," Hilda protested, but then she thought of N getting whatever ancient power that was kept in Dragonspiral Tower, using it to realize Team Plasma's dream, and forcing her to part with Erika and the others. She couldn't let that happen. "All right, I'll get him. But you owe me for this!"

Hilbert looked around, before trying to walk away. Hilda and Cheren could take care of themselves, right? Of course right. So he was completely justified in trying to get away. It's not like they'd _need_ him, or anything...

"Are you really planning on leaving them to the forest gods?" Bianca challenged, not even looking at him.

Well, when she put it that way, he might as well hurry up after Brycen and help out his friend and sister.

* * *

"Are you sure you sent the Shadow Triad out to find them?"

Ghetsis felt the urge to wrap his hands around the young king's throat, but he held back. The boy was necessary, he reminded himself. Irritating, yes, and more than a little difficult to deal with, but surely all teenagers were like that. "Yes, yes, I sent them to track down your so-called friends," Ghetsis said, and N's mood became much more tolerable. "Believe me, I understand the urge to show off, especially something as grand as this. But remember, the ninjas are easily distracted and your friends might not make it in time."

"And are you sure I have to go alone?"

"You'll have some grunts to protect you. Perhaps even a Sage. Giallo _has_ been complaining of boredom recently, we might as well give him something to do." And with that, he wandered off, muttering to himself.

Seconds later, Sage Giallo arrived. "Lord N. The time has come."

"But I wanted to gloat a little," N said. "I dared the girl to try to stop me. I want her to know what she'll be up against, and if she'll back down."

"If we wait any longer, sir, we might miss our only opportunity," Giallo reminded him.

N didn't object this time. Hilbert and Hilda were coming - he could already hear her voice, echoing in the lower chamber. She'd only be a few minutes late, he told himself. Ignoring the strange sense of dread that was creeping up his spine, he took a calming breath and followed Giallo to the top of the tower.

Cheren barely missed his chance to catch him.

* * *

"I don't have time to use Strength," Hilda protested, as she and Hilbert leaned on the giant boulder together in the hopes of moving it themselves. No good. Time to improvise. She pulled out two red and white balls and threw them up at the ledge Cheren had just disappeared from. "Swadloon, Erika! You two pull us up!"

The two obeyed, Erika pulling Hilbert up with Vine Whip while Swadloon wrapped her trainer's arm with String Shot and pulled. The siblings crashed to the ground, and the two sheepish Pokemon returned to their balls.

"Again!" Hilbert cheered like a toddler, but Hilda shook her head as she pulled stray webbing off her arm.

"You said you had a brain, remember? Why don't you use it for once?"

"Party-pooper," he grumbled, adjusting his hat and staring off after Cheren. Before he could speak again, however, they heard the crashing sounds of something huge going on upstairs, followed by Cheren's arrival.

"Come on, guys," he said, gesturing wildly and nearly knocking his glasses off his face. He looked ridiculous, but the situation was too stressful to point it out. "There's tons of them up here, and I can't fight them all alone."

"Where did Brycen go?" Hilbert asked him instead. It was a valid question, really - Hilda hadn't seen the Gym Leader since he'd followed her into the tower.

"He's up here with me, but there's too much for even us. Get over here!"

Hilbert called on Mienfoo, while Hilda sent out Swadloon. They knew Team Plasma grunts liked using Dark-types, so why not play type advantages?

"We can handle them here," Brycen told them once they'd arrived. "It's the ones further up that concern me."

"We can handle it," Hilbert declared. "Come on, Hilda. Let's see if we can find Castle-Man over here."

"Right. Because _Ghetsis_ is the one we should worry about."

The noise from upstairs was getting louder, and the Team Plasma people seemed to be happy about it. It was starting to scare Hilda, though Hilbert seemed to take it easier. Still, between the two of them, they managed to take down all the Team Plasma grunts that stood in their way, helped more than a little by Swadloon evolving.

Hilda's Leavanny seemed surprised at her new height, more so than her new shape. Her opponent in battle, a Liepard, took advantage of her distraction and attacked with Pursit. Forgetting, of course, that Bug-types had the advantage over Dark.

"All right, Leavanny! Finish it with Bug Bite!"

The giant mantis sprang at the Liepard, and with one long cry, the big purple kitty fell down. After congratulating their pets on a job well done, the two continued their quest to the top of the tower, only to find an old man in a robe and weird hat speaking with four grunts.

The man saw them, too. "Get them!" he ordered the minions, unaware that these two were the children N had wanted to see. "Our king must have privacy!"

As the four grunts advanced, the twins each called on their starter for a pair of simultaneous double battles.

* * *

N had always grown up hearing about how he was destined for this, but he'd never imagined how incredibly _awesome _it would be once he'd done it.

And done it he had: standing before him was a giant black dragon with glowing red eyes, a mouth full of sharp teeth and a tail sparking blue lightning. The Red-Eyes Black Dragon...the legendary Zekrom. And it was now his friend. His partner in Pokemon liberation was an unstoppable beast of pure rage.

_Let's see how Hilda handles this, _he thought to himself, and very nearly laughed out loud. It's not that he wanted to hurt her. He didn't, honestly, since she cared for her Pokemon just as much as they did for her and it would break his heart seeing them separate permanently. But perhaps Pokemon could visit, if they actually liked their old trainers? The Pokemon could keep their human friends as well as be freed from battles. Perhaps that was what was best for everyone.

And he was thinking about drifting from the mission, again. Ghetsis would not be pleased.

"Stubborn brats!" he heard Giallo growl, and Zekrom heard it, too. "You're the real bad guys here. Your Pokemon want to be freed, and you're keeping them locked away in prisons much too small for them."

"Whatever, dude." That was Hilda's voice. N couldn't stop the smile this time, knowing that the Sage's impression of both of them was very wrong. Zekrom growled, and let out a roar once the two arrived. N glanced toward the stairs to see both siblings staring at the beast, a mix of fear and awe in their eyes.

"Lovely, isn't he?" N asked, pretending he didn't notice. _They_ had nothing to fear.

"How did you manage that?" Hilda squeaked, unable to look away. Oddly, as she shook like she had in the Nimbasa Gym, N felt a strange, overwhelming urge to protect her from whatever fate awaited her. Before he got the chance, though, his new friend spoke in a language he knew neither of them would understand.

**"Bad people," **Zekrom growled, and a bolt of lightning threatened to escape the large body. N threw himself in front of the twins, blocking the attack.

"No," he ordered, and to the surprise of just about everyone, the dragon obeyed. "See, these two are _good _humans, so I need you to not fry them alive."

**"Can I fry them dead?" **N shook his head, and Zekrom assumed a position that looked rather like a stubborn child upset that he didn't get his way.

N turned back to the twins. "So, have you reconsidered my offer?" he asked, knowing the answer all along. "Team Plasma will welcome you both, and you will be under my protection from those who don't understand that you do care for Pokemon. Not one of them will hurt you." He smiled and indicated Zekrom. "After all, I don't think many subjects would turn on their king if he has a dragon of legend."

"You're the king of Team Plasma?" Hilbert gasped, and Tommy's shocked "Samurott?" echoed the question. Hilbert smacked his forehead. "I should have figured it out by now," he grumbled. "Stupid brain. Why couldn't you put the clues together?"

N ignored the other boy, focusing only on his sister. "Please?" he asked, nearly a whisper. "Something brought you here. Call it what you will...fate, destiny -"

"My brother?"

N pretended he hadn't been interrupted at all. "You and Serperior, Hilbert and Samurott...you'll never have to separate permanently. Just let them come and go as they please. We could always use more people like you. Just consider it."

"Don't accept, Hilda," Hilbert ordered. "When have our experiences with Team Plasma ever been good?"

"Who said I was going to accept?" she demanded, glaring at both of them at once. "Just because you annoy me, and I never know if you're going to be smart or stupid, and I have a serious weakness for pretty boys and really, really want to braid this guy's hair?"

"Uh...yeah," Hilbert said, as if it were obvious.

"You think I'm pretty?" N asked at the same moment, tilting his head in confusion like a curious Herdier.

"Not the point," she protested. "I'm not joining your group. Deal with it."

N extended a hand to stop Zekrom, who seemed ready to attack them again. "If you're not with me, then you're against me," he warned, summoning all that Anthea and Concordia taught him about acting. He needed it now, to hide the hurt of rejection. "Legend says that there were two warring heroes of Unova. The rules of our little contest have changed, Hilda. Find Reshiram, and we will meet again. In the meantime, I think I'll find and challenge the Champion."

And he climbed onto the dragon's back, and the two took to the skies. Hilbert tore his eyes away from the place where they'd disappeared, and saw his sister standing with a look of horror pasted on her face. "Hilda?" he called, tapping her on the shoulder, to no response. "You'll be ok, right?" Silence.

Cheren and Brycen arrived a few moments later. "What's wrong with her?" Cheren finally asked, passing his hand in front of Hilda's face.

"The love of her life turned out to be evil and flew off on a giant dragon."

Cheren groaned. "Again?"

Brycen moved forward, bringing Cheren to silence, and gently shook Hilda to bring her back to reality. "There is not much time," he said, once her eyes met his. "Come. Follow me."

Hilda fought back the tears that threatened to spill over, focusing on following the guys out of the tower. She'd thought she could be friends with the king, but apparently, some things just weren't meant to be. "Hilbert?"

"Yeah?"

"I want my mommy."

And for the first time in his life, Hilbert found himself being the responsible sibling. Hilda was the older twin, the one that always dragged his sorry butt out of trouble. Who would have guessed that she hid actual human emotions behind all that sarcasm?

"Think you can take care of her, Leavanny?" he asked the mantis, and Leavanny saluted him as she dragged her trainer along. Hilbert fell behind, releasing a Pokemon of his own.

"I need your help, Krokorok," he said, and the creature awaited her next order. "I want you to find me a new fork...made of pure silver. N led us both on, so I'm going to eat his royal werewolf flesh."

In response, Krokorok performed the best anime fall Hilbert had ever seen. There was no way this could end well.


	24. Return to the Desert of Doom

**In which big, freaky statues are everywhere.**

"What happened here?" Alder asked, arriving in time to see Hilbert, Cheren and Brycen lead a dazed and confused Hilda from the tower. "Did something hurt the girl?"

"Wasn't anybody listening to me?!" asked Hilbert. Why had he not seen this coming but was still not surprised? He tried explaining again. "All right. Here it is one more time: N is the leader of Team Plasma and rode off on a flying legendary dragon, and Hilda's sad because N is her boyfriend."

"He is not my boyfriend!" Hilda said, convincing no one. The tears in her eyes said enough. "It was barely even a crush. I was just admiring a pretty human male, that's all. Like my Grimsley worship."

Alder rolled his eyes as she said 'Grimsley worship,' making a mental note to not tell the Dark-type master about it. Grimsley found his admirers so entertaining, and Alder personally believed that the other man could use a few hits to his ego. The girl would not be a topic of discussion at the League, ever. But Grimsley wasn't the point of the conversation, and Alder knew it was his duty as Champion to pay attention.

"Back up a second," said Cedric, growing serious for the first time since the kids had met him. "What legendary dragon? You aren't talking about Reshiram or Zekrom, are you? Big, black, red eyes? Or maybe white with blue eyes?"

"Yeah, we are." Hilda wiped the tear stains off her face, looking up at the adults. "He has Zekrom, and I'm afraid he'll use it. How can we stop him before he forces us all to part with our Pokemon?"

"There is one way to defeat a legendary dragon," Alder said, drawing everyone's attention. "With the other dragon. The legend of Unova says that the hero of truth and the hero of ideals fought and used the dragons to do it. One dragon was not more powerful than the other, but it was the only hope they had of standing up to each other. We have to find Reshiram."

"How are we going to get it?" asked Cheren, reminding everyone that he and Bianca were still there. "It's not like we actually know where it is, and a giant white dragon can't be the easiest thing to hide."

"But I do have an idea," Alder said, returning to his usual relaxed state. "Last I heard, the dragon was resting at Relic Castle. It shouldn't be too hard to find it, if we can look."

"But Relic Castle is in the desert on route 4," Bianca replied uncertainly, wondering if she'd have to go along on this journey.

"Back to the desert of doom?" Hilda whined, and threw herself onto a large boulder and pretended to weep like a Disney princess.

"Don't fret, Hilda," said Hilbert, patting her on the shoulder. "I'll take care of this."

Hilda cried even harder.

* * *

Ghetsis knew the kids could interfere with his plan, and he was not pleased. Specifically about the girl - he was truly impressed that the boy could walk and talk at the same time. But N had challenged them to find Reshiram, the counterpart dragon, and therefore sent Ghetsis on another impossible mission - more specifically, finding the Light Stone.

Of course, N hadn't specifically ordered that Ghetsis find the Light Stone. In fact, the man suspected that he would be rather upset with this. But honestly, Ghetsis didn't care. As long as the girl did not get her hands on Reshiram, he would deal with the boy's anger.

Besides, what could N really do to him?

"Finally. After all that crap we are _finally _here." Ghetsis nearly fainted, but the grunts that had followed him were not surprised. Two hours of wandering aimlessly through a sandstorm, plus another hour of yelling at grunts, and another twenty-seven minutes complaining about teenagers would take a lot out of a man.

"How are we going to get past them?" a grunt asked, pointing to a group of sleeping Darmanitan locked in Zen Mode.

Ghetsis knocked on one of them, but it did not wake. Ghetsis kicked it. Still did not wake. "Leave it," he stated, pushing the grunts forward. "We have work to do."

* * *

A nice man in Iccirus City lent the twins an Abra to teleport them to Nimbasa City, where they headed south into the Desert of Doom. Cheren came along, but Bianca promised to stay behind with Brycen and Cedric. He led the way, but of course he lost them both after about ten minutes.

On the one hand, Hilda was an excellent navigator most of the time, and led them to what appeared to be an entrance to an underground castle. On the other, she immediately recognized the egg-shaped objects in front of said entrance.

Now, next to roller coasters, there were very few things this girl was afraid of - the addictive chills of horror movies only lasted until the credits rolled. But when she was six years old, she'd had a bad experience with a group of wild Darmanitan, and she'd never quite recovered from it. So, when she realized that these supposed statues were sleeping monsters, she let out a scream and hid behind her brother.

"M-maybe...maybe we should go," she whimpered, peeking over his shoulder to make sure they weren't waking up and coming to get her.

"This from the girl who can watch a six-hour _Nightmare on Elm Street_ marathon and sleep through the whole night," Hilbert huffed. "Come on. They're sleeping. Move quietly, and you won't even notice them."

"Easy for you to say," she complained, backing up a little. "You go in. I'll wait back in Nimbasa's Pokemon Center."

There was a sudden flash of light as Zebstrika burst free of his ball, landing in front of the twins. Hilbert caught on immediately.

"All right. Hilda, get on Zebstrika's back. He can carry you down to the bottom."

Hilda still seemed unsure, so Hilbert took it upon himself. He and Zebstrika worked together to force her onto the zebra's back, where she hid her face in his staticky mane.

"Don't open your eyes until you feel him come to a stop," Hilbert warned, and led Zebstrika past the sleeping creatures.

* * *

They made it to the bottom of the steps, but none of them knew the way through the twists and turns of Relic Castle. There was no map, no tour guide, and no way out.

Well, there was a way out, but that would require going past the Darmanitan again, and Hilda did not want to go through that again.

Zebstrika glanced around, seeing nothing but Sandile and Yamask and Team Plasma grunts. Not a single clue as to where Reshiram could be. He was starting to think this whole idea was stupid. He wasn't aware he was approaching a dangerous sand trap until he heard his trainer's voice.

"Careful, Zebstrika," Hilda warned, calling him back into his pretty pink ball. She barely had time to put him away before she had to pull Hilbert away from the very same sand trap before he could fall and get lost.

"What was that for?"

"It's the same thing I just warned my Zebstrika about, stupid! Come on, let's go see if there's a safer route somewhere."

However, their luck ran out when a Team Plasma grunt cornered them, a wicked smile dancing across his face. They knew immediately that they had no choice - they had to fight their way out.

After a long series of battles against the grunt army and the inescapable need to fall down the sand holes to reach their destination, they reached the bottom chamber, where they heard a somewhat familiar male voice.

"Where is it? _Where is it?_"

Even Tommy knew who it was, though not quite what he was searching for, and led the protagonists to the room. Alder was there, looking very much like someone had spit in his face, but Ghetsis paid no attention to him as he continued his mad search.

"It's not here? Impossible!" Ghetsis cried. He turned to the small group of grunts behind him, ignoring the twins and the Champion. "Let's get out of here."

"We did that for nothing?!" Hilda said angrily. "I went near a Darmanitan for _nothing_?"

"It's ok, Hilda," Alder said. "If Reshiram isn't here, it must be somewhere safe. We'll just have to look elsewhere."

But he didn't seem too sure.

"We went down here for nothing," Hilda repeated, getting steadily more upset as she thought about the possibilities.

"Team Plasma hasn't won yet," Hilbert reminded her. "What were they looking for, anyway?"

"Something called the Light Stone," Alder explained. "You missed it. Ghetsis threw a tantrum and ran away when he found out it wasn't here."

"Oh." Hilbert thought it over, then shrugged. "I don't know what a Light Stone is, but maybe Lenora does. She likes history stuff, right?"

Alder seemed to cheer up immediately. "And she has that skeleton in the museum! That could be Reshiram's remains! Perhaps we could use some of that fossil restoration technology and bring it back to life?"

"The fossil was of a Dragonite," Hilda pointed out, "but I see no harm in going to visit Hawes and Lenora. I still haven't quite forgiven her and Burgh for putting us through torture for the skull..."

Hilbert cringed. "Nothing quite like a dragon hunt with a side of revenge, is there?"

Hilda smiled innocently. "Of course not, darling little brother. And once I get my vengeance on a certain pair of Gym Leaders, I shall move on to Team Plasma."

Alder laughed, placing a hand on each sibling's head. "You kids today and your dragons and revenge plots. All right - let's go to Nacrene City!"


	25. Shiny White Rocks Named Eggber

**Except for those who had spoilers, who expected this thing to be important in the first run of the game? I sure didn't. Hilda clearly didn't, either.**

* * *

Alder led the two to Nacrene City, where they found Hawes and Lenora tidying up the museum. Upon noticing the guests, however, Lenora dropped the broom in her hands and asked the Champion what was wrong.

"Nothin' too bad," Alder said, apparently unconcerned. "Just the end of the world as we know it."

"Oh, is that all?" Lenora didn't seem that concerned, either, and offered them a place to sit. "What brings it on this time?"

"Team Plasma got their hands on the legendary Zekrom," Alder explained. He ran a hand through his ridiculous hair, before growing more serious. "Our only hope was to find Reshiram, and there was absolutely nothing. Not a hint."

Hawes glanced back at the twins, noticing Hilbert had returned to Eggber while Hilda stared at the Dragonite skeleton - in one piece once again, thanks to the hard work of her and her brother. "And where did you think Reshiram could be hiding?" he asked, waiting for anyone to answer.

"Brycen checked Dragonspiral Tower, and the kids and I went back to Relic Castle. Nowhere."

"A lot of interesting things can be found in Relic Castle," Hawes stated. "That's where we found 'Eggber,' as Hilbert likes to call it."

Lenora straightened up as her husband's words registered with her, and she turned to him with a mixture of irritation and amusement in her eyes that Alder had previously only believed his ex-wife to be capable of. "We found Eggber in Relic Castle?"

"What's wrong with that?" Hawes demanded, squirming under the stare like any man would. "You were the one who found it, remember?"

Lenora thought back. The memories were hazy, yes, but eventually she found it. It was just before she and Hawes had gotten married, before she'd become a Gym Leader. The pretty white stone had seemed to call her, and it was ancient enough to put in the museum. But nothing had ever happened.

"Huh," she said as she returned to the present, as the men's eyes focused on her. "That's true. But you don't think...?"

"Could be," Alder stated, understanding what she was trying to say. "Maybe it just didn't choose you two."

Hilda tore her eyes away from the skeleton to watch the grown-ups carefully. "What are you guys saying?"

"What if Eggber is Reshiram?"

Hilda blinked. She glanced at Hilbert, who met her gaze and gave her a proud _I told you this thing was important_ look. "No. It can't be."

Alder chuckled. "The girl's probably right. So, with that out of the way...got any beer, Lenora?"

"We have wine."

"That'll do."

* * *

Zekrom sat in front of the television, watching and waiting for N and Ghetsis to finish their discussion. Something about that Hilda character and how she was a distraction from the mission. The dragon couldn't care less, but the voices were carrying.

**"Is this frequent?"** he asked Zoroark as the fox turned up the television they were watching.

**"Way more so than it used to be,"** Zoroark replied, stretching out across the ground. **"Still not frequent enough to get concerned."**

Zekrom decided that Zoroark would probably know better than he would, and the two Pokemon returned to the show. It was a very interesting program, actually, and when N entered the room, Zekrom had turned to him with a request: **"Do you have any Pecha Berry smoothies?"**

"That came completely out of nowhere," N said, staring at the beast. He was amazed it could even fit into the castle, but he wasn't going to fight it. "Are you really that desperate?"

**"Well, it's either a smoothie or a nickname. Take your pick as to which one you want to give me."**

"And why would you want a nickname? Isn't that just proof of a trainer's power over Pokemon?"

**"The Serperior has one, doesn't she?"** Zoroark questioned, but N ignored him once more. Fine, then. If the guy was going to ignore one of his best friends, Zoroark would just give him a taste of his own medicine. That should get an apology.

"You're a legendary Pokemon," N was saying instead. "You're better than we humans could ever hope to be."

**"While both of those statements are undoubtedly true,"** said Zekrom, stretching out a large black wing, **"the fact is, some Pokemon actually like the names their trainers gave them. It's been going on since the last time I was awake. In the meantime, I think I want you to call me Joey. That sounds fun."**

N glanced at the television, and understanding dawned on him. "Zoroark's watching stupid shows again, isn't he?"

**"It's not stupid!"** Zoroark protested, forgetting his decision to ignore N.** "It's non-intellectual programming for humans to -"**

"Pointless," N insisted. "I thought we would be preparing to take on the Champion."

**"We're lazy."**

**"And you have me,"** Zekrom stated. **"There's no need to train."**

He was probably right. No need to get worked up about things when he had a legendary dragon.

N let his mind wander as the two Pokemon went back to watching Gorm's TV, unaware of the sound or pictures himself. As it often did, his mind wandered to the twins, Hilda in particular. They'd come so far...he wasn't sure he could deal with sending them home. And if they managed to find Reshiram, then he should be on his guard.

But why did he not see Hilda as the enemy? Ghetsis had insisted that he should recognize her for the monster she really was, or that she would become if she hadn't already, and Hilbert was easy enough to forget when he wasn't in the room. Rood had just waved him on, assuring him that he would do what was right.

But it was Anthea and Concordia that had been the worst of them all. They had been older sisters to him for years, and like any siblings would, they'd laughed in his face and tormented him with questions. "Is the girl pretty? Does her smile make your chest feel funny? Would she make a good queen?"

He hadn't really answered any of them, but they took his silence as a yes in all three counts and encouraged him to talk to her.

He couldn't, though, not yet. He needed another opinion before he confessed his undying love, someone who _wasn't _one of the so-called goddesses. He'd speak to the Serperior again, he decided. Perhaps she'd put aside her mischievous streak for the sake of a person's sanity.

Then again, perhaps Hilbert's Samurott would be a better choice in a conversation partner. At least Tommy wouldn't understand it enough to mock him.

* * *

"So you're saying that the _rock_ is a dragon?"

Cheren's facial expression was priceless, but Bianca was the only one who managed a laugh. "Why not?" she asked, smiling a little as her optimism shone through. "I read something in a book once: 'Once you've eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.' And since Reshiram hasn't been seen in years, and Brycen couldn't find it in Dragonspiral Tower, and no one could find it in Relic Castle, it's worth a shot."

Cheren didn't seem convinced, and gestured at the rock in question. "But Bianca, it's a _rock._"

Lenora held Eggber carefully in her hands. It felt just as cold and lifeless as ever. Perhaps if she handed it to the kids...

Each of the four held it, not one of them unleashing the giant white dragon of legend. Hilda sighed and gently placed it in a box in her bag, Lenora granting permission to take it.

"Eggber just needs some time to hatch, that's all," Hilbert stated, but Hilda could tell he was starting to lose hope himself. "Come on. You're just one badge short of entry to the League. Grimsley, remember?"

"I don't care about Grimsley! I want to find a way to keep Erika, and Zebstrika and Leavanny and..." she trailed off, staring at the wall for a moment, before rushing into the gym's bathroom, not wanting her friends to see her cry. Bianca waited a while longer, her eyes flashing from Cheren to Hilbert and back, before following, Hilda's bag in her hands.

The boys and the adults tried to continue the conversation anyway, and Cheren turned on his tranceiver so the girls could hear.

"If only we knew a Dragon Master," Alder said. "They should know something about this."

Lenora brightened as she was struck with a new idea. "But we _do_ know a Dragon Master, Alder," she said, before giving Hilbert some complicated instructions. He blinked, then looked back at Lenora.

"Tell her what now?"

Lenora buried her face in both hands, stunned at this boy's idiocy. "You said Hilda was one badge short of taking on the Elite Four, right?" she repeated, and Hilbert nodded vigorously.

"Yeah..."

"There's a Gym in Opelucid City that specializes in Dragon-types. The Gym Leaders there might know how to hatch Eggber, if my theory is correct."

"So you're saying Hilda could go and get a badge while they try to hatch this 'Eggber' thing." Cheren offered.

"Precisely." Lenora smiled. "I like you, kid. You catch on fast."

Cheren glanced down at his tranceiver, seeing both Hilda and Bianca on the screen. "You hear that, Hilda?"

"I heard. Opelucid City." Her face disappeared from his screen, and she reappeared among the crowd seconds later. She readjusted her hat and smiled. "Well, what are we waiting for? Opelucid awaits."


	26. Trading Daze

**In which Hilda's Stunfisk moves on to a better place.**

**Happy Easter, everyone.**

As it turns out, Opelucid City was pretty far away, and the Abra that the twins had borrowed had already teleported back to its trainer. So, as Alder, Cheren and Bianca left, Hilda realized that they were at a dead end.

"Can you guys give us a ride?" she asked Hawes and Lenora, but both of them said they had to guard the museum in case someone came for Eggber.

"Burgh might, though," Lenora offered. "He has no problem with cars, and if you can catch him without a challenger, I'm sure he'd be more than willing to help people save the world."

"Perfect. But I can't call him, so could you do it?"

"Don't listen to her, Lenora," Hilbert warned. "She's sworn revenge on him for making us take the long way to find your skull while he guarded the short path."

Stunfisk snorted, and Lampent smacked him on the head. Surely the Burgh person couldn't be all bad. Besides, even if he was, how would Stunfisk know that?

But Lenora returned from asking her friend to handle them, and shook her head sadly. "He says he has plans he can't cancel, and that Hilda scares him."

"I'm not that mean!" Hilda protested, and Hilbert had to force himself to keep his mouth shut. This was no time for jokes.

"So, we're going to have to walk again, aren't we?" he said instead, just to use up the breath that threatened to break his lungs if he held it in longer.

"I'm afraid so."

Hilda turned to the window, stroking her imaginary goatee as she tried to think. She didn't want to walk _all the way back _to Iccirus, just to walk more to get to Opelucid. There had to be some way.

Without warning, she grabbed Hilbert by the shoulder and smiled brightly. "You still have Tranquill, right?"

"Yeah."

"He could use Fly to take us to Iccirus City. Cheren told me that Opelucid is just a few hours away from Iccirus, and that's on foot. If he can carry us to a previous destination..."

"But a Pokemon using Fly can barely take one person! Maybe Tranquill can fly with me, and Lampent can carry you. Or maybe Stunfisk can fly."

"Lampent can't carry a human, and Stunfisk would just drop me as soon as we got high enough," Hilda reminded him. "Maybe Tranquill can take you, and you send him back here, and I heal him to give him enough energy to take me?"

Lenora shook her head sadly and picked up the phone again, and returned a few minutes later. "Skyla's sending over a Swanna for Hilda to borrow so you don't tire out your Tranquill."

"That'll work."

"Why doesn't she give us a ride in her TARDIS, other than the whole 'not meant for passengers' stuff?" Hilbert asked, and his sister rolled her eyes.

"Because it got stolen by the Daleks, duh."

"Oh. That makes sense."

* * *

As soon as they arrived in Iccirus City, Hilda waving good-bye to Swanna as the bird returned to its 'Time Lord' trainer, Hilbert decided it would be best for them to train some more. "Krokorok and Mienfoo want to get stronger," he explained, "and Liepard's getting anxious."

"All right. I'm going to go on the global trade thing and see if anyone wants my Stunfisk."

"You shouldn't just give up on him!" Hilbert whined, but Hilda held up a hand to stop him

"I'm not giving up on him," she stated, rather harshly. "I'm giving him the opportunity to be with a trainer better suited for his...personality." She glanced back down at the creature in question, who merely made a face at her and disappeared, off to find something better to do. "Besides, I asked him first, and I take his electrocuting me as a yes."

"That could be how he shows affection."

"Uh, _affection_ would be a gentle zap. _Attempted murder_ is more like it."

"What would N think about this?" Hilbert asked, and found himself on the receiving end of the most pitiful look of hurt and anger he'd ever seen on his sister's face. He realized, too late, that N was a subject she was not willing to talk about just yet.

"Still," Hilda stated as she recovered from her moment of weakness, pretending it never happened, "Stunfisk and I are going to get him registered for a permanent trade, and then he gets to pick his new trainer." She turned to the creature. "You do want to see if anyone wants you as a pet, am I right?"

Stunfisk hopped up and down, delighted at the thought. He didn't like battling, and in truth was horrible at it. Not to mention his little rivalry with Lampent. Still, he knew that the kids needed two full teams in order to save the world. Maybe he could get traded for a strong Pokemon...

Hilbert shrugged, turning to his own pets. "All right. Krokorok, you seem close to evolution. Want to try to see if you'll make it today?"

Krokorok snapped into a salute, glad he let her off of the quest to find a silver fork. Beside her, Liepard let out an irritated cry, and Hilbert knelt down to pet her head.

"You'll all get some time on the battlefield, of course," he said, and she purred.

* * *

Hilbert was determined to help Krokorok become a Krookodile that day, and so was she. Neither of them was willing to stop until she'd reached her final form, which took all day despite both of them insisting it was 'just a bit further.' Mienfoo just shook her head sadly and wandered into Twist Mountain to take on some Boldore, knowing she could find them if she needed to.

The trio returned to the Pokemon Center at the end of the day to find Hilda and Stunfisk searching together for a better home for him, a rare moment of friendship between the unfortunately mismatched pair. Lampent floated by the girl's head, wanting to help pick out a decent replacement.

"What about this guy?" Hilda asked, pointing at a picture of a boy. He looked about twelve, and the Pokemon he offered in return was a Throh. "You wouldn't electrocute him every day, would you?"

"Stun, Stunfisk!" the fish retorted, and made another face.

"I guess he's out of the question, then," Hilda sighed, and moved on.

Lampent pointed at the picture of another boy, offering to trade a Deerling, but Stunfisk rejected that, too. Hilbert personally couldn't believe there were people who actually _wanted _a stubborn, lazy Stunfisk, but they seemed to have more than just the two.

"What about her?" Hilda asked, indicating a picture of an old woman. "She's willing to trade a Mandibuzz that likes to battle in exchange for something that would just want to be a pet and guardian of the house, if necessary. I think you'd like that lifestyle."

Stunfisk thought it over carefully. On the one hand, he knew he probably wouldn't be able to shock Hilda anymore. On the other, if he went to the old lady, the only battling he'd have to do would be if her house got broken into, and she might have a pool he can relax in...and some grandkids to pull pranks with.

He accepted the offer, and soon the group was saying goodbyes and waiting for Mandibuzz to arrive. Before he left, Stunfisk gave Hilda just a slight zap - proof she'd finally earned his obedience, just in time to send him away. Or maybe it was punishment for giving up on him, but she wasn't going to think about that. He'd be happier as a house pet than a warrior of the Champion, anyway.

"You guys sure you want to separate permanently?" Hilbert asked, and Hilda placed Stunfisk's ball in the transfer machine.

"Trust me. It's best for both of us. And hopefully for Mandibuzz, too."

"And what if Mandibuzz doesn't match you, either?"

"Then I guess I'll just have to send her to Mom, won't I?"

* * *

The old woman's name was Agnes, and her Mandibuzz arrived just on time. Hilbert had to admit, Mandibuzz did seem to match Hilda quite well - she wasn't a pretty bird, but she was kind of fascinating in a terrifying sort of way, with a strong love for battle that was demonstrated as soon as she'd arrived, when she tried to attack Tommy(unsurprisingly, no one but Hilbert actually tried to stop her). And, unlike the Pokemon she'd been traded for, she seemed pleased with Hilda and waved her wing at Agnes in farewell. Stunfisk seemed happy with his new trainer, too, and the two humans exchanged numbers in case either of them wanted to check on their Pokemon.

"Take care of her for me," Agnes requested. "She just evolved last month, and she's still getting used to her new strength."

"All right. And make sure Stunfisk has a decent outlet for his spare electricity."

The long-distance trade closed, and Hilda returned her attention to her new Pokemon. Mandibuzz was playing with Lampent, who seemed to be much happier with her than he had with Stunfisk.

Of course, Hilda found her mind wandering to N, and how he would have pitched a fit over this, but she shut down the machine and headed out to train with her new Mandibuzz, reminding herself she'd call and check up on Stunfisk later. In the meantime, she had to focus on stopping pretty-boy's plans.

* * *

N was waiting in Team Plasma's castle, with six of his closest Pokemon friends and a few Team Plasma members, attempting to put thoughts of his next move out of his mind. He was well aware of what he had to do. He just couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Lord N?"

He lifted his head from the book he was pretending to read, noticing a timid-looking female grunt. "Yes?"

"Um, there was another person offering to join our cause -"

"That's great news," N said, forcing a smile as he watched her. "Why are you so upset by this?"

"Well, you see...forgive me for saying so, my king, but this girl seemed a bit, well, less than sane."

"Less than sane? It sounds to me as if she finally saw the light."

The grunt, however, shook her head. "No, you see, she said she would join us on two very small conditions: that you let her keep her Audino as a sidekick, and...you send her pictures of yourself without a shirt."

The book fell from the king's hands as his Pokemon partners started choking on air, hiding their laughter. **"Fangirls,"** Zoroark snickered. **"Always good for a laugh."**

Finally, after much consideration, N spoke. "Am I allowed to keep my pants on?"

The grunt's mouth fell open, as she had obviously forgotten that she was in the presence of a king. "You can't be seriously considering this!" she protested, and N laughed out loud. This was an excellent distraction.

"This conversation abandoned all pretense of seriousness the moment you mentioned the request. I just want to know if I'm allowed to wear pants, should I change my mind."

"I suppose..."

"All right. Tell her that I am considering the Audino request, but I refuse to remove anything I wear. I like my clothing, and I don't want Zekrom to eat it."

Zekrom threw its hands up in irritation. **"You eat _one_ hat, and suddenly you're not trusted around humans anymore!"**

"They're making Zinzolin a new one," N reassured him. "And you are allowed near humans, it's just that the humans are generally afraid of you."

The dragon smiled, sharp teeth gleaming. **"They'd better be."**


	27. Yet Another Big Honking Bridge

**The last scene of this chapter is probably one of our shared favorite parts. Sure, Tommy's an idiot, and Erika's a meanie-head, but that's why we love writing them so much.**

**WARNING: You know how, in Black 2 and White 2, Rood gives you a Zorua but N still has Zoroark? This is an early appearance of that Zorua...mostly. It's probably always male in the games, but we changed that because I wanted a female. And because pronouns would be easier in the first scene, but mostly because I wanted a female.**

* * *

"And where have you been?"

N was filled with shock and relief. The small creature hiding in his childhood playroom hadn't been seen by anyone for weeks. He'd started to think she had died, but here she was, safe and sound.

The creature in question didn't answer at first, instead focusing on the bit of chocolate her human friend had brought her. But she couldn't give someone the cold shoulder forever, and eventually answered the question.

**"Playing with your toy trains. Waiting for you."** She looked up at him, her eyes huge and shining with fake tears. **"Why haven't you been by to play with me, N? Or you, Zoroark? You'd think that as my honorary brothers you'd take better care of me."**

"I've actually been outside. I've met quite a few interesting people. Perhaps one day you will, too."

**"You mean Mr. Rapunzel was let out of his tower? Oh, this should be good." **The little Zorua jumped onto the ground, where she watched N carefully. **"You may proceed."**

"You know, you're beginning to sound a lot like that Serperior..."

**"I'd know what Serperior you're talking about, if you actually explained things."**

**"He's trying to decide how to start,"** Zoroark stated, nodding wisely. **"I think it has something to do with the fact that he wishes the female human could be his life-mate, and he wants to do her justice."**

**"Life-mate?"** Zorua repeated, looking from one 'honorary brother' to the other, in utter shock. **"Wow. I thought Ghetsis letting you out of the castle was weird enough, but now it turns out my little Natural's gone and found himself a mate?"**

"She's not a mate!" N whined, much to the amusement of the Pokemon. "And don't say the name!"

All went silent for about twenty seconds as the human tried to think of a good starting point. And then it went downhill.

**"What does she look like, anyway?" **Zorua asked, attempting to stay on subject. **"At least tell me she's pretty."**

"I'll admit, she is...attractive...in a way..." N cleared his throat, gathering his concentration. "But there are far more fascinating things about her than her appearance. Her devotion, her determination -"

**"The fact that her hair smells like cinnamon bagels?"** Zoroark offered, and grinned widely at the irritated look on his best friend's face.

"You weren't even in that cave! How did you even know about the bagels?"

**"Oh, I was in the cave, all right," **Zoroark stated, finding great amusement in the toy trains. **"Disguised as a grunt. Then as a rock when the Serperior showed up. You should keep better track of your friends, _Natural._"**

"And you didn't even say hello? That was rude."

**"And how come _he _gets to use your real name?"** Zorua demanded, tail flicking in irritation.

"Because shut up."

* * *

"Is that your Mandibuzz?" Bianca gasped, staring at the bird in amazement.

"Yeah. She's from a trade, but I have enough badges for her to listen." Hilda smiled and reached out to pet her new friend.

Mandibuzz stared at Bianca, trying to decide if the new human would make a good snack. Or at least that's how it seemed to Bianca, since the Pokemon was really just fascinated by her hat. This particular Mandibuzz was often drawn to bright colors and shiny objects, and hadn't exactly learned to control her reactions just yet. However, the bird retreated to her ball in time to hear Bianca challenge Hilda to a battle.

"Um...no, thanks," Hilda said with a half-smile. "I just don't have that much time to waste. I have to get to Opelucid and hatch Eggber, and stop a Pokemon-rights group from forcing us all into a fate no one wants."

"But I want to show off my Samurott!" Bianca whined. "Please, Hilda?"

"I'll battle you," Hilbert offered. "Hilda can move on ahead. Brycen said that Opelucid is just on the other side of Tumbeline Bridge."

"When did you talk to Brycen?" Hilda asked, and her brother smirked.

"It's not my fault you don't pay attention. But you go ahead. I'll meet you there."

"And how can you find me?"

"Send Lampent. His kind is good at kidnapping people."

Hilda glanced back at her brother and blond friend, and then released Leavanny. "Walk with me?"

"Leavann..." the mantis purred, following Hilda through the gate and onto the metal of Tumbeline Bridge.

* * *

Hilda had to admit, Leavanny was an interesting conversation partner. Even though she couldn't understand a word, the giant bug had enough wild gestures to entertain her, and was going a mile a minute about one thing or another. She wished she had a translator, or better yet, N...

_Bad Hilda,_ she thought, the smile fading. _He's the enemy. Don't think of him._

Leavanny could sense her trainer's distress, and made a low sound to bring Hilda's attention back to Tumbeline Bridge, frantically waving her leaf arms as she tried in vain to cheer the human up. It couldn't be easy, having the fate of the world resting on your shoulders, but that's what Leavanny was there for.

It was a lost cause. Hilda returned to reality only when she felt her Pokemon come close, so close that their bodies touched. She looked over to see that Leavanny's stance seemed to be ready to protect her, the species' perpetual smile all but gone, much more a sneer. An attempt to look intimidating...

Hilda looked away from her bug to see what she was staring at, and immediately recognized the large, nearly terrifying shape.

"Castle-Man."

Almost as if he heard the whispered nickname, Ghetsis moved his head to the right, locking his bright red eye onto the girl and her Pokemon. A warm smile spread across his face, but he seemed creepier while friendly than he was when completely emotionless.

"I see you've made it," he said, apparently pleased. "Where's the boy? Weren't you traveling together?"

"He got caught up in a battle."

"I see. And you weren't there to cheer him on?" Ghetsis hung his head in shame. "You really are a bad sister, aren't you?"

"What do you want, Ghetsis?"

He approached the girl, paying no attention to Leavanny's warning hiss. "I want to speak, nothing you should worry about. You have no idea what goes on in my king's head...he seems to have this idea that he's grown to like you. I can't imagine why. Your interesting sense of humor aside, you don't have what it takes to be a queen."

"I'm sure you do, though," Hilda said casually, hiding the delight at Ghetsis's expression when he worked out the meaning behind her words.

The man dropped all pretense of friendliness, and held out a hand. "The Light Stone, woman," he snarled. "I want it."

_Think, Hilda. What would Hilbert do?_

"What Light Stone?" Hilda asked, feigning confusion. "Is that some kind of alcohol? I'm too young to drink, Ghetsis."

"The white rock from Nacrene City! Give it to me!"

"Gimme gimme never gets," Hilda stated, wagging her finger in a taunt. "Besides, what makes you so sure I have Eggber? Hilbert could have it for all you know. Or maybe Hawes and Lenora, it's their museum."

"Don't waste my time! The Light Stone is necessary for my plans!"

"How so? Your speeches seem effective enough."

Ghetsis glared, and his monocle glinted dangerously. "Do not think you have escaped me, child," he warned. "The next time we meet, there will be no more playtime."

And he was gone. Hilda and Leavanny both made faces at his back, but he didn't turn around.

* * *

"Wow, Hilbert, you've gotten good!" Bianca said, her eyes sparkling with a mixture of tears and admiration.

"Aww, come on, you beat me once. It was me that didn't want to leave until I'd won."

Bianca glanced at the sky. Night had fallen not too long ago, and Hilda was probably already in Opelucid by now. "Think you can make it without me, then?"

"I have Tommy."

Bianca rolled her eyes. "That's what I'm afraid of."

Hilbert laughed in response. "Me, too," he admitted. "But I've also got Tranquill. He can find her."

"All right, then. I'll see you later."

Hilbert, Tommy and Tranquill made it halfway across the bridge before they spotted Hilda. All of her Pokemon were out of their balls, and in the center of the circle, she stood, holding Eggber. By the looks of things, Lampent had just explained to Mandibuzz what she'd have to do now that she'd been traded to this particular girl. The bird was staring up at the stars, as if missing her old trainer and the life of luxury she'd previously been so willing to give up.

Or maybe it was in speculation of the fate that awaited her and her new friends. Hilbert wasn't the king of Team Plasma, he couldn't understand.

"What's up?"

Erika moved aside so Hilbert, Tommy and Tranquill could join in. "Ghetsis cornered me. He wants Eggber."

"Doesn't he know that N wants _us_ to hatch him?"

"Maybe. But he wants him anyway."

**"Why does Ghetsis want Eggber?"** Tommy asked the other Pokemon. **"Hilbert told me Eggber wasn't for eating."**

**"It's not,"** Zebstrika insisted, not looking away from his trainer. He wasn't a Psychic-type, but he could tell Hilda wasn't the same girl that had captured him all that time ago. It worried him a bit. **"Ghetsis probably wants this Reshiram thing and thinks that it's in Eggber. All the other humans seem to."**

**"So he wants to eat Reshiram, not Eggber?"**

**"Yes, Tommy," **Erika said, sarcasm dripping from every syllable. **"He wants to eat one of the most powerful dragons in Unova."**

**"What would a Reshiram taste like, anyway?"**

**"Bitter sarcasm and the blood of innocents. Actually quite an interesting combination..."**

**"Leave him alone, Erika,"** Leavanny ordered. **"It's not Tommy's fault he was dropped as an egg."**

**"No, Leavanny. Some Pokemon were dropped as eggs, but Tommy was clearly thrown at a wall."**

**"It's still not his fault."**

Mandibuzz was distracted from her contemplation, looking down at her new trainer's Grass-types with a look of morbid curiosity. **"Is this Pick On Samurott Day?"**

**"_Every_ day is Pick On Tommy Day," **Tranquill explained, perching on the bridge's rail beside his fellow bird.** "You get used to it after a while."**

**"I see."**

But as the other Pokemon fell silent in order to listen to their trainers decide what to do, Tommy was still catching up with the conversation. **"I don't like bitter stuff, and blood doesn't taste good, either..._what do you mean, thrown at a wall?_"**

Erika just laughed, the sound distracting the twins from their conversation.


	28. The Man with the Awesome Beard

**Drayden's beard is its own character.**

After setting up camp on Route 9, with Lampent and Mienfoo to guard them from wild Pokemon, the twins were greeted the next morning by the lights of Opelucid City. After rushing into town, however, they found a very familiar face.

"Alder?" they asked together, getting the man's attention.

The Champion shushed them with a gesture, leading them over to a crowd. "You weren't the first to reach Opelucid City," he warned them, and indicated the speaker.

It was Ghetsis, obviously, and he was surrounded by Team Plasma goons. "People of Opelucid," he began, "there is much to be gained from releasing your Pokemon. They are powerful beings, and the disgusting sport known as 'Pokemon battling' is limiting their potential. The truth of the matter is: Pokemon and humans are not meant to inhabit the same world."

"N promised Pokemon could visit their trainers if they liked them," Hilda grumbled. "Now they're putting them on another planet?"

"How would they breathe on another planet, anyway?" Hilbert asked, missing the point as usual. "I'm not really a biology person, but don't most living things need oxygen in some form?"

Ghetsis, fortunately, did not spot him, Hilda, or Alder. Instead, he finished his lecture and departed, leaving the citizens of Opelucid to scatter, considering their options.

"We can't let them take away all our Pokemon!" a somewhat familiar voice insisted, and the siblings turned to see who was speaking. Hilbert recognized the hair more than the voice, and brightened when he saw the girl.

"Hey, Iris! Haven't seen you since Castelia!"

Iris looked...uncomfortable. There was no other way to explain it. "Do I know you?"

"We helped you and Burgh get our friend's Pokemon back, in Castelia City!"

Iris blinked, trying to sort through her foggy memories. "I don't think I remember."

"Team Plasma was there! And Burgh got all serious and scary, and that Bronius guy freaked out and ran away."

"Oh, you're _those _kids." Iris didn't seem happy to see them, but she wasn't upset by it. Instead, she looked up at the man beside her. He was a tall, muscular man with a beard that covered the entire bottom half of his face, including his mouth. The twins had no idea how the man managed to eat, but his terrifying gold eyes locked on them, and they shivered in unison.

"Are you the children Lenora told me about?" he asked, still staring them down. "The ones with the Light Stone?"

"Light Stone?" Hilbert repeated, but Hilda had already started to go through her bag. Alder held out a hand to stop her.

"This area isn't safe," he pointed out, and Hilda closed the bag without even touching Eggber. "This Ghetsis fellow had ninjas, Drayden. You might want to be careful."

Iris smiled, the evil in the expression not matching with her small form. "Don't worry, Alder. I can handle any ninjas."

"I'm sure you can, but you're a child. These are grown men, but I don't think they'd keep from hitting little girls."

"I'm almost twelve, thank you, and I am not little. I'm just short." She tugged on Hilda's hand. "Come on. Let me lead you to Drayden's house. Even ninjas don't want to mess with us there."

* * *

Drayden was Opelucid's Gym Leader, and Iris turned out to be none other than the apprentice - barely certified to hand out badges herself. They explained the story of Eggber in detail, while the rock in question sat on Hilda's lap, still in its case.

"It's said that they were once one dragon," Drayden began, "but not all legends are true, so we have no idea about that one. However, it's all but confirmed that when the brothers who founded Unova fell into their infamous feud, each had a dragon siding with him. The brother who pursued truth teamed with Reshiram."

"And the brother who was looking for ideals bonded with Zekrom," Iris added. "And the fighting left all of Unova in ruins. The brothers or their sons eventually called a truce, I think, and managed to rebuild the region, but the dragons haven't been seen since."

"Well, they have, but that's Team Plasma's fault." Hilda looked down at Eggber, then back up at Drayden. "Do you believe that this could be Reshiram in stone form?"

Drayden took the stone from her and examined it closely. He passed it back down to Hilda. "I wouldn't doubt it."

"Aha!" Hilbert cried, reaching out and poking his sister's face. "Say it, Hilda."

"No."

"Say it..."

"No."

"Say. It."

Hilda mumbled something under her breath. Hilbert grinned and cupped a hand to his ear. "What's that? I can't hear you, Hilda. Speak up a little."

"Youwererightandiwaswrong."

"Huh?"

"You were right and I was wrong, ok? Eggber...Eggber is important." She passed him the Light Stone so she could throw a proper mini-fit. "Now don't make me say it again."

"Don't worry. It's probably the only time that will ever be said to me, anyway." He smiled and held out a tiny device. "That's why I got it recorded."

"Hilbert!"

Iris made a face, then looked up at her mentor. "Are you sure you're willing to let them have the Light Stone?"

Drayden let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "There's no other option, Iris. The fate of the world is in their hands."

Iris looked back to the twins, who were now fighting over the recorder as a giggling Mienfoo held on to Eggber. The girl shook her head.

"It's been nice knowing you, Drayden."

* * *

An hour later, they were standing outside the Opelucid City Gym. Hilda examined her chosen team carefully - Erika, Zebstrika, Mandibuzz, Tommy, Krookodile, and Mienfoo. She felt a little bad, leaving half of her own Pokemon behind, but Hilbert had them and promised that they could watch with him, Tranquill and Liepard. And Lillipup, who had been called over to make the trade even. After cheerfully reuniting with her old friends and meeting the new arrivals, the puppy had jumped into Hilbert's arms and made him carry her to the building.

And at the moment, she was watching Hilda give one of her pep talks.

"Dragon-types are hard, unless you have an Ice-type," Hilda was saying, to Mandibuzz in particular. "Mienfoo might be able to learn Ice Punch, but I doubt we have time to teach it to her. Tommy, do you know any Ice-type moves?"

The Samurott just belched. Lillipup shook her head. _That _hadn't changed a bit.

"We'll find out, won't we?" Hilbert said, and they recalled the Pokemon and headed out for their last badge. Up giant dragon statues, obviously, further cementing Hilda's belief that Gym Leaders just don't care for the safety of their challengers.

Drayden was waiting for them at the top of the Gym, easily entertained by watching them get lost with the moving dragon heads. "You kids make it all right?" he asked when they arrived.

"Yeah, no thanks to you," Hilda grumbled. "What kind of Gym is this, anyway?"

"It's a Dragon-type Gym, Hilda," Drayden reminded her with a chuckle that moved the hairs of his amazing beard. "You have to remember that, don't you?"

"I have quite a few other things on my mind, Drayden," she pointed out, and he nodded.

"Yes, I'm aware. But a Gym Badge must be earned for you to continue with your mission, so we must battle." He plucked a Pokeball from seemingly out of nowhere. "May the best team win."

Hilda smirked and reached for her new bird's ball. "I plan on it."

* * *

"Come on, Zebstrika! You can do it!"

Hilda had taken down Drayden's Fraxure, but had lost two of her own already. Mandibuzz was no match for the dragon, but Mienfoo had managed to defeat it. But then Drayden sent out his second choice, and Mienfoo immediately lost to Druddigon. The red-faced creature was also barely standing, and Drayden had sworn to her that he would not use any healing items, since he knew the world was in danger...

Zebstrika struggled to stay on his feet, then let out a battle cry. Drayden had to admit, he admired its determination.

"I need that badge to move on," Hilda said, before breaking out a Hyper Potion of her own. "Sorry, Drayden."

"I'm used to challengers cheating, and this is not against the rules at all." He returned to 'battle position.' "Druddigon, use Night Slash!"

"Out of the way, Zebstrika!"

But it was too late. The Night Slash hit, knocking Zebstrika down to his last bit of strength once again. Lillipup hid her face in her paws. She couldn't watch...

"Shock Wave!"

Though the attack was not powerful or effective, the lightning cut across Druddigon's skin, knocking it down. Hilda smiled - victory was near. "Finish with Stomp!"

No sooner had the attack connected then both Pokemon were lying unconscious, a demonstration of Druddigon's Rough Skin ability.

"Forgot about that," Hilda sighed, recalling that that was exactly how she'd lost Mienfoo. She returned Zebstrika to the safety of his ball, watching carefully as Drayden called back Druddigon.

_There's no problem_, she told herself. _He's got one Pokemon left, I have three._

But then Drayden sent out his final Pokemon, and she gulped. She'd never seen a Haxorus before. But she couldn't let that intimidate her. She had a world to save.

She picked a Pokeball at random. "All right, Krookodile, it's your turn!"

* * *

"It's too bad you lost, Hilda."

Hilda glared at the boy over her chocolate milkshake, as if it were his fault Haxorus had annihilated the rest of her team. That Haxorus was too darn powerful for her to deal with right now, and who knew how much time they had left before Team Plasma won the war. "And you think you can do better?" she challenged, and he flinched as he heard the irritation she tried so hard to hide.

"No. I'm just saying it sucks, that's all."

The two returned to their milkshakes in silence, or as close to silence as they could with the chatter around them. And then Hilbert had another great idea.

"What if I _could _do better? I mean, I beat Bianca, right?"

"Bianca has gotten stronger since we started, but she's not the most powerful trainer in the region."

"But we don't _need _Alder-level power, Hilda. We just need more power than Drayden's got. What if we can teach our Pokemon some decent Ice-type attacks?"

She looked him in the eyes, and was shocked to see how determined he was. "And you're sure that would work?"

"No, but it's worth a shot, right?"

He looked so hopeful, the straw clenched between his exposed teeth as he smiled at her, that Hilda had to admit that he had a point.

"Why not?" she decided. "We're just one badge away from saving the world. Ice-type moves are going to be pretty useful..."

"And maybe Dragon moves, too," Hilbert added. "Even Erika might learn one."

Hilda thought about commenting on that, but changed what she was going to say at the last minute. "I see you know your type advantages," she said instead, and he grinned even more widely.

"Does that mean you'll admit I was right about this, too?"

"Keep dreaming, kid."


	29. The Girl Who Knows the Hearts of Dragons

**Really, who could leave out Iris?**

"More fangirls? Wasn't one enough?"

N was amazed that there were so many people interested in him, but he was still more freaked out by the statements they made. _"Can I hug you?" "Let me pet your hair!" "Marry me!" "Be the father of my children!"_ The request for shirtless scenes suddenly didn't seem too bad...

"Look, this one's asking if she can _keep_ your hair!" Anthea squealed, her face nearly as pink as her own hair from her giggle fit.

Concordia shook her head at her sister's hyperactivity. Ghetsis should never have allowed Anthea near the coffee machine. He _knew _she had a low caffeine tolerance.

Then again, he probably knew what the three of them would be spending the morning attempting to do.

N tossed another letter into the fire, hoping to wash its contents from his mind. "How do they even know of my existence, anyway? Ghetsis makes the speeches."

"Who knows?" Concordia muttered, gently shooing away yet another Pidove with messages from fangirls. "You should probably start explaining that you're already in a committed relationship."

"But I'm not!" N whined, trying to keep his mind from wandering where he knew they expected it to go. Hilda was not his girlfriend, not his life-mate(despite what Zoroark might say) and she was definitely not the mother of his children. She was just his friend...if they were even friends anymore.

"Your thoughts are always on somebody else," Concordia teased. "All that's missing is the official statement."

"My thoughts aren't _always _with her," N protested. "I'm still dedicated to the mission, after all."

"Yes, but you immediately knew who I was speaking of."

"It's hard not to be aware, Concordia. You're both unbelievably relentless shippers."

Both women were surprised at his casual use of the word, in proper context no less, each knowing that she had never used it in his presence. And they were both equally sure that the other hadn't, and they doubted the Sages knew what shipping was. There was only one other option for how N could have learned the definition of 'shipping' when he had more important things to do with his time.

"N..." Anthea started, her voice breaking as she tried to fight laughter. "Have you been on Tumblr?"

"No. And I never will again. Not after last time." He tried to put memories of 'last time' out of his head, focusing on the mission.

His sisters wouldn't let it drop, however. "I wasn't aware Ghetsis even let you use the internet," Concordia said, wondering what Ghetsis could be up to with this.

"It's a recent development. Now can we go back to important things, please?"

* * *

"Drayden!" Hilbert called, armed with the Pokemon he'd spent the rest of the previous day training. "I challenge you to a Pokemon battle!"

"Drayden took the day off from Leader duties," Iris's voice called back from high on the dragon's head. "I'm the Gym Leader today."

"Oh." He cleared his throat and spoke again. "Iris! I challenge you to a Pokemon battle!"

"I heard you the first time! Come on!"

Hilbert glanced around at his Pokemon, realizing that this was as ready as they'd ever be. He couldn't borrow any of Hilda's, since he had no badges of his own. It's not that he thought they would disobey, though Erika might, but that he felt that it was the perfect time to show off how strong he'd gotten. But first things first: raise the stakes of the gamble that accompanied every Gym battle.

"All right, Iris, here's the deal. If I lose, I'll never bother you again, but if you lose, you give a Legend Badge to both me and my sister."

Iris shook her head. "Your sister shouldn't get a badge she didn't earn. Drayden said no challenger should."

"Iris, let's make an exception," Drayden said, arriving just in time to watch his apprentice battle. "These kids have Reshiram, after all."

"All right," Iris shrugged, changing her mind without a second thought. "I'll accept your conditions. But if I win, you owe me a milkshake before you go."

Drayden assumed the position of referee. "Begin the match," he ordered, and the two reached for their Pokemon.

Iris pulled out a Pokeball. "I'll start with my Fraxure!" she called, as the dinosaur popped onto the field.

Hilbert smiled obliviously. "Go! Liepard!"

Liepard sprung onto the battlefield with all the grace of a ballerina, but stopped short as she realized just what she was up against. Her scythe-like tail swished in irritation. What was her trainer thinking?

Though the cat couldn't overcome her fear, she could hide it. "Sand-Attack!" Hilbert ordered, and Liepard tossed dirt into Fraxure's eyes.

"Don't let it get to you, Fraxure! Use Dragon Rage!"

And the battle continued. Liepard put up a fight, but she was no match for Fraxure. But that was ok, because the twins had made a plan.

"Mienfoo, your turn!"

"Dragon Tail!" Iris ordered, not wanting to give Mienfoo the edge in battle. But the Sand Attack had worked, and Mienfoo dodged the attack by simply stepping to the right. With her eyes closed.

"Force Palm!" Hilbert commanded, and Mienfoo struck down Fraxure with one hit. The adorable Fighting-type struck a pose in victory, as Hilbert cheered. But the battle wasn't done yet.

* * *

Hilda fell into a chair at the Route 9 department store, her once almost-empty bag now stuffed with as many Revives and Hyper Potions as she could carry. If Hilbert failed despite their careful planning, they'd come in handy against the Gym Leader in her rematch. And, if he won...they'd come in handy against the Elite Four.

She'd also bought some food, of course, and packed it all in the 'hidey spot' so Tommy wouldn't get it. It was a good thing Pokeball technology was used for items, too. She looked into the bag, only to be distracted by something white and shiny. The Light Stone.

She had no idea how long she'd stared at the Light Stone, silently asking it to move. Of course, it paid no attention to her.

"How did N do it?" she asked herself, poking the rock lightly. "Did he ask it politely? Or maybe it was some form of magical chant..."

She trailed off, lost in a flashback to when she was about six years old. She'd decided she wanted to take over the world, and, when questioned by her father as to how she'd do it, had announced that she'd seen witches cast spells on television and would do things just like they did.

"Just remember the family rules of black magic, Hilda," her father had replied, unfazed. "Don't summon anything bigger than your hand, don't draw protective circles on the floor with permanent marker, and if you banish your brother to another dimension, make sure he's home by dinner."

_Reshiram's probably way bigger than my hand,_ she thought as she poked Eggber again. She'd figure it out sooner or later.

Right now, checking on Hilbert seemed to be the best option.

* * *

By the time Hilda got back to Opelucid Gym, the battle was almost over. The only Pokemon that hadn't been taken out were Hilbert's Krookodile and Iris's Haxorus. Hilbert had just given Tommy a Revive, but that move had caused Krookodile to suffer a bit more.

Hilbert took a deep, calming breath. It was almost over, one way or another. He had to come out on top - for himself, his sister, and all their Pokemon. But unless he wanted to see Tommy on a rocket to the moon, he needed to win. It was time to break out the secret weapon.

"Krookodile." The giant red crocodile straightened up at the sound of his voice, listening intently for her trainer's command. "Use Zap Cannon."

Iris tried protesting that even if Krookodile could learn Zap Cannon, it wouldn't do much good. But Krookodile knew exactly what the code was, and within seconds had used Dig to hide.

Iris could sense that the creature wouldn't resurface until she'd called an attack. "Haxorus, Dragon Tail!"

It missed, of course, and Krookodile popped out of the ground just in time, tackling Haxorus to the ground.

"Finish it with Crunch!"

And, just like that, Hilbert had won a Legend Badge for not only himself, but his sister as well.

* * *

"I can't believe it!" Iris whined as she handed the badges over, like any good Gym Leader/gambling loser would. "He won! I knew I'd lose sometimes, but I never imagined to _him._"

Hilda shook her head, wondering if the strange, warm feeling she was getting actually meant she was proud of her brother. "He's come a long way, hasn't he?"

Drayden moved to stand beside his apprentice, and above his Beard of Awesomeness, his eyes never left the twins. "The fate of the world is in your hands," he reminded them. "Go and stop Team Plasma. We will be willing to assist if you need us."

Hilbert smiled and waved his Legend Badge in Hilda's face. "Go on, Hilda. Say it."

She opened her mouth to protest, then sighed. "Thank you for winning the badge for me," she said, as if she were a horrible actress reading off the script. "Now come on. Remember my Grimsley worship? It's time to see if he's really as great as I think he is."

Hilbert knew she had a different motive entirely, and he also knew he couldn't make her admit it. Grimsley must have just been easier to think about than N. "Well, then, let's go."


	30. The Road to Victory

**Victory Road is a pain.**

**WARNING: This chapter does have a bit of DualRivalshipping, since we liked that before we even seriously considered FerrisWheel. You can, however, read it as just friendship.**

Their shiny new badges in hand, and with assurances that Alder wouldn't mind, Hilbert and Hilda started to head out of the Gym to heal up the rest of Hilbert's team and return Lillipup to their mother. Hilbert was obviously quite pleased with himself, singing another Disney song as they walked down to the door, paying little attention to his twin's embarrassment or the stares of the two Gym Leaders.

"Why didn't you just let us share a Legend Badge?" Hilda asked, cutting into his rendition of 'Never Had a Friend Like Me.' "I mean, it could be yours, and displayed in your room once we get home, but I keep it in my badge case until then?"

"Because shut up." Hilbert shrugged and pinned his badge to his hat. "Don't worry. You can always come back and have a rematch with Drayden for your badge, if it makes you feel like less of a cheater."

The second they stepped out the door, however, they found their path blocked by Professor Juniper, who immediately noticed Hilda's badge case.

"I see you've finally gotten eight badges," she said, and Hilda blushed.

"Well...sort of."

"And I got the Legend Badge!" Hilbert declared, waving his hat at the scientist. The new decoration glittered in her face, and she pushed it away gently.

"Very nice," she commented. "Have you earned any other badges, Hilbert?"

"Uh...no. Not really." He put the hat back on his head. "What are you doing here?"

"Lenora called me and asked me if I had anything that would help you on your special mission," Juniper confessed, one hand in her lab coat pocket as always. "I just so happened to find a Master Ball in my lab, and since I didn't want Minccino playing with it, I figured I could give it to you."

Hilbert's eyes lit up. "You're trusting me with a Master Ball?" he asked, his eyes shining and his voice squeaking. Hilda even thought she saw him drool a little at the thought of the ultimate capture device.

Professor Juniper shot down his hopes immediately. "No. I'm trusting your _sister _with a Master Ball. _You _get a Max Revive."

The twins accepted their gifts from the professor, had a brief conversation with her, and then let her go continue her studies elsewhere. Victory Road was just one more route away.

* * *

"Route 10," Hilda stated, almost afraid to step out again. "We don't know what's past this point, other than the Elite Four and Alder...and N."

Hilbert could sense his sibling's distress, and tried his best to cheer her up. "Come on, Hilda. This is the day you've been waiting for since you gave up on world domination. Let's just go already."

"World domination didn't have Castle-Man and a guy with a giant dragon standing in my way."

"We'll have a giant dragon, too," Hilbert reminded her. "Now, are you going to go out there on your own, or do I have to drag you?"

And so they started on the long track to Victory Road, stopping only at a sight they thought they would never see: Cheren and Bianca, talking quietly on a small bridge. That in itself was nothing unexpected, but Hilda noticed that Bianca seemed to be holding on to the boy's hand, and he was actually allowing it. Somebody had a change of heart...

"Did we miss something important?" Hilda asked, feeling a tiny flash of entertainment at the sight. Who would have guessed?

The pair of rivals froze, before Cheren removed his hand from Bianca's grip. "You missed nothing," he insisted, and beside him, Bianca nodded in agreement. "We were just talking about what we wanted to do after this, if you guys succeed in stopping Team Plasma."

"Uh-huh." Hilda smirked as Hilbert caught on. "You shouldn't have discussions so close together on a romantic-looking bridge, guys. Someone might think you're a couple, and we wouldn't want that to happen, would we?"

"People can believe whatever they wish." Cheren sounded a bit uncomfortable, and cleared his throat before he spoke again. "So. Since this is probably the last time any of us will see our Pokemon -"

"No, it won't be," Bianca stated. "Everything will be all right."

Cheren didn't turn to look back at her. "How can you be this optimistic?"

"How can you be such a pessimist?" she retaliated. "Have some faith, Cheren. You know, deep in your heart, that this will work."

"I..." he trailed off, finally looking at Bianca, noticing that his childhood friend was merely clinging to the last shred of hope she had. He decided he didn't want to part with his Pokemon, either, and faked a smile. "I suppose you're right. I am being a bit pessimistic."

Bianca giggled. "A bit," she repeated, holding her hands about shoulder length apart, as if to demonstrate the size of his negativity streak.

Cheren made a face at her, making her laugh even harder, before composing himself and turning back to Hilda. "So," he said, as if the previous conversation never happened, "are you going to battle me or not?"

"That depends," Hilda said with a smile of her own. "How mad would your girlfriend be if I beat you?"

* * *

Alder was tired. He'd gotten lost in Victory Road, and his Volcarona had taken quite a few hits in the practice battles with the local wild Pokemon. He was out of practice, and that scared him. After all, the Champion should be ready to take on threats like these...

"Where's Caitlin?" he asked the three Elites in the Pokemon Center, clustered together like Dodrio's heads.

"Sleeping," Marshal answered immediately. "Why?"

"We've got a few challengers coming," Alder warned, and the three grew curious at the seriousness of his voice. "_One _challenger, actually, but she's on a mission of great importance. If you see a teenage girl with a pink hat traveling with a weird boy, go easy on her."

"Why?" Shauntal questioned, oblivious as usual. Typical writers, always lost in another world. "Isn't it our duty to go full strength on trainers, testing their skill for you?"

"Usually, yeah," Alder admitted, "but this is an exception. The fate of the world rests in their hands."

"Teenagers?" Grimsley questioned, a bit surprised. "Aren't they a bit young to be saving the world?"

"Yes. Yes, they are." Alder stared the other man down. "Have you ever heard of Team Galactic?"

"Once, a while back," Grimsley admitted. "Weren't they a group in Sinnoh?"

Alder chuckled as the Ghost master started bouncing in her seat, about to explode with unshared knowledge. "Why don't you ask Shauntal, she's done research on this subject. I think I'll go warn Caitlin."

"There's no need for that," a tired female voice announced, and Caitlin entered the room, her Musharna at her side. "I was coming down to see if you had returned, and I heard your request."

"Then you know who you should look out for."

Caitlin nodded. "I foresee a victory."

"On which side?" Shauntal asked, dreading the answer.

Caitlin's quiet stare brought them all to silence. "Spoiler alert," she whispered, sending a sudden cold through the air.

"We'll fight anyway," Marshal declared, standing up and heading to the phone. "I'm hungry. Who else wants pizza?"

* * *

Hilda kicked at a cave wall. The two had been in Victory Road for the past five and a half hours, and had been officially lost for at least three. Not that everything was bad: Hilda had gotten some serious training done, and Hilbert himself had decided it was best to try to train his own Pokemon than catch new ones(though he did try and fail to get a Heatmor) and had managed to evolve his Tranquill into an Unfezant. Mienfoo was still in her first stage, but it was better than nothing.

But now the humans were both bored with training, and decided to dedicate their energy to finding the way out.

"You'd think I'd _like_ being in a dimly-lit cave with a bunch of Pokemon," Hilda said to herself as she followed her Lampent up a flight of stairs. "Why don't I want to stay longer?"

"You just want to meet your celebrity crush and kick his butt in a battle," Hilbert said, nodding wisely. "And help Alder beat N and all that."

"Sure." She sat down on a large rock, re-tying the laces of her boots. "The thing is, though, what if we _don't _beat N? What if Cheren's right, and the bad guys win?"

"Well, knowing Erika, she'll lead a charge to find you again. And when she does, she'll leave Tommy with me, since by then she'd have to be sick of him."

"But how long would that take?"

"No idea. I just thought I'd be an optimist."

Hilda got back on her feet, noticing her ghost seemed upset. She smiled. "We'll be fine," she reassured him. "If we ever make it out of here, that is. Think you can find a friend to lead us to the Pokemon League building?"

Lampent made a noise that sounded like an agreement, and led the twins to a Durant in the corner of the room. The giant insect had a brief conversation with Lampent, in which Lampent promised that his trainer and her brother could protect the Durant from predators, before it led them away, to the safety of the Pokemon League building.


	31. Elite Challenge

**In which Hilda meets the man she adores beyond the boundaries of sanity.**

The Pokemon League building stood before the twins, the rays of sunlight shining down on the castle. Durant made a happy noise as it realized that it had been the one to lead them to their future victory. Lampent wasn't so sure. After all, how was Hilda going to beat the Elite Four when she only had five Pokemon and a Lillipup that she'd stopped using in battle?

Hilda wasn't concerned, and she was active once again, bouncing around with so much energy that Hilbert suddenly felt very, very sorry for Grimsley. She'd probably put that energy into a glomp, or at least pester him for an autograph. But that wasn't what was really important.

"Thank you, Durant!" Hilda cheered, giving it a hug, before calling Lampent back to his ball and rushing ahead. She glanced back at her brother and gave him a wide, genuine smile. "Come on, Hilbert! The Elite Four!"

Hilbert shook his head, but followed her anyway, keeping his eyes on her bag. There was still no sign of the legendary white dragon, but that didn't mean he couldn't try to talk to it.

"It's nice to see her being optimistic again, isn't it?"

Eggber didn't do anything. He hadn't really expected it to.

* * *

The building was every bit as eerily beautiful on the inside as on the outside, just as the TV specials had shown. Hilda bounced in excitement.

"I can't believe we've made it this far!" she squealed, still as energetic as she'd been when they escaped the maze. Eggber nearly fell out of the bag, but she didn't seem to notice. "Come on, time to heal up! They're much stronger than Gym Leaders!"

"Alder might've told them to go easy on us," Hilbert pointed out. "Still...do you want to borrow Tommy? Or Krookodile or Unfezant?"

Hilda shook her head. "No. I'll do this with my own Pokemon." She retreated into the Pokemon Center, her brother following close behind.

There, picking up some Pokeballs, was a man the twins recognized immediately from television. Dark skin, mostly blond hair, huge muscles...it was the Fighting-type master, Marshal.

He spotted them, too. "You guys here to challenge us?" he asked them, focused intently on Hilda's hat. Was this the girl Alder had told him about? The boy looked pretty normal.

"No, we're here to buy underwear," the girl replied, rolling her eyes. "Of course we're here to challenge you."

Hilbert laughed. "You said underwear," he said around a huge grin, and Marshal immediately knew that it was, in fact, the challenger he'd been instructed to take it easy on. As he left to warn the others, Hilbert dragged Hilda up to the counter to drop off their Pokemon. All was well as they prepared, until Hilda realized something.

"Marshal was here healing up his Pokemon," she whispered, suddenly terrified.

"Yeah, so? That just means he doesn't like them hurt."

"But it could mean he lost! What if we're too late?"

Hilbert stared at his sister for a bit longer, then shook his head. "Can't be. If N beat Marshal, he'd have to get past the other three. And Alder himself, who, in case you've forgotten, is the _Champion of the entire Unova region_. And since we haven't been forced to release all our Pokemon yet, we're fine."

Hilda stared at Erika's ball, hoping he was right for the first time in her life.

* * *

It was only five minutes later that they arrived in Shauntal's room, ready to begin their challenge. Hilda knew Mandibuzz had learned Dark Pulse, which was a good move to use against ghosts, but she suddenly felt she wasn't ready. She was one Pokemon short of a full team, what if they sent her back?

"Do you _want _to miss your only chance to hatch Eggber and save the world?" Hilbert demanded, to Hilda's silence. "Come on. The door's locked anyway. We might as well go face her."

Hilda took a deep breath and looked around as Shauntal entered the scene. The woman's eyes stared at the twins from behind large, round glasses, and Hilda forced a smile.

"I like what you've done with the place," she said, though she'd barely paid attention to the 'haunted library.' "Did you write all of these books yourself?"

"Oh, no. Only some of them." Shauntal smiled back, then grew serious. "I can tell you two are the ones Alder told us about. He said to go easy on you, and if he didn't need your help he'd fight as hard as he could. So," she said, removing a ball from her belt, "Each of us will use only one Pokemon. All right?"

And, without further hesitation, she sent out a creature known as a Golurk. Hilda reached for a ball of her own, and a second later Erika had taken her place on the battlefield.

It was on.

* * *

"Who knew Golurk would go down with one Leaf Blade?" Hilda giggled, allowing Erika to follow as they moved down to the next room. "Come on, next challenge! Let's see if Grimsley's as amazing as I've been hoping..."

The first thing Hilbert was aware of in Grimsley's battle room was utter darkness. Then, as if by magic, the candles flickered to life and the door locked behind them, and like the vampires he resembled, Grimsley seemed to appear out of nowhere. His feathered hair was perfect, matching his dark blue suit almost exactly, his icy blue eyes and crafty smile turned on his newest challenger. Hilda immediately melted.

"He is," she breathed, before bounding up to her next opponent, her own blue eyes lit up with the excitement of meeting her long-time idol face-to-face. "I would just like to say that I have been looking forward to being your opponent since before I started my journey, and it is an honor to be here with you. I was just wondering, before we battle, if you would give me an autograph?"

Hilbert shook his head. His normally emotionless big sister was acting like a Twilight fanatic meeting an actor who played Edward or Jacob. No, scratch that - she was acting like _Skyla_ meeting the actor who played the Tenth Doctor. The man seemed entertained by this, though, and neither seemed to be actually flirting, so he could let it slide for a while.

Just in time, Grimsley grew too bored with being admired, and suggested to Hilda that they have the battle before time ran out, gently reminding her of the mission.

"You pick your Pokemon first," she announced, and Grimsley agreed by sending out his Liepard. The big purple kitty was much more well-groomed than Hilbert's or Cheren's, and Hilbert was surprisingly quick to notice this.

"How does her fur keep from getting all dirty?" he asked, reaching out and petting the Pokemon, as if unaware that her trainer was trying to have a battle against one of his biggest fans. "You're a professional battler! My Liepard gets dirty every time she battles."

Grimsley's Liepard purred under his touch, forgetting that they were in mid-battle herself, and rolled onto her back to allow the strange boy to give her a tummy rub. Her master hid his face in his hand.

"First for the sandwich, and now this," he sighed, giving his Pokemon a playful glare. "Is there _anything _you'll actually do in battle, or will you keep betraying me? I'm the one who feeds you and buys your brushes, you know."

Liepard faced him with a cheesy cat grin of her own, and considered making an inappropriate teasing remark in her own tongue. As it was, though, she simply rolled onto her paws, walked over to the switch that allowed the kids to move on, and activated it.

"You're letting us pass without a fight?" Hilda demanded, and Grimsley took a seat on the large black couch.

"Go ahead," he stated, waving them on. "It's one less trip to the Pokemon Center for me. I prefer not to leave my so-called batcave when the sun is up, so as long as you don't tell Alder about this, I see no reason to not let you go."

"I hate the sun, too," Hilda said, and waved to her idol as she clutched the autographed paper in her hand. Ten seconds later, they'd passed through without even a battle.

Grimsley gently nudged Liepard with his foot. "You're grounded, young lady."

Liepard merely jumped onto the couch with him and fell asleep, curled up in a ball of fuzz, purring loudly.

* * *

The next challenge was Caitlin. A beautiful, rarely-seen woman, she was sleeping when the twins arrived in her room and did not seem pleased at being woken up. She was cranky, but knew the urgency of the situation and used only one Pokemon. She immediately sent out a Musharna, which Hilda counter-acted with Leavanny.

"Use Bug Bite!" Hilda commanded, but Caitlin had a backup plan.

"Musharna, Hypnosis!"

The Bug Bite attack never hit, and soon enough Leavanny was sleeping on the field, oblivious to everything that wasn't going on in her own head. She never heard the command for a Dream Eater, or even noticed when her health dwindled to its last bit. She just slept on, dreaming of stopping Team Plasma and leading her trainer to the Championship.

Fortunately, a Full Restore could fix her health while waking her up. Leavanny was ready this time, and jumped aside in time to avoid another Hypnosis attack. It struck with String Shot and finished off the battle with Struggle Bug.

"Be careful," Caitlin warned, conceding defeat. "Your victory against me is meaningless compared to what you will be facing."

Hilda had a feeling she wasn't talking about Marshal. Or Alder. "And what would that be?"

Caitlin shook her head. "My foresight isn't as powerful as that of other psychics. It's a feeling, not a vision. But I thought I should warn you, should you find yourself...struggling."

"We can handle it."

"Let's hope so."

* * *

Giving Leavanny another Full Restore brought her to full strength, and Hilda took a deep breath as she stared down Marshal's door. Mandibuzz made a soft noise of anticipation, sensing that her new trainer's hopes rested on her shoulders, and took the lead. She was obviously excited about this, leaving the kids behind as they headed over to Marshal's room.

They found her perched on the edge of the sparring ring Marshal had set up in his room, the trainer preparing his Mienshao for the task.

"Think you can do this, girlie?" he challenged, and Hilda gave a small smile in return.

"If not, I'm in trouble."

And, as the battle began, Hilbert thought of home once again, and how terrified his mother would have been if she'd known that both of her children were out in a dangerous situation and trying to save the world from Team Plasma.

_We probably won't tell her any more than we have to,_ he decided. _Patrat might be upset she missed this, though._

* * *

Anthea and Concordia were not the most brilliant women in the world, but neither was stupid - at least, not when Anthea had caught up on her sleep and stayed away from caffeinated beverages. Their heads were bent over the same piece of paper, a cup of coffee in Concordia's left hand and a wad of gum under Anthea's tongue, examining the plan they had come up with earlier.

"Are you sure this will work?" Concordia asked critically, as Anthea pulled away.

"Positive," was the reply, the gum shifting aside to allow the woman to talk. "There's no way we can fail this. We'll help the girl get the dragon, and the battle of truths and ideals will take place just as N expects it to. Ghetsis won't know -"

"Won't know what, dare I ask?"

The sisters turned nervously toward the speaker, noticing Ghetsis in the nice black suit he'd worn when he'd found N by the Ferris wheel.

"Know how it happened, of course," Concordia said simply, staring into her cup of sloshy brown liquid. "Do you want any coffee? There's a fresh pot in..."

"Are you two making liberation plans?" Ghetsis asked coldly.

Anthea blew a gum bubble and her sister took another sip of coffee, each trying to find a decent story. "Sort of," Concordia admitted, deciding the truth was the best option. "It was more plans on how we can 'liberate' the dragon from the Light Stone, seeing as how you failed to take it from the girl."

"And that's why we needed plans," Anthea added, all but leaping onto the table and sitting on top of the papers, preventing the man from seeing them. She brushed a few wrinkles out of her dress and flashed him a wide smile. "It's nothing the Sages should get concerned about."

"For your sake, I hope so."

For a while, there was nothing but silence as the three all stared each other down, Ghetsis knowing that the girls were plotting against him after all he'd done for them. And then came the arrival of three soaking wet ninjas, holding out the infamous castle robe.

"What took you so long?" Ghetsis demanded, glaring at all three at once, an impressive move for a man with only one eye. Without waiting for a reply, he added, "And why are you all wet?"

"The washing machine was on the fritz," one of them explained. "It, uh, tried to eat us, sir."

"Pity it didn't succeed," Ghetsis mumbled to himself, taking the robe before he turned to the girls one more time. "Remember, Anthea, Concordia. My Hydreigon doesn't like tattletales."

And then he left, off to change into the familiar robe and prepare for the battle he knew was coming.


	32. The Castle from Nowhere

**WARNING: We did not write Hilda's rant at the stairs. That came from an episode of Yugioh Abridged, so we're giving credit to LittleKuriboh. As for why we had her say it...that's what went through our minds when we reached this point when we played.**

**So, yeah, Alder's stairs need to die.**

Despite the half-disadvantage that came with being part Dark-type, Mandibuzz was still standing, thanks to the large collection of Full Restores that Hilda had stocked up on. Marshal, being allowed to use only one per Pokemon, was definitely a tough fight, but eventually, even his prized Mienshao was to fall. Hilda let out a whoop of victory and grabbed Mandibuzz in a tight hug, while Hilbert attempted to high-five the large black wing.

"You were amazing," Hilda cheered, nearly stabbing herself with one of the bones her pet wore as a skirt but not seeming to care.

Mandibuzz wiggled out of Hilda's arms to land on the ground, where she focused on Marshal. This thing was far from over.

"You wouldn't have lasted ten minutes if I hadn't gone easy on you," the man was saying, moving over to the switch that would allow the twins to reach Alder. "But, I guess that you've _technically _beaten all four of us. If how you left Grimsley was a technicality."

"He let us!" Hilda whined, and Marshal laughed. It was a very annoying sound, in Hilda's opinion. "Don't laugh at me! He knew exactly why we were doing what we were doing!"

"Whatever, girlie. Point is, Alder wanted to talk to you, so you can go." He flicked the switch and let the siblings pass, telling them to check the statue in the center of the building.

Said statue was glowing when they arrived, and Hilda immediately warned her brother not to touch it. "Not without me, anyway."

And, reaching together, they found the hidden switch that allowed them to move on to Alder's hidden room. Or, rather, the billions of stairs leading up to it. Hilbert could see his sister's face fall, and barely grabbed on to her bag as she tried to turn back.

"We can't leave, Hilda," he reminded her. "Part of the challenge, remember?"

"But I've walked too much!" she wailed. "I'm not athletic, never have been! I just want to go home and curl up in the dark and sleep!"

"Hilda! Think about this: If you go home now, Erika and Tommy and all the other Pokemon we've come to know and love will be sent to the moon or something! Do you want that?"

"No..."

"Well, then," Hilbert declared, pointing up the stairs like a sadistic P.E. teacher, "march!"

* * *

"...I'm going to find whoever invented the stairs, and push him down _these_ stairs! And then his legs will be broken and he will no longer be able to climb the stairs! That'll be ironic. And then his wife will leave him and go be with the man who invented the elevator, because elevators are much better than stairs!" Hilda smiled sadistically, then looked ahead. There was nothing but more stairs as far as her eyes could see, and the smile faded immediately. "Oh, my gosh, we're not even close to the top! _Why are there so many stairs_?"

Hilbert rolled his eyes at her rant, which he was positive she'd ripped off of some stupid online parody show. Still, he had to agree with every word that came out of her mouth, and sighed in relief once they'd reached solid ground. More stairs waited ahead, but here they could take a rest. And a much-needed one at that, he decided as his sister collapsed, sprawled out like a corpse. That position had to be uncomfortable, but she was probably too numb to feel it right now.

"Hilda? Do we have any food?"

Pushing herself off the ground enough to sit, she dug through her bag until she found a packet of fruit snacks, which she immediately threw at his head. "Enjoy," she said as she ripped open her own packet.

They munched on their fruit snacks in silence, grateful that they'd fed their Pokemon before taking on the Elite Four. It wasn't that long, however, before they were confronted with the ancient form of architecture once again.

Hilda wished she'd summoned Reshiram already, so they could ride the dragon to the top.

* * *

Neither sibling could really believe what they were seeing, once they'd managed to get to the top. And once they processed the image, all Hilbert could say was, "Uh-oh."

Yes, it seemed that with Zekrom as his ally, N had defeated the Pokemon League easily, and had the Champion himself on his knees, begging for mercy.

"There are some new rules in effect, Alder," N was saying, unaware of the new arrivals. "The cruelty of Pokemon battling is over! No more shall innocent creatures be hurt by the carelessness of humans. Now, go stand in the corner and think about what you've done."

"We can't let you do that!" Alder protested. "I am the Champion, but not the ultimate ruler of the land!"

"I don't want to _rule_ Unova - those in Team Plasma are enough subjects. I simply want to live in a world where I can be at peace, knowing that Pokemon aren't the victims of cruelty anymore."

"Please! I love my Pokemon, don't make me let them go! I'll do anything!"

N stopped talking, and for a second, Hilda swore she caught a look of indecision flash across his face. And then Zekrom, exposing dagger-like teeth as it laughed, growled out a suggestion that brought a smile to the king's face.

"All right, Alder. Since you seem to be another good trainer, I'll give you a choice. You either release your Pokemon, or go up and down these stairs ten times." He pointed to the stairs the twins had just climbed up, noticing them in the process. His mood did a complete flip, and the smile became more genuine. "I see you made it," he said, ignoring Alder - who, despite his previous protest, seemed to be thinking the offer over. "Did you find Reshiram?"

"Sort of," Hilda mumbled, but Hilbert took over.

"Do you know Ghetsis tried to take Eggber away from us?" he demanded, his hand reaching for his trusty plastic fork.

"Eggber?" N questioned, as Alder coughed nervously. "What's an Egg...never mind," he added quickly, figuring it would probably be best if he didn't get Hilbert started. He wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know.

"If I let my Pokemon go," Alder said, diverting the conversation and returning N to his serious mode, "will they be allowed to visit whenever they want?"

"That, I'm afraid, was a plan the Sages never quite let me in on," N admitted. Turning back to the siblings, he started to speak to them once again. "Our final battleground will be a place of my choosing," he stated, his cold gray eyes locking with Hilda's. "And my choice is...the castle of Team Plasma."

The words were like a trigger. Out of the ground erupted a gigantic castle, the very same kind that the siblings had grown up seeing in fairy-tale books. Five times the size of the large black dragon before them, every detail was perfect. Hilda momentarily thought about changing her mind and joining Team Plasma, just to be able to visit this magnificent monstrosity any time she wished...

"Well, then," N said as the castle let down multiple flights of stairs to allow people to enter, "I will be waiting for you."

No sooner had he and his dragon gone than Cheren, who Hilbert and Hilda hadn't even heard come up, asked, "Just where was he keeping that thing, anyway?"

* * *

After managing to drag themselves up still more stairs and through the entrance to the castle, Hilbert and Hilda found themselves surrounded. Six old men were circling them - they recognized Zinzolin from the Cold Storage, Giallo from Dragonspiral Tower, and Bronius from Castelia City, but the other three were all nameless, vague faces that neither of them could recall.

One of the old men, one of the Sages, stepped forward. "So you are the ones our leader likes so much," he said. "He'll be upset with us, I'm sure, but we can't let our careful plans be destroyed."

"Meh, let 'em go," a voice said, and the protagonists turned to see Clay, slightly out of breath from climbing all those stairs but not caring about that. He nodded toward them. "You kids doin' all right?"

"We're fine. Well, if by 'all right' you mean 'scared senseless with dead legs,' that is," Hilda grumbled, but Clay merely laughed.

"I thought ya might say that," he said, as the other Gym Leaders arrived - all but the Striaton triplets. Hilbert wondered why that was, but then his thinking time was cut short when the battles began.

The dazed protagonists couldn't move, at first, instead watching the battles play out. Brycen and Zinzolin were facing off with identical expressions of disinterest, while Skyla took a stand against Bronius. Above the clashes of attacks and calls of the creatures were the redhead's cries of "Exterminate! Exterminate!" as if she were commanding a Dalek instead of a giant bird. Bronius was all too willing to join in, calling out "Delete! Delete!" as if he were a Cyberman.

"What do you know," Hilbert muttered, watching them battle it out. "Even on opposite sides of the good-vs-evil line, Whovians still have a radar."

Hilda silenced him, focusing on their battle despite the others still fighting viciously. It was almost entertaining...

"You Gym Leaders think you can defeat us?" Bronius challenged, his Pokemon friend striking out at Swanna. "We are fighting for the greater good! You cannot stand against our superior cause!"

"You are superior in only one way," Skyla quoted, eyes narrowing as she focused. "You are better at dying."

"Go!" Drayden suddenly ordered, waving the twins forward. "You have to stop N! I'll babysit Skyla."

Skyla growled at him. "I'm practically a grown woman, Drayden! I don't _need_ a babysitter!"

But the siblings heard no more, as they were rushing to the top of the castle to try to stop Team Plasma from breaking the hearts of millions.

If they weren't already too late...


	33. Birth of the Blue-Eyes White Dragon

**STORY FROM BEHIND THE SCENES: The ****first few scenes of this chapter _were_ going to be Anthea, Concordia, the important Team Plasma members and the protagonists doing a parody of "I've Got a Dream" from Tangled, but we decided that this was the serious part of the story and we shouldn't ruin it, proving that even we know when the silliness must stop. OK, it was because we couldn't find a way to introduce the song, but it's pretty much the same thing.**

**And now, by the power invested in us, by ourselves, we now pronounce Ferriswheelshipping semi-canon. And I warn you now: We have no idea what we're doing.**

"Have I told you that you're weird yet?"

Hilbert grinned at his sister, pleased his latest mark of stupidity was bringing her back to her usual personality. "Not today," he cheered, skipping along beside her as the Legend Badge glittered atop his head.

"Well, you're weird."

"Glad to hear it." And he grabbed her hand and dragged her into the nearest room, continuing the quest for the king and his dragon.

Said room was not the throne room they were searching for, but it did hold two very pretty young women. As Hilda started to move back, ready to check another room, the pink-haired one spoke.

"Are you looking for our king?"

"Yeah," Hilbert replied, unaware that Hilda was trying to pretend she hadn't heard her. "Who are you guys?"

"I am Anthea, and this is my sister Concordia. We're on your side."

The statement got Hilda interested, and she turned back to watch them. The blonde one, Concordia, seemed to take an interest in Hilda. Her thick golden braid swung down to her hip, and the hair antennae made Hilda immediately compare her to a Leavanny.

"Are you the one called Hilda?" she asked, and snapped upright at the confirmation, giving the visitors a warm, friendly smile. "I thought so. N hasn't shut up about you since the incident at Dragon...no, wait, before then. Since the Ferris wheel. You're almost as pretty as he said you were."

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Hilda felt her face get hot. "He...he said I was pretty?"

"Not out loud," Anthea said, "but we've been interrogating him since the day we met him. Even if he doesn't say a word, we know what he's thinking. What he _did_ say out loud was that you were, and I quote, 'unlike anyone else,' so we kind of figured there was something."

"How long have you known N?" Hilbert asked them, accepting Anthea's offer to heal his Pokemon and all but forcing Hilda to do the same.

Concordia's smile vanished, and Anthea suddenly became very interested in her job. "We've known N for years," Concordia admitted. "He was raised to think that there wasn't much kindness left in the world. He's innocent, only trying to do what he believes is right. But innocence can be deadly, as I'm sure you're aware."

"Trying to do what's right?" Hilda repeated. "Shouldn't he know that taking away Pokemon isn't going to help _anyone_ in the long run?"

"I think he does, deep down. But it's a difficult thing, realizing that your entire life has been a lie..."

"Hush, Concordia," Anthea finally said, handing the twins their monsters. "I think they can do it even without the backstory."

And so Hilbert and Hilda left, off to continue the search for their friend.

* * *

"What do we do with them now?"

Iris's question brought silence to the Gym Leaders. They were all aware that though the Sages had been defeated, the police wouldn't dare come near the castle.

"Well," Burgh began, "aside from bringing out the real stingers, I do have a plan..."

Elesa gave him a Look that immediately shut him up. "If this is an attempt to ban pants, I swear -"

"Of course not, my dear," Burgh said, his face far too innocent. "I was thinking more along the lines of _punishment."_

"Wait a minute," Skyla said, cutting into the conversation. "He tried to ban pants?"

Elesa rolled her eyes. "He claimed that they 'stifled his creativity' and that 'putting them on was such a waste of valuable time in the morning,' so, yeah."

"Honestly, Elesa," Burgh scoffed, looking anywhere but the Electric-type specialist, "don't you know a joke when you hear one? Besides, this has nothing to do with whether or not trousers should be banned. No, I was thinking something much more suitable for their crimes. In fact, I've come up with a rather fascinating idea that may let them go without jail time, but it does involve a pancake, a fluorescent light bulb, and..."

"If the plan has more than three steps of action, Burgh, you're not allowed to go through with it."

Lenora chuckled as the Bug master fell silent, his face taking on a strange resemblance to that of a scolded Lillipup. The pair had quite an unusual history, and Lenora had watched it all happen.

"So what do _you _suggest we do, Lenora?" he asked, still slightly upset with his 'babysitter' for ruining his plan.

"I don't know. Leave them in their underwear at the mall?"

* * *

"Look at this place!"

The twins had stumbled into a room, filled with toys. Old toys. The train set was broken, one piece hanging in a basketball hoop, while a scratched-up skateboard and half-pipe sat in the corner.

"It looks like the train's been played with lately," Hilbert said. "And the basketball."

"Zekrom could have played with some," Hilda explained. "I mean, N probably knows that toy trains don't go in basketball hoops."

"Could be," Hilbert agreed. "But where is he? Wasn't challenging you to a final showdown the entire reason he summoned this castle in the first place?"

"You'd think so, wouldn't you?" Hilda put down the music box she'd been examining, letting it continue playing its creepy tune. "Come on. He's probably waiting for us up ahead."

"But I wanna -"

"Now, Hilbert."

With a sigh, he followed his sister out of the room, leaving the creepy music box playing its sad little song.

* * *

The throne room, of course, was at the top of the castle. The twins had to climb multiple stairs to reach, and who should be waiting for them but Ghetsis himself.

"You seem to have confidence in yourselves," he stated, looking at the Samurott and Serperior that had been called out for assistance. "Do you think that by defeating the king, you can bring an end to Team Plasma's careful plans?"

Tommy looked confused, and turned to Erika. **"Isn't that what we've been trying to do from the start?"**

**"Silence, fool," **Erika warned, watching the castle-man closely. **"We need to be on alert. Zekrom could appear out of nowhere and attack at any moment."**

Tommy retaliated by attempting to eat Ghetsis once more. Hilbert groaned and pulled a spray bottle from his bag.

"Bad Tommy," he scolded, spraying his starter with whatever was in it. _"Bad_ Tommy. His snuggie is not made out of bacon."

Tommy cringed away from the liquid, though it was actually just water and therefore Tommy had nothing to be afraid of, and stopped trying to eat Ghetsis's head.

Ghetsis glared at the twins, his usually neutral face twisted with fury. "I should turn you away at this very moment. However, it is not my place to decide who the king decides to play with. Go forward, then, if you wish." And he left them to enter the throne room.

Said throne room was huge, though, and the king was as far away from the entrance as possible. The distance didn't stop N from talking, however.

"So this is where it ends," he called, rising from his throne. "The heroes of truth and ideals, finally coming together in a glorious standoff, the fate of the entire Unova region hanging on the outcome." He started toward them, but Hilbert and Hilda realized that it was best if they met halfway, so they started forward as well.

When the trio met in the middle, N didn't seem to be his usual self. "Where is Reshiram?" he asked them. "I thought it would have revealed itself to you by now."

Hilda focused on a scratch on the floor tile. "Well...about that."

And she proceeded to explain things to N. How the dragon didn't choose them like he thought it would, but she was going to stop him anyway. As she spoke, he grew slowly more disbelieving.

"How can you stop me, when you don't have the dragon of legend?"

"Because I have faith in my Pokemon," Hilda declared, looking up into his eyes. "And I know that if we must, we can take you down."

"And how can you be sure?"

"Because I am."

"And that automatically makes you feel you can defeat me?"

"Yes."

"So, supposing you manage to take down Joey...I mean, Zekrom," he corrected, realizing Hilda would not understand the dragon's chosen nickname, "how will you handle my other friends?"

"Because -"

"Enough!" Hilbert snapped, cutting off the conversation. He took a deep breath to calm himself, before turning his fury on the others. "All right, so maybe Eggber hasn't hatched yet, and maybe N has a giant dragon and we don't have a good enough counter for that. But is a battle of words, without relating to the training-vs-liberation debate, going to help _anything?"_ Silence. He nodded as if that explained everything. "So, my point is this: Hilda, do you want to be this weirdo's friend?"

"Yes, but -"

"And N," he continued, paying no attention to Hilda's half-formed protests, "do you think you can handle my vicious, sarcastic sister in all her moods?"

"I do -"

"Then I now pronounce you man and wife!"

Well, the pointless argument was certainly forgotten, and N and Hilda spoke in unison: "What?"

"You may kiss the bride!"

And, so saying, he gave N a not-so-gentle push, just enough to activate an 'accidental' kiss between his sister and the enemy team leader.

It was the kind of accidental kiss that took both victims by surprise, though since both of them knew Hilbert very well, they had to have seen it coming. And then, just as N and Hilda realized what people might think about this, and Hilbert looked extremely proud of himself, a distinctly girly scream came from the doorway. The confused pair broke apart, and all three turned to look at the source of the noise.

They found a fainted ninja, held up by the other two and surrounded by spilled popcorn. He'd obviously come carrying the snack so he and his friends could munch while watching the hero battle, but apparently, seeing the king in a position like that was too much for him to bear.

N coughed nervously, then turned back to the throne in an attempt to hide whatever emotions were running through him at the moment. "Well, then. Even if you don't have Reshiram, I don't see why I shouldn't give you a chance."

His voice was unusually high, and broke in odd places. Hilbert nearly exploded with suppressed laughter.

Hilda pulled her brother's hat over his eyes and quickly reached into her bag to remove Eggber, whispering an improvised rhyme in a last attempt to summon it with magic. It was worthless, obviously. And then Zekrom crashed through the wall, knocking aside the throne and giving a great roar, releasing a wave of electricity. Hilda dropped Eggber in shock, and the Light Stone rolled across the ground.

Hilbert picked it up carefully, his hat back in its proper position. "Come on, Eggber," he begged, shaking it gently. "We tried to be heroes for you. Why aren't you responding?" Nothing. "We need you, Eggber. Please help us? Pretty please?"

A sharp sound came from the stone, which flew out of Hilbert's hands and started spinning in the air. And it wasn't just spinning - it was _sprouting_. Two clawed arms with wing-like tufts of something...fluffy-looking white legs...a beautiful white head with electric blue eyes...

The three stared at the dragon as it revealed itself in a ball of fire. The legendary Reshiram, at long last.

"It's real," Hilda gasped, taking a few steps back.

"It's beautiful," N whispered, awestruck.

"It's..." Hilbert blinked, then his eyes widened. "Uh, guys? Eggber's a girl."

"How can you tell?" Hilda asked, staring up at the majestic dragon.

"Look at its chest. It looks like it's wearing some kind of seashell bra."

She looked hard. Nothing out of the ordinary...well, if a legendary white dragon emerging from an ancient stone could ever be called 'ordinary.' "I don't see it."

"It also kind of looks like Drayden's beard."

She shook her head. "And I think this is the only time in my life I will ever hear Drayden's beard get compared to women's undergarments."

Eggber, or rather, Reshiram, stared down at the twins, wondering why its/her gender even really mattered when she couldn't breed with common Pokemon anyway. She shook her head.

_What was I thinking?_


	34. Truths and Ideals

**The battle of the century. Or not.**

* * *

"So it seems you were the ones after all," N said, reaching out to introduce himself to Reshiram. It growled at him, exposing its sharp teeth, and he pulled back, understanding the order. He looked back at the twins. "She wants you to be the first humans to approach her." He suddenly gave Reshiram a worried look. "I did get the gender right, didn't I?"

**"I don't even know anymore," **Reshiram admitted. **"Being a rock for so long tends to suppress memories. And make awkward tufts out of my fuzz,** **apparently,"** it added with a quick look down.** "I suppose 'she' would work, unless further investigation says otherwise." **

"All right. Good to know."

Paying no more attention to the humans, Reshiram turned her attention to her counterpart. **"It's been a while, hasn't it?"**

**"A few hundred years, more or less."** He grinned back. **"Of course, after all this time, I'm pretty sure I can still kick your butt."**

**"Please. You never could. Have you forgotten that our last match went on for _decades?_"**

Hilbert approached the dragons at that moment, having had an almost-silent conversation with his sister. "All right, Reshiram. Hilda and I decided that since you hatched for me, I get to be the one to try to catch you. If you want to."

She looked at him for a second, then back at the girl. Hilbert caught on fast, for him.

"Yes, you'll technically be a friend for both of us."

Reshiram turned to her counterpart for confirmation. Zekrom just waved her on, ready to pick up where they'd left off centuries ago. And then Hilbert threw the Master Ball he'd stolen from his sister, sealing the beast within.

* * *

"What is wrong with this castle?" Cheren complained as he followed Alder through the halls, trying to find Hilbert and Hilda. What if they'd failed already? Or, even worse, what if those ninjas had assassinated them?

Alder didn't seem too concerned. "N seemed to want to see if your friends could hatch Eggber," he reminded the boy. "I don't think he'd want to kill them before they got the chance."

"But the Gym Leaders -"

"They'll do fine, trust me." Alder focused on finding the throne room, while Cheren started talking to himself, listing everything that could possibly have gone wrong.

It was a good thing Bianca had gotten to the Gym Leaders in time. Well, most of them - knowing her, she'd probably just set foot in Striaton City right now. But Cheren couldn't afford to think of her yet. She was a distraction from the mission.

"And what if they couldn't hatch Eggber in time, Alder?" he asked instead, getting Alder's attention once again.

Alder shrugged. "I doubt N would hurt either of them."

Cheren allowed himself to feel relief over the statement, only to have it vanish as if thrown from a window a second later: "But that Ghetsis fellow seems pretty likely."

* * *

"So Hilbert was Reshiram's chosen hero all along?" N asked no one, as the twins stared in mutual awe at the Master Ball in Hilbert's hands. He was still trying to wrap his brain around it. "Or was it a delayed reaction to Hilda's attempt at a magic spell? Or perhaps it was Zekrom's presence that brought her out?" He, too, found the ball a bit more fascinating than most. "It seems there are equations even I can't solve."

**"Actually,"** he heard from the Master Ball, the faint sound of the captive dragon as she grew accustomed to her new home, **"I hatched for Hilbert because he was the first to ask nicely."**

"I guess I can't call her Eggber anymore," Hilbert was saying. "Would she mind a nickname? Or should we just make it special for our starters? What do you think, Hilda?"

"Whatever, Hilbert. Call her what you want."

"Even Miss Eggber?"

Hilda and N both cringed, and from the ball, Reshiram did, too. "Anything but that," Hilda corrected herself. "How about you just use Reshiram for now and decide on a name together later."

"All right. If you insist." He smiled and held the Master Ball proudly, then waved it in N's face. "I challenge you to a duel of the dragons!"

Despite the urgency of the situation, N felt a smile creep onto his face. It wasn't a nice one at all. "Well, I suppose I have no choice but to accept this challenge of yours. I was going to do the same anyway. But enough talk. Let the winner of this battle be declared right in his beliefs, and let no one stop him!"

Hilbert threw the ball he had just used to seal away the creature formerly known as Eggber. "Come on, Reshiram! Go kick butt!"

And the duel of the dragons began. Soon the room was filled with the clashing of claws, the bursts of power, and sharp growls as they each did their best to take the other down.

"Reshiram, try Dragon Pulse!" Hilbert commanded, and the white dragon flew to the ceiling as she tried to get a good shot.

N wasn't going to let that happen easily. "Block it with your own attack!" he ordered, and, since he didn't specify, Zekrom managed to pull off a spectacular Fusionbolt that knocked Reshiram out of the air.

But even though it still lasted a while, the decades of chaos weren't ever going to happen again. Reshiram let out a cry of victory as Zekrom fell with a loud thud, only to be taken down almost immediately by an Archeops.

* * *

Hilbert gulped. He was down to Tommy, and the only one of N's remaining friends was Zoroark. Neither was in particularly good shape, but each was the last hope their human had. Hilbert was out of Revives, even the Max Revive that Professor Juniper had given him when she handed his sister the Master Ball, and Hilda had all the Full Restores.

He needed time to think, but he knew that if he didn't call a move soon, Zoroark would finish Tommy off immediately. It was faster than Tommy, only pausing right now because N was waiting for Hilbert to surrender. Hilbert didn't even consider it, though. He wouldn't let N separate him from his Pokemon. Or Hilda from hers.

But then he had an idea. "Tommy, use Aqua Jet!"

"Watch out for -"

But N's warning came too late. As Zoroark fell, he caught his human friend's eyes and gave a half-hearted grin. **"N...I've fallen and I can't get up."**

N gave the fox a gentle smile as he helped him into an upright position. "You pain." He turned serious, and it was heartbreaking to see the look on his face as it finally sunk in that his goals were unreachable. "My friends and I have fallen. The strength of the truth was stronger than Zekrom's devotion to ideals. I guess this means that humans and Pokemon can coexist, after all. I suppose I can learn to accept that." He took Hilbert's Pokeballs, and quickly set to work healing his pets, listening to their acceptance and forgiveness.

Hilbert poked Hilda on the shoulder. "See, Hilda? We didn't need Plan B."

N looked up from his job, highly curious and slightly irritated. "Plan B?"

Hilda turned bright red in embarrassment. "See, we decided to fight fairly in battle, but if we'd lost, we were going to, uh, play dirty, if you know what I mean."

"No, I don't know what you mean. How could you cheat, if the battle had already been won?"

"It's been my experience that if someone has a heart, they wouldn't be able to stand seeing pretty girls cry," Hilbert pointed out. "So, Hilda said she wouldn't even try to fight the tears when she knew she was going to have to let her friends go - and, if that hadn't sunk in yet, she was going to imagine that she had to climb Alder's stairs again. I didn't think I needed to worry. You do have a heart, N."

_"And what does a **heart** have to do with this?"_

The voice of the new arrival rumbled through the room, and the trio all turned to stare. Ghetsis was approaching fast, and he looked _furious._


	35. The Leader of Team Plasma

**There were a lot of titles this chapter almost had. I hope we picked a good one.**

**And, yes, this is exactly how I defeated Ghetsis's Eelektross in Black.**

* * *

Ghetsis pushed the twins aside as he moved forward, seeming to only see N.

"After all the years I spent with you...raising you to be the perfect king, the perfect leader...you ruin my plans like this?" N opened his mouth to protest, but Ghetsis didn't give him the chance. "You could have freed the Pokemon! You could have done your duty and kept your mouth shut! But no, you had to let your pathetic feelings of love and friendship take control, giving these two _idiots _a chance! After all that, do you still think you are worthy of sharing the name Harmonia with me?"

"Ghetsis, I -"

"No!" the man interrupted. "There will be no more of what you want, N. From now on, I am the absolute ruler of Team Plasma - no, the world! So what if I have to take you out as well? What is a king, anyway? A mere figurehead...a pawn in my plan for world domination!"

"What does he mean by that?" Hilbert asked, but N was struck silent by the picture that was, slowly and far too late, coming together in his head. He saw things, now, things he didn't want to see. And he couldn't voice a word.

Luckily, Hilda could. She gave Ghetsis a glare that would be absolutely terrifying to behold, if the man in question wasn't so horrifying himself.

"You just used N - no, the whole of Team Plasma - just to try to conquer the world?"

"Duh. How seriously would I have been taken had I not brought along reinforcements? One man raving about Pokemon liberation would be sent to the funny farm, but an entire group of men and women working together gets attention." Ghetsis turned his glare back on N and the legendary black dragon. "And I was so close! The world would have been mine, if you hadn't decided you needed to have a 'hero battle' and thrown out any idea of victory! You stupid boy!"

Zekrom let out a loud roar, obviously ready to fry anyone who dared speak to his human like that, but Reshiram shook her head and held out a long white arm to stop him.

**"Doing this would only make things worse,"** she warned, sounding like nothing more than a growl to the humans who couldn't understand her. "**I have chosen a hero. And heroes usually do end up saving the world, after all."**

**"That kid can't even tie his own shoes,"** Zekrom growled back. **"What made you pick him?"**

**"I _was_ a little dizzy,"** Reshiram sighed, **"but that's not the real problem, is it? The kids can handle it."**

Ghetsis paid no attention to the dragons' conversation, unaware that the soft growls they kept making were plans. Instead, he took a breath, slowly calming himself, and looked back at the twins.

"Now, what to do with you two?" His gaze slid over to Hilbert, who shuddered involuntarily, before the man turned back to Hilda. "Certainly, the hero of truth has to go. But you have overpowered the Elite Four, and the Shadow Triad told me you have your own dreams of world conquest. I said before that you do not have what it takes to be a queen, but, wonderful as I am, I am not immortal. So, I'm offering you a chance. Surrender your Pokemon, and you could be made a successor to my empire. What do you say?"

The response came before she could even think it over: "Bite me."

"Are you sure? Didn't you dream about it for years? Now you have someone else to do the conquering for you."

"I was _eleven _when I realized that world domination, or even just control of Unova, was impossible_,_" Hilda pointed out, not bothering to mention she had known he was lying anyway. "Any adult who still believes they can seize complete control of the globe is just stupid."

The word seemed to trigger Ghetsis's temper, and he spoke his next sentence through gritted teeth. "You want me to be the bad guy? Fine, now I'm the bad guy."

He threw out a ball, releasing a monstrous dragon with three heads. Hilda had only seen it in pictures, but she recognized the beast at once. It was a Hydreigon. "You've defeated the Elite Four. Let's see how you fare against me."

"Why her?" Hilbert demanded, reaching out to try to keep his new dragon still before she could do something dangerous. "I'm the one who beat N. Shouldn't I be the one you want to destroy?"

"All in time, boy. First, I'd like to prepare a demonstration of what would happen to the _common_ trainer if they tried to fight. And, if she dies, emotionally breaking both heroes at once wouldn't hurt."

Hilda's jaw dropped. "_Common trainer?"_ she repeated, almost as if she hadn't heard the second half of the line. "Just because I wasn't chosen by a dragon, you dare to call me common?"

Ghetsis was pleased. She'd taken the bait. "Do you accept the challenge, then?"

"All right. And if I win...I send my Lampent to eat whatever soul you have."

"It'll probably make him sick," Hilbert pointed out, but his sister wasn't listening.

She summoned her courage and called on her first choice. "Leavanny, open with X-Scissor!"

* * *

"Please, Mandibuzz! We need you!"

The pink vulture let out a long, loud cry of defiance as she fell to the ground. She struggled to get up, and very nearly made it, but collapsed back on the floor half a second later, unable to continue.

Ghetsis smirked. Victory was his. It was all Hydreigon - he hadn't needed to send out any others. All five of the girl's Pokemon were down, and he hadn't lost a single one. It was enough to make him feel like singing, and what better tune than the one he'd used on N twice since the story started?

_"So the girl has been defeated. How pathetic.  
__And she never saw it coming - who'd have guessed?  
__Ain't that purdy?  
__Bye-bye birdy..."_

"Enough!"

The voice was harsh, determined, and very, very serious, and it was all the more threatening because no one expected Hilbert to be capable of making such a sound. But something in the boy had snapped, and it was one of the scariest things Mandibuzz had ever seen.

"No one uses my future brother-in-law as a pawn and gets away with it," Hilbert growled. "Let my sister go, _Dennis,_ before I make you."

"Please. I could defeat you with my hands tied behind my back. What makes you think you can win against me?"

"I've got the power of friendship on my side!"

"I just annihilated your sister's entire team with an underleveled three-headed dragon!"

"I've got a mutant sea lion with a mustache!" Hilbert shouted, topping the argument in volume but seeming to realize soon after that describing Tommy in such a way was probably not the best thing to do if he wanted to defeat this jerk. "And, uh, I'm the hero of truth," he added quickly, before anyone else could point out that he was running out of arguments.

Ghetsis was amused. "You think you can do better than your sister?" he asked, almost quietly. "Fine, then. My Hydreigon will enjoy having _three_ courses for dinner tonight."

Hilbert gulped, but remembered N had healed his Pokemon. Hilda slipped her entire stash of Revives and Full Restores into his bag as she passed, before getting down to reassure her own monsters that they would be fine.

"Hydreigon?" Ghetsis called, getting the beast's attention. "You know what to do."

Hilbert reached for the bright purple ball. She was his best hope. "Reshiram, use Dragon Pulse!"

* * *

"That Full Restore won't help for long," Ghetsis called. Sure, Hilbert had used Reshiram to take down Hydreigon. That was nothing, the girl had weakened it. He knew he could still win the fight, and dispose of the hero and the other one just like he'd planned. It would be easy.

Eelektross growled at its opponent, but Tommy just sat down on the ground. A couple of Wild Charge attacks had hit, and all Hilbert could do was use a Full Restore to bring his creature to full health after each super-effective strike. Hilda had her arms wrapped tightly around Erika, who had wound her tail around Hilda's feet in her own version of a hug. N didn't have to ask to know that they had both lost hope, and he and Zekrom decided together that they would be the next to fight.

Hilbert, however, was just glad that he and Cheren had devoted all their time the previous summer to perfecting their evil laughter, as the maniacal cackle that escaped his throat was downright impressive. Even Ghetsis had to admit it, if only to himself. "What's wrong, Castle-Man?" Hilbert called back. "Tommy can't hurt you. Why don't you just try attacking again?"

"Don't mind if I do. Eelektross, kill that stupid thing!"

Eelektross hissed and rushed forward in a Wild Charge attack, which connected once more with Tommy. Though Tommy was definitely hurt, the recoil damage brought Eelektross crashing down, unable to fight. Its desperation to deal super-effective hits had caused it to knock itself out. Erika burst out laughing at the blind stupidity, though her trainer could only manage a slight lift at one corner of her mouth.

Ghetsis recalled Eelektross as Hilbert did the same with Tommy. Such idiocy would not come from the man again, he swore. "Cofagrigus! Finish him!"

Hilbert shook his head sadly. "I pick Krookodile!"

And the battle continued. There were losses on both sides, but Hilbert was more focused than he'd ever been on anything. And that was probably what led him to victory.

* * *

"No!" Ghetsis cried as he watched his last hope, his Bouffalant, fall to a tired Mienfoo. "This cannot be! My plans for Team Plasma were perfect! _I _am perfect! I am perfection!"

"Ghetsis," Hilbert said, his focus sliding away slowly, "you are wearing a _castle dress._ Far from perfect fashion sense, anyway."

The man didn't seem to hear him, too stunned at his defeat to process anything else. "All those years, wasted! Defeated by a child, no less! This is unacceptable!"

"You tried to take over Unova by taking away Pokemon, manipulated N into running things for you, and challenged a kid that made friends with a legendary," Hilbert pointed out. "Did you learn nothing from Team Rocket and Team Galactic?"

A laugh from behind him alerted them all to the arrival of the Champion, his flaming hair appearing to be the size of the rest of his body put together. "Good point, kid," Alder said, reaching behind him to pull out handcuffs. "The cops said I could use these on N," he explained as he caught Hilda's expression. "But I think this guy deserves it more, don't you?"

Ghetsis growled. "I could have ruled Unova," he grumbled as Alder cuffed him. "I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling kids."

Cheren struggled to keep his mouth shut, focusing on his friends. "Is there anyone else we need to bother with?" he asked, and Hilbert shrugged.

"We might need to get a few of the grunts," he admitted. "But the problem is, how do we know who actually knew about the evil plan and who thought they were doing what was right?"

"Just Ghetsis, then," Alder said, tugging the other man to get him to move. "The Sages got out, but we'll get to them later. As for you, Ghetsis...we're taking the stairs."

"I'll be back," Ghetsis promised as Alder and Cheren led him away. "I'll always come back!"

But his vows of revenge proved worthless, and he followed Cheren and Alder, grumbling something about ninjas.

It was over. They had won.


	36. The Final Goodbye

**The end of it all. But not really.**

Hilbert was still as confused as ever, still trying to wrap his brain around what had just happened. Sure, he'd had suspicions about Ghetsis from the start, or at least since Hilda's confrontation with the man on Tumbeline Bridge, but he'd never thought that he was N's _father._ Or that his ultimate goal was world conquest, instead of simply spreading misery.

Hilda had other things on her mind as she returned her starter to the safety of her ball. The little leaf sticker had all but peeled off due to use. With a sigh, she turned to N, who was staring out the hole in the wall Zekrom had made on arrival. He was still shockingly silent.

"Will you be ok?"

He didn't look back. "I don't know."

"You can come with us," she offered, to Hilbert's amusement. "You can talk to Hilbert's Patrat again, and my Lillipup, and meet my mom. We've told her a bit about you." She failed to mention that her mother had asked to meet the young man specifically because Hilbert had told her that he was Hilda's boyfriend, and for once, Hilbert kept his mouth shut.

N seemed to know, anyway. He turned back to the others, giving a small, forced smile, but didn't meet their eyes as he made his request. "Hilda, if you don't mind, I'd like to see Erika again, please."

It surprised her that N had used her Serperior's nickname. He'd usually referred to her by her species name. But she pushed the surprise aside and released Erika once again.

N didn't speak to the Pokemon at first, instead merely stroking her head as he finally returned his full attention to the other humans. "It all started because of her, you know," he said, as Erika made a noise very similar to a purr. Or at least as close as a Serperior could get. "When she and Lillipup mentioned how much they loved you, that first day in Accumula Town, it went against everything I...everything Ghetsis raised me to believe. I didn't think there were people who cared about Pokemon, outside of Team Plasma."

"And what about me?" Hilbert asked, wondering exactly where N was going with this.

"You were unimportant at the time." N didn't mean any offense by the comment, and Hilbert didn't take any. There was a strained silence among the three, broken only by the soft sound of Zoroark's paws on the floor as he moved to stand with N and Erika.

"You were saying?" Hilda prodded, eager to get on with the tale.

"Right. The story." N watched as Erika slithered back to Hilda, proof that Pokemon did love their trainers. "Even though I noticed Erika and Lillipup seemed to adore you, Ghetsis kept telling me that you were truly a monster deep down, and just hadn't unlocked it yet. I didn't exactly believe him. You were too..." he trailed off, trying to find the right words.

Zoroark rolled his eyes, and poked his old friend in the shoulder. **"Just do the sappy love-confession thing already,"** he ordered, and N gently smacked his paw away. **"Just say, 'Hilda, my darling, I have never seen a creature more stunning than you are. Become my mate, no, my queen, and we will live with Pokemon and Disney movies and all the Pecha Berry smoothies you desire.' That might get her."**

N didn't look back. "I will use my own words, Zoroark," he stated, and Zoroark held up his paws in surrender.

**"All right. If you want to miss your chance, go for it."**

Hilda stared at Zoroark as she tried to guess what it was he was saying. "Did he just tell you to 'perform the human mating ritual,' or something?"

N felt a strange urge to laugh, and the feeling startled him. "Perhaps. But I was in the middle of a story, wasn't I?"

Hilbert and Hilda mimed zipping their lips in perfect synchronization. N continued on, fully aware he was just biding his time, trying to think of his next course of action. "Of course, each time I ran into you, I got a bit more attached to both of you. That's why I chose you to summon Reshiram. Things didn't work out quite like I'd planned, of course, but perhaps that was what was best for everyone."

"And what are you planning to do now?" Hilbert asked, 'unzipping' his lips to talk.

"I don't know. I might not be welcome here in Unova. Not after Ghetsis..." He shook his head to clear it, and then summoned his Zekrom.

"You're leaving? Now?" Hilda felt the tears threatening to fall again, and she brushed them away impatiently.

"Well, I can't stay, and I did promise Zoroark a Poffin. I can't be sure I'll stay in Sinnoh, though." He looked back at Erika, meeting her eyes. "Keep an eye on Hilda for me," he instructed. "If I return to find she is in less than the perfect condition I left her in..."

Erika looked appalled. **"Why would I let my favorite toy get broken?"**

"And keep Hilbert alive, too."

**"Fun-sucker."**

N gave the Serperior one last smile, which she briefly returned before she went back to her ball. He looked away, then, back at the hero of truth. "Hilbert, I want to ask you something, as well."

"Yeah?"

"Don't lick things that shouldn't be licked. Your mother probably told you this before you left, but I personally don't trust you enough. And that goes for Tommy as well, for reasons I'm sure you understand."

"Can you give me examples of what shouldn't be licked?"

"Windows. Knives. Electrical outlets."

"Fun-sucker," Hilbert pouted, kicking a piece of rubble across the room. He'd only licked a window once in his life, and even then it was because Cheren had dared him to do it. He assumed that the dangerous stuff was mentioned for Tommy's benefit, or that N had a very low opinion on his survival instincts.

N ignored the name-calling and looked back at Hilda, at which point another tense silence fell on the room. For a second, neither knew what to say or do, and they just stood there, trying to think of the right way to say goodbye. And then, before he could register her movement, she'd tackled him in a hug.

"Don't forget me," she told him, so quietly that he nearly missed it.

He hugged her back, reluctant to let go. "Never."

As much as they both wanted to stay where they were, N broke free of Hilda's grip with little effort. "There's not much I can add here. So...go on. Live your dream."

And he'd hopped onto Zekrom's back and was taking off through the skies, fading into the distance. Both siblings stood there, waving, until they were out of sight.

Hilbert stared past Erika, focusing on his sister. "Are you ok, Hilda?"

"No." She turned toward her brother, but with a look of terror rather than sorrow. "We're going to have to go down those stairs, aren't we?"

Hilbert made a face. "Come on, Hilda. N isn't the only one with a giant dragon, you know."

* * *

Hilbert and Hilda took the dragon home, bringing Cheren with them as Alder headed down to take Ghetsis to the police. They found Bianca at Professor Juniper's lab, explained to them both that everything was fine, and two days later the four were hanging out in Cheren's backyard, just like they used to do when they were kids.

"What happened to beating Alder, Cheren?" Bianca asked, attempting to make conversation.

"Things happened." Cheren didn't seem to want to talk about it, but Hilbert missed that.

"What kind of things?" Hilbert questioned, wondering what made his formerly strength-obsessed friend so...empty, for lack of a better word.

"He told me a story, that's all." Cheren started pulling bark off a twig he'd picked up off the grass, suddenly almost as sad-looking as Hilda.

Bianca noticed. She stood up, glaring around the circle. "Hey! You guys beat Team Plasma, didn't you? Shouldn't we be celebrating?"

"I dunno." Hilbert looked back at his sister. "She's still kind of upset over the man of her dreams flying off on the back of a giant dragon, you know."

Hilda stuck out her tongue at him, but otherwise didn't move. Bianca was undisturbed.

"Then we'll celebrate something that's not related to N at all. Like...Cheren's birthday!"

Cheren rolled his eyes. "My birthday isn't until next week, Bianca."

Hilbert, however, jumped at the chance. "It's still closer than the two months Hilda and I have to wait for ours, and Bianca's is even later than that. Why shouldn't we have a little celebration now?"

"A we-beat-the-bad-guys party sounds fine," Hilda said, sitting up and flashing a smile. "I'll bake the cake."

"Are you sure we can trust you in the kitchen?" Hilbert teased, and she couldn't stop the smile.

"With Mom's supervision, of course. But really, how hard could baking be?"

* * *

The cake was delicious, but that wasn't the only point of the party. Bianca had decided to stay in Nuvema Town, partly to show her father that she'd survived her journey but to help Professor Juniper as well. Cheren, on the other hand, remained unsure of his future career path and made plans to contact Alder to get his opinions. The twins themselves were equally unsure, as Hilda refused to climb Alder's stairs again and Hilbert had never known to begin with.

They'd all grown as people, and soon enough they would be going their separate ways for further self-discovery. But for now, Nuvema Town's Fantastic Four were together again, eating cake and drinking lemonade with their Pokemon and parents, and all was well.


	37. Obligatory Epilogue Chapter

**THANK-YOU NOTE: "To be honest, I didn't expect more than six follows for this story after the complete idiocy of the first few chapters. But now, here we are, with just this chapter left over. I think we would both love to thank everyone who followed, favorited or reviewed, whether they got a reply or not. Also important, though no one else is likely to read this, are the designers of the game and the various people behind everything we've referenced and/or parodied in this story. Especially those who worked on Tangled, because without 'Mother Knows Best,' Ghetsis would probably have been taken seriously way before his time. So, a big round of applause for everyone who can't hear it through the computer!" - my sister explains our gratitude for everything, much better than I could**

**And expect spoilers for the next pair of games in this chapter.**

* * *

_Two years later..._

12:45 AM, somewhere in Kanto

A loud howl cut through the air, startling the young man out of his thoughts. If he didn't know better, he'd assume that Zoroark was having a weird conversation with a wild Arcanine, but there was nothing actually being said. Zoroark probably just liked making noise.

"Is there any reason for this?" he asked, to his old friend's amusement.

**"Not really," **Zoroark admitted, trying to stare at the stars but finding his nose to be in his way. **"I just got bored, so I wanted something to do."**

"Then sleep," N commanded, smiling a little. He knew his friend too well. "We don't want you waking up the entire region. They might think there's a werewolf running around."

**"But aren't _you_ a werewolf?"** Zoroark taunted, recalling a particular incident two years earlier. That _was_ what Hilbert had been convinced of, wasn't it? It was obvious that his human caught the reference, but for once, he didn't mention it.

Instead, N glanced up at the sky. A large, perfectly full moon shone down on the trio, and N imagined he could see the outline of the legendary Cresselia as she passed it. "Apparently not. Just like I told Hilbert in Chargestone Cave, remember?"

**"I don't remember much about the cave that doesn't involve Erika. It's a shame we left. Something tells me she and I would have been great friends."**

**"Of course you would," **Zekrom stated, red eyes staring up at the starry sky. **"Two sneaky, sarcastic Pokemon who would like nothing more than to make their human pets fall in love...not that there was much you would have to do. ****I'd hate to see what other things you would do if you had that Serperior as your accomplice."**

"Bring about the apocalypse, probably," N said absently, peeling the bark off a fallen twig. "And that's one of many reasons we should never go back."

Zekrom shook his head. **"You don't mean that. 'Never' is a long time."**

And Zekrom knew his hero - N truly didn't mean to say that he hadn't considered going back to Unova, if only to see what had become of the others Ghetsis had used, and where the twins were now. "But what about all the people Team Plasma convinced to release their Pokemon? Surely _they_ don't want me back."

**"Wanted or not, we might be needed. Reshiram can't handle everything by herself, you know. And with Kyurem being, well, how he is..."**

"Are you trying to say that Kyurem will try to take over Unova next?" N questioned, and Zekrom laughed.

**"Of course not, he's not _evil._ But there was a reason we sent him to live in a cave in the middle of nowhere."**

"A reason I would love to hear at a reasonable hour. If we're going back, I don't want you falling asleep in midair and killing us all."

Zoroark snapped to attention. **"So we're going back?"**

"Did you ever doubt it?"

**"You changed your mind in a hurry. Do you really want to meet Kyurem that badly?"**

"Something like that." N threw the partially-shaved twig in his friend's general direction. "Go play fetch."

* * *

2:13 AM, Castelia City

Cheren woke up to realize he'd fallen asleep on top of his papers again, completely dressed with his glasses still on. He knew he should be sleeping in a proper bed, or at least a sleeping bag, but he couldn't shake the dream.

It had been a pleasant one, not like the ones he'd heard had tortured Hilda for the past year and a half, since she'd heard Ghetsis had escaped prison. It had been so long since he'd seen any of his friends; the only news of them came from phone conversations with his parents. But this dream had held them all, just as he'd remembered them.

He'd discovered over the last year that his chosen career path was much more difficult than he'd been led to believe. Not that he'd expected it to be particularly easy, of course, but looking at some of his future colleagues you would wonder how they managed to get the position. He'd dreamed that his friends had shown up where he was studying, grabbed him by the arm and dragged him outside, just like they always had. It was certainly more than a little nostalgic...

_Stop that_, he thought at himself, nearly smacking his head with the book. _You'll see them again. It hasn't been that long_.

His Liepard yawned loudly, alerting its trainer to reality and reminding him that Gym Leaders need sleep to deal with challengers. He was nearly eighteen, all but an adult, and he needed to put a childish desire to go out and play with his friends behind studying for his new career. Perhaps the sounds Emboar was making were just the same statement, in his own tongue.

Or maybe not. He couldn't communicate with Pokemon.

* * *

3:25 AM, Nuvema Town

When Hilbert woke to the smell of chocolate, his immediate thought was, _She must've had a nightmare again_. It didn't really surprise him. Hilda had developed a love for cooking, as it helped her cope with the dreams, and it wasn't unusual to wake up in the morning and find she'd baked and decorated a cake while calming down.

Things had changed, Hilbert knew, especially when he was greeted in the hallway by Hilda's Chandelure. The tiny Victini that Hilda had befriended just the other day sat on one of his many oddly-shaped limbs, staring at Hilbert as though it had never seen him before. It was starting to get old.

"She at it again?" he asked them, and Victini nodded. "Erika helping?"

"Chan..." Chandelure floated away, back to the kitchen, where Erika was curled up in a corner, sleeping. It was Victini's turn to help, it seemed, and it flew up to turn off the timer before it could wake the whole house as Hilda removed the brownie pan from the oven.

Hilbert jumped right into talking, and his voice startled her. "Does Mom know you're making midnight snacks again?"

Hilda made a quick recovery, however. "She said I could have the kitchen any time I wanted, as long as I help pay for groceries. And besides, it's after midnight." She smacked her brother's hand away as he reached for the pan. "Bad Hilbert. Wait until they're cut."

If she insisted. "And what are we going to do with last Tuesday's cake?" he asked, taking a seat on the floor next to the sleeping Serperior.

"I don't know. Feed it to Tommy, maybe?" Tommy had become very useful over the past two years, acting as a living garbage disposal for the slightly-stale leftovers. In fact, Hilda suspected that her family and the other Pokemon deliberately left him some of it, but she wasn't going to complain. As long as it was gone.

"And what about you?"

"I've been thinking." She hauled herself up so she was sitting on the edge of the sink, her eyes locked on her brother and her starter. Erika opened one sleepy eye to pay some kind of attention. "I keep reliving my last fight with Ghetsis, except we all end up dead as he takes over. I read in a magazine that dreams can be windows to your true feelings, and I think that this means I'm -"

"Scared of Dennis the Menace?" Hilbert finished. "Don't worry, they'll find him sooner or later. How hard could it be for the cops to track down a man wearing a castle dress and a space monocle?"

"The fact that they haven't found him yet, despite it being almost two years since he escaped, proves that it's much more difficult than you might think," she reminded him. "But that wasn't my point. As much as I fear for my own life in those dreams, and almost everyone who was with me on my Pokedex journey, the one I'm really concerned about is N."

N was a subject they rarely spoke of, since neither sibling knew where he was, or even if he was still alive. Not that they hadn't been searching. "And what are we going to do about that? It's not like he actually kept in touch, or stayed in Sinnoh."

"That's why _I'm_ going to look for him. Again, to Johto this time. You can come if you wish. After all, I may need your legendary, since mine doesn't have enough psychic power to levitate both of us."

After they'd found Victini, Reshiram had become Hilbert's alone, though she would give either twin permission to use her power whenever they needed it, such as when Hilda had a rematch with Drayden and got to keep her Legend Badge. She didn't use her in the fight, but it was good to have such a powerful creature in the background. And Reshiram was also a great form of emergency transportation, like when they'd gone to Sinnoh to find N the previous year.

"I'm not letting you go out there alone," Hilbert declared, glancing out the window to where he knew Reshiram was sleeping. "N is my friend, too. Besides, what if you find him and need a chaperone?"

"Are you kidding? You'll be the one needing a babysitter." She turned to the sink and began washing the utensils, as quietly as she could. "We'll tell Mom we're going in the morning. Well, later morning. Maybe afternoon, if she can't get us out of bed before then. She can tell us if she hears he came back."

"And I think I know who can help us find him." Hilbert smiled and pointed at some pictures in a magazine that happened to be lying on the counter. "The forest gods!"

Hilda glanced at the picture, and smacked him lightly upside the head. "Hilbert, those are Sewaddles."

* * *

7:30 AM, Nuvema Town

Bianca didn't comprehend the professor's latest request, at first. She'd asked her to do this far too early in the morning for Bianca's tastes, and the blonde was still sleepy. But upon her arrival at the lab, Professor Juniper finally repeated her statement.

"Bianca, it's about that time of year we give out a Pokedex to a lucky child or three. I have one in mind, the child of an old friend."

"Is this kid going to be anything like the last one?"

Professor Juniper flinched. The year before, she'd selected a boy from Nacrene City to be the next Pokedex carrier, since he had spoken to her father about becoming a researcher and she'd wanted to test him. Unfortunately, no sooner had the boy taken his Snivy and set foot on his journey than he'd dropped and broken his Pokedex.

"No," the professor finally said. "At least, I hope not. This child is older, and hopefully more responsible. And from what I've heard before we started losing touch, this young person may need our assistance."

"So you're giving the kid a Pokedex?"

"Why not? It helped you find a path you wanted to follow, didn't it? And Cheren learned there are more important things than strength, and Hilda's Pokedex taught Hilbert how to focus. Why shouldn't it help another poor soul in need?"

Bianca rolled her eyes. Perhaps Aurea Juniper was much more like Cedric than Bianca had originally thought. "And where does this kid live, exactly?"

Professor Juniper smiled. "In a town called Aspertia City. Do you think you can make it across the region? You'll get to explore."

But Bianca had already taken the Pokedex off the table, and was looking at the three Pokemon that Professor Juniper had prepared for the new trainer to choose from. A Tepig, Oshawott and Snivy sat in their balls, which were tucked into a safety carrier.

"And take another Pokedex," Juniper warned as Bianca started out. "Just in case."

"All right. Bye, Professor!"

And she was gone. Professor Juniper felt the first strings of pride, and wondered briefly if this was what it was like to have children. A whole new adventure was about to begin.

And just in time.


End file.
